Andy: What did you do last weekend? Yuka: I went to Jamal’s Wedding. Andy: Jamal?! Your Ex Jamal? Yuka: Yes, that Jamal. Andy: He Had the nerve to invite you to his wedding? Yuka: I actually thought it was nice of him to invite me. Whatever happened between us years ago is Water under the … Читать далее
In an embarrassing about-face, federal prosecutors abruptly dropped criminal charges against an Indiana man who they accused of bugging his ex-wife’s automobile. The FBI last Friday arrested David Voelkert, 38, largely on the basis of messages the South Bend man recently exchanged with a purported 17-year-old Facebook friend named «Jessica Studebaker.» In fact, the «Studebaker» … Читать далее
Sydney: Where should we go on our Honeymoon? I thought Rome would be nice. Isaac: Let me check. No, that wouldn’t be a good idea. Sydney: Okay, how about Tokyo? I’ve always wanted to visit Japan. Isaac: No, I’m afraid not. Sydney: How are you making these Determinations? Isaac: I’m checking to see if the … Читать далее
Rita: I just got a Hot tip from my brother to buy Stock in McQ Corp. Rick: Your brother works for McQ Corp., doesn’t he? Rita: Yeah, he’s a Director in the company, so he should know if Something big is brewing. Rick: If he’s a director and he knows something that isn’t Publicly disclosed … Читать далее
Svetlana: Tomorrow is the first day of Junior high. Are you ready? Quinn: Sure, it’s not that big a deal. I already put some Supplies in my new Backpack. Svetlana: Let’s see. You have some Folders, a Three-ring binder, and a Pen. Is that all you’re bringing to school? Quinn: I don’t have my books … Читать далее
Phillip: So, have you Heard the news? Mary: No, What’s up? Phillip: I just heard that the company is planning To lay off 20 percent of the employees in the next two months. Mary: You’re Kidding! I knew they were looking for some way To cut costs with the Lower profits this quarter, but I … Читать далее
Mother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it … Читать далее
Erin: Smell that! Sean: Smell what? Erin: Can’t you smell the Changing of the seasons? I love Autumn. The Fall colors are out and there’s a Chill is in the air. Sean: That means I’ll be Raking leaves every weekend when I should be watching football. Erin: How can you be so Grumpy when you … Читать далее
Doris: Hello. Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to The lady of the house? Doris: What is this regarding? Telemarketer: I’m calling from Cheetam Cable Company and we have a very special offer. This month only, you can get a Bundle of services for the low, low price of $69.99! This offer… Doris: Thank you, but … Читать далее
Dr. Chung: Hello, Luis, I’m Dr. Chung. You’re here for a Check-up and a Cleaning, is that right? Luis: Yes, that’s right. Dr. Chung: Okay, let’s take a look. Have you had your Wisdom teeth taken out? Luis: No, I haven’t. Dr. Chung: Hmm…You may need to do that soon. You’ve had a Root canal? … Читать далее
I was walking down the street Minding my own business one evening when I was stopped by a Police officer. After asking me a couple of questions about where I’d been, he told me to put my hands behind my back. He was going To arrest me! He Handcuffed me and gave me the Miranda … Читать далее
Paula: Ta-da! We’re here. This is your big surprise. Roman: We’re going to the Circus? Paula: You Got it in one! It’s going to be great. There’ll be Clowns and Acrobats, Trapeze artists and Lion tamers. Roman: I haven’t been to the circus since I was a kid. Paula: That’s the point. I thought this … Читать далее
Victoria: As you can see, this Executive apartment is Fully equipped. When you called and asked for the best available apartment, I thought of this one immediately. Just look at this kitchen! All of the Appliances are Top of the line. Justin: Do you mind if I Take a closer look? I like to cook. … Читать далее
The forest, which came almost to the edge of the beach, climbed away into the distance up the flanks of the low, misty hills. Underfoot, the sand was course and mixed with myriads of broken shells. Here and there the retreating tide had left long streamers of weed trailed across the beach. The rain, which … Читать далее
It was well said of a certain German book that «_er lasst sich nicht lesen_» — it does not permit itself to be read. There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. Men die nightly in their beds, wringing the hands of ghostly confessors and looking them piteously in the eyes … Читать далее
Nancy: Hello there! Hello! Eric: Hello. Nancy: I’m Nancy, your Neighbor across the street. You’re new to the neighborhood. Eric: Yes, I just moved in last weekend. Nancy: That’s nice. How are you Settling in? Eric: Fine, thanks. Nancy: Would you like to come over and have a cup of coffee? I can give you … Читать далее
Hung: I can’t believe that the famous Food critic, Julia Schilds, will be eating in my restaurant tomorrow night. I need to prepare a Gourmet menu that’s going to be Mind-blowing. Padma: She wouldn’t be coming here if she didn’t already know that your Cuisine is considered some of the best food in the city. … Читать далее
