Texts

Paula: Okay, let’s get this party started! Mitch: I really don’t think having a party is such a good idea. We’re supposed to be House-sitting, and I’m sure the Abrams wouldn’t want their house used for a big Blowout. Paula: Ignorance is bliss. They’ll never know. Stop being such a Goody two-shoes and help me … Читать далее

Paul: All done. Samantha: You’re done with your Paper? How can that be? I’m just getting started. Paul: I’m just a better student than you are. Samantha: Let me see that. You didn’t write this. Paul: No, I didn’t. I downloaded somebody’s paper from some website and Slapped my name on it. The professor will … Читать далее

Pierre: How does it feel to be On the cusp of a new Discovery? Irene: Let’s not Jump the gun. We’ve made some major Leaps forward, but I’m not sure I’d call what we’ve done so far Revolutionary. Pierre: Not yet, but you’re close to a Breakthrough. That’s Evident. Irene: I think you might be … Читать далее

Cassandra: I’ve had it! I’m Quitting and I’m not coming back. I was Meant for greater things than working in this Pathetic place. Life is Passing me by. Lazlo: You can’t quit. You need the money and you have responsibilities, remember? Cassandra: I’ve Sacrificed enough for Security. I want To make a difference. I want … Читать далее

John Wagner, the oldest man in Buffalo-one hundred and four years old — recently walked a mile and a half in two weeks. He is as cheerful and bright as any of these other old men that charge around so persistently and tiresomely in the newspapers, and in every way as remarkable. Last November he … Читать далее

Server: Hello, I’m Allie and I’ll be your Server today. Here’s a menu. Can I take your Drink order? Joel: I’d like a glass of water with no ice. Server: Sure. Will that be Sparkling or Still? Joel: Uh, Tap. Server: Okay, one glass of tap water. Would you like anything else? We have Soda, … Читать далее

If you want to save souls, first you need to put folks in the pews. It works the same way with libraries, which — without patrons — are just large and imposing buildings full of dust and unread books, begging to be shut down by local officials the next time budgets are awash in red … Читать далее

Luisa: The Battery on my computer is almost Out of juice. Allesandro: Did you bring a Spare? Luisa: It’s a Rechargeable battery, so instead of replacing it, I need To plug it in, but there are no Outlets in here. Allesandro: I don’t see one either. Luisa: Forget it. I’ll just finish watching the movie … Читать далее

George: Did you call the Super about fixing the leaky faucet? Louise: I called him on Monday, but I haven’t Heard back yet. George: Well, call him again. This window is stuck and it won’t close. Louise: I’ll call him, but I think he’s avoiding our calls. George: He’s the worst super we’ve ever had. … Читать далее

Kindo: What’s that? Nookie: It’s my new E-book reader. I’m just Downloading some new books onto it. Kindo: I haven’t bought one yet. I’m Old school. I still prefer a Printed book. Nookie: But if you haven’t tried it yet, how do you know you wouldn’t like it better? This e-book reader can Store over … Читать далее

It’s true that I don’t like shopping. When I want to buy something, I do it Online. I like buying on the Internet because I can easily do some Comparison shopping And find the best price. It’s easy, too. Last week I wanted to buy some new Headphones. I did a search and found a … Читать далее

Isabelle: You can’t walk through that door with all of your clothes on! Linus: What?! I’ve just come off of a 12-hour flight. I’m tired and I want to get into my own house and into my own bed. Isabelle: I know, but you’ve just returned from McQuillanland and I’ve just read that anyone who … Читать далее

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my friends Steve and Liz, and I thought this would be a good weekend to drive up to Santa Barbara to see them. Gas prices have been Through the roof, but I decided to take the short road trip anyway. Before getting on the road, I went … Читать далее

Don: So how did your End-of-the-year review go? Becky: Oh, it was okay. I had my meeting with Mitch this morning and his Bottom line is that he thinks I need to Show more Initiative. He thinks that I need to start being more Creative. Don: Did he actually say that? Becky: Well, Not in … Читать далее

Ron: I’m only your Tax accountant, but let me give you a piece of advice. If you’re planning to start a business, you’ll want to carefully consider what type of Business entity you want to do business under. Marcela: Is that important? My parents ran a Mom-and-pop store for 40 years and they never had … Читать далее

Kiko: Figuring out how to fill out this Mortgage loan application is like trying to read a foreign language. I don’t know what all these terms mean. Rafael: Let’s see if we can figure it out together. I think we want a Fixed-rate mortgage, not an Adjustable-rate mortgage. We want To lock in a good … Читать далее

Robert: You look Exhausted. You Must have been out late last night having fun. Muriel: I wish. I’ve actually started Moonlighting. I’ve decided to go back to school and need the extra money To make ends meet. Robert: Good for you. That’s great. Where are you moonlighting? Muriel: I’m working at the university library. At … Читать далее