I was Negotiating a contract with a new business Partner, and we had a meeting to Clarify the Terms. Bill: If I understand the terms correctly, the length of the contract would be one year with a one-year Option. Is that correct? Ms. Samuels: Do you mean The contract for equipment rental or the one … Читать далее
Emiliano: I’m not sure about this Video conference today. It’s The next best thing to having a meeting Face-to-face, but I’ve never used most of this equipment before. Fatima: It’s A piece of cake. Do you want to do a Run-through with me? Emiliano: Do you mind? I’d really like to make sure that I … Читать далее
Lindsay: Look at this Designer bag I bought. It was such a Steal! Rafael: Let me see that. You do know that this is an Imitation, not The real thing, right? Lindsay: What do you mean? Of course it’s real. Rafael: Where did you buy it? Lindsay: Well, there was a guy on the street … Читать далее
Melinda: Ta da! I’m finally done with my Portfolio. Do you want to see it? Chad: Sure. This portfolio has Samples of your work, right? Melinda: It does, but it’s much more than that. It’s a presentation of the Highlights of my career, with examples of my Groundbreaking work. Chad: Uh, okay, if you say … Читать далее
Olivia: Dad, can I ask you a question? Dad: You just did. Olivia: I mean, can I ask you another question? Dad: Ask away. Olivia: Where do babies come from? Dad: What? Where did you Come up with that one? Olivia: I don’t know. Dad: Let me tell you. That’s for Grown-ups to know. You’re … Читать далее
Yuko: What’s all this? Reza: We’re Gearing up for the Busy season. We don’t want to Get caught with our pants down like we did last season. Yuko: Last season, we had an unusual number of visitors because of the Unseasonably warm weather. We can’t expect Lightening to strike twice. Reza: We have to prepare … Читать далее
Lorraine: Hi, this is a surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure? Terrance: Can’t I just Drop in on my little sister Unannounced to see how she is? I was just in this Neck of the woods and thought I would Pay you a visit. Lorraine: Sure you were. Of course, I’m glad to … Читать далее
Angie: Ooh, it looks like Joanna Has her sights set on you. Look at how she’s Giving you the eye. Kenji: Is she? I hadn’t noticed. Angie: Watch out, she usually gets what she wants and she Doesn’t take no for an answer. Kenji: I’m not interested in Joanna At all. She’s not My type. … Читать далее
Anne: Where were you this past weekend? I tried calling you on Friday to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me. Jurgen: I was in Chicago for a Long weekend. Anne: Chicago? I didn’t know you were planning a trip. I thought you were pretty Strapped this month. A ticket to … Читать далее
Jon: Wait! What are you doing with that Squishy tomato? Marta: I’m Tossing it. It’s no good anymore. Jon: I’ll take it, and I’ll take that Stale bread, too. Marta: Stop! You can’t Fish that out of the Trash. Jon: I’m trying to do my part to reduce Food waste. Tired vegetables are still okay … Читать далее
A woman who was reported missing from an Icelandic tour unwittingly joined a search for herself. According to the Reykjavik Grapevine, a woman described as «Asian, about 160cm, in dark clothing and speaks English well» was listed as missing Saturday near the Eldgjá volcanic canyon in southern Iceland. A search continued through the weekend with … Читать далее
Brett: Do you know what kind of Mood Mom is in? Molly: Not really. Why? Brett: I really need a raise in my Allowance and I’m waiting for the right time to ask. She’ll be more likely to say “yes” if she’s not feeling too Grouchy. Molly: I wouldn’t Count on this being a good … Читать далее
…I recur here to my personal point about the tendency to miss what the title means; or even what the title says… In a rambling column, whether because it is personal or impersonal, it is permissible to introduce personal trifles about oneself, as well as about other people, so long as it is made sufficiently … Читать далее
It’s hard to avoid traveling Over The holidays but the experience I had last week really Takes the cake. I flew back to Tucson, Arizona, to be with my wife’s family, as we do every Christmas. I got to the airport an hour and a half before my flight, which I thought would be Plenty … Читать далее
In Guyana, where forests cover over 80 percent of the country, the threat of illegal logging is ever present. A lot of the time, it’s hard to even know if it’s happening. That’s in part because the country’s population is so small, just 735,000 people to keep watch on 83,000 square miles of country. But … Читать далее
Roberta: What are you working on? Lee: Oh, I’m writing the Company profiles for the businesses participating in the meeting next month. Do you have a minute to give me some Feedback? Roberta: Sure, what do you have So far? Lee: I’ve started to write the ones for Lundrun and Max Electronics. This is what … Читать далее
Itself, by itself, solely, one everlasting, and single. Plato: Sympos. With a feeling of deep yet most singular affection I regarded my friend Morella. Thrown by accident into her society many years ago, my soul from our first meeting, burned with fires it had never before known; but the fires were not of Eros, and … Читать далее
«When I look back at that, a 16 and 14 year old, we were really young to be taking the bus by ourselves to New York and spending a day going to an audition — we were living adult lives as teenagers,» Damon said. Matt Damon has revealed that he shared a bank account with … Читать далее
In a little district west of Washington Square the streets have run crazy and broken themselves into small strips called «places.» These «places» make strange angles and curves. One street crosses itself a time or two. An artist once discovered a valuable possibility in this street. Suppose a collector with a bill for paints, paper … Читать далее
In the dreaded French impotence trials, performance anxiety took on new meaning. Ink the Spanish Inquisition was harsh? Just as intimidating to many men were the French impotence courts of the 16th and 17th centuries, when husbands charged with erectile dysfunction were obliged to prove their virility before witnesses. A husband’s inability to perform was … Читать далее
Most runners have to stop when they reach their lactate threshold, but Dean Karnazes’ muscles never tire: he can run for three days and nights without stopping. What’s his secret? From club runners to Olympians, every athlete has a limit. Scientifically, this limit is defined as the body’s lactate threshold and when you exercise beyond … Читать далее
Lourdes: Do you see those teenagers over there? They’re making trouble again. Nick: Those kids are just Messing around. When they get bored, they’ll Pipe down and go home. Lourdes: They’re really Getting on my nerves, playing loud music and making all that noise. They’re a Disgrace. Nick: Get away from that window before they … Читать далее
Russ: Mom says you’re having a Slumber party next Saturday. Irene: I’m just having a few friends over for a Sleepover and it’s None of your business. Russ: Don’t be like that. How many people did you invite? Irene: I’m not telling you anything. I know what you’re thinking. You want To pull pranks on … Читать далее
I wanted to visit the National Museum, but when I arrived, it was closed. Rudy: Can you tell me the Hours of operation for the Museum? Guard: It’s open from 10 a. m. to 5 p. m., Monday through Saturday. It’s closed on Sunday. Rudy: Thanks. I’ll be back tomorrow. —— The next day, I … Читать далее
I can’t believe I made it into San Francisco, At long last! This morning, I went to the airport to Catch my 10 a. m. Flight. I got there early to go through Security. The folks at the TSA can really slow things down sometimes. Since I had an Electronic ticket, I didn’t have to … Читать далее
Steve, my new boyfriend, decided to cook dinner for me. I was really excited, That is, until I tried his cooking. Steve: What do you think of the soup? I thought: This is so Bland, and what are these little Lumpy things in the soup? Of course I didn’t say that aloud. Elaine: It’s Delicious. … Читать далее
Selena: Don’t look now, but a big group of mothers are coming to this house To give you a piece of their mind. Justin: What?! I meant it as a joke. I Didn’t mean anything by it. Selena: You’ll have to tell that to Sally. She’s At the head of the group and she’s Flanked … Читать далее
Marjorie: I wish I could have been there when you told the managers that you were leaving the company and starting your own business! Pedro: Everyone was Taken aback. Dan Gave me a dirty look, of course. He’s always Looked down his nose at me. As for Sanjaya, If looks could kill… Marjorie: Sanjaya? I … Читать далее
Jan: This is the life! Spending the day at a Spa is my idea of Paradise. Tim: Yeah, it’s great. Jan: Aren’t you enjoying yourself? Tim: The Massage was okay, but why do I have to get a Facial and a Body wrap? I’m a guy! Jan: Men need Rejuvenating, too. These are all Holistic … Читать далее
Sandra: Where will we be staying when we visit Trumanville? Roger: We’ll be staying in a neighborhood on the Outskirts of the town, but A stone’s throw From some of the major sites we’ll want to see. Sandra: I hope there’ll be a lot of taxis around. You know I hate to walk. Roger: Trumanville … Читать далее
In 1936, Nazi supporter and school graduate Hildegard Trutz was recruited as one of Germany’s racially’pure’ women, chosen to sleep with SS officers in the hope of producing an Aryan child. It is estimated that some 20,000 such babies were bred during the 12 years of the Third Reich, principally in Germany and Norway. This … Читать далее
Rajid: What are you doing? Nicole: I’m putting my garbage into the Garbage can. Why? Rajid: Don’t you Recycle? You’re supposed to separate out your Recyclables and put them in a separate Bin. Nicole: I know, I know, but who has the time? I don’t have that much Trash anyway. Rajid: Oh, yeah? The Dump … Читать далее
Heather: What’s the matter? You look terrible. Paul: Haven’t you seen the paper? The Stock market went down a lot yesterday. The NASDAQ is down 100 points and the Dow is down 30! My Portfolio is in big trouble. Heather: I knew you had some Stock options in this company, but I didn’t know you … Читать далее