Gunther: I think this party has Run its course and I’m ready To call it a night. Maria: But there are still a few Stragglers who seem Reluctant to leave. How do we Politely tell them to go home? Gunther: I’ll just make an announcement. Maria: Wait! That seems kind of rude. Let me try … Читать далее

Jerome: This is a very dangerous Undertaking. Do you have a Backup plan if anything goes wrong? Sandy: It’ll work. I’ve come up with Contingencies for every possible Setback. Jerome: It’s just that I’d like to know we have some Recourse if anything goes wrong. Sandy: My plan is Foolproof. Failure is not an option. … Читать далее

Jim: I shouldn’t have let my brother pack my Supplies for this trip. I was running late and he offered to do it. Fumiko: What’s the problem? Jim: He Doesn’t know the first thing about Hiking or Camping. Look at this! My backpack is filled with bottles of water! Fumiko: What’s wrong with that? Jim: … Читать далее

The local Branch of my bank is located just a few Blocks from where I live. It’s very convenient, since it has four ATMs open 24/7. Today I had to go in to make a Deposit, but since I wanted to Cash a check as well, I needed to go inside to talk to a … Читать далее

Amy: Put a big bag of those potato chips in the basket. Giorgio: Have you read the Nutritional label on these chips? Amy: No, but look. This doesn’t have very much Saturated fat, Trans fat, or Sodium. Giorgio: Look at the Serving size. It’s three potato chips. How often do you stop at three chips? … Читать далее

My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started … Читать далее

Jonas: Hi, Jenny. Are you getting your kids ready for school, too? Jenny: Yes, as you can see, we’re buying lots of school supplies. Jonas: Did you get the school letter reminding parents to submit proof of Immunization before the first day of school? I know that your youngest is starting school this year. Jenny: … Читать далее

Charles: This is what I call The great outdoors. Look at that Stunning view! Rachel: This is truly Jaw-dropping. We’re in the middle of one of the most Pristine areas of the world where Wildlife lives in its Natural habitat. Charles: It’s almost like living in the middle of the Wilderness, isn’t it? I bet … Читать далее

Cho: I’m not sure I’m Cut out to be a doctor. Joy: I think you’ll be great. I’ve seen you with Patients and you have a great Bedside manner – not like Gregory. Cho: Why? What’s wrong with his bedside manner? Joy: I’ve seen him with patients and he can be really Callous. For instance, … Читать далее

Irma: Do you really think we’ll Be rescued? It’s been six hours and I’m Losing hope. Bert: It’s hard to say. I’m sure Search and rescue teams are looking for us as we speak. Irma: But what if they don’t come In time? We didn’t bring any Provisions and we’re almost out of water. Bert: … Читать далее

I love eating at All-you-can-eat buffets. It doesn’t matter what kind of food it is, I’m Up for it. Last week, I went to a High-end seafood buffet with my friends. We walked in and the Hostess seated us at a table. She asked if we wanted to order any drinks. Drinks other than water … Читать далее

Clerk: Can I help you find something? Adrian: Yes. Can you tell me where the Non-fiction Books are? Clerk: Are you looking for Hardbacks or Paperbacks? Adrian: I’m not sure. I think hardbacks. Clerk: Well, the non-fiction New releases are at the front of the store. The non-fiction section is behind the Fiction shelves on … Читать далее

Working in Public relations, I often have to deal with my clients’ Gaffes and Blunders. My job is to calm any Firestorm before it Gets out of hand. One of the most important things to do whenever there’s been a Misstep is to issue a Public apology. An apology should say Plainly and clearly that … Читать далее

Becky: I want to thank all of you for coming today. I think we all agree that we need to organize a Protest… Pedro: Hold on, Becky. We all want To voice our opinion that we Oppose what is going on here, but I’m not sure a protest is the answer. Becky: With all due … Читать далее

I was Absent at last month’s meeting, so imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been Elected the committee’s Secretary! As part of my duties, I have To take minutes at each meeting. Taking minutes means I have to pay attention and try my best To transcribe what each person says, or … Читать далее

I was on a date From hell. I agreed to go out with this guy who lives in the same apartment building as I do, but he’s turned out to be a real Creep. He was nice enough at the start of the date, but then he started drinking. Now he’s Drunk and I’m miserable. … Читать далее

Jamaica: I need To raise some cash right away. I’m thinking of Hocking a few things. You’ve used the Pawnshop down the street before, right? Nolan: Yeah, a few years ago when I lost my job. I needed a Short-term loan to tide me over until I could find a new one. Jamaica: Is the … Читать далее

I am come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion. Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence-whether much that is glorious — whether all that is profound-does not spring from disease of thought-from moods of mind … Читать далее

Jane: Hey, Henry. You look busy. What’s that you’re reading? Henry: Oh, hi, Jane. I’m studying the Driver’s manual so I can finally get my driver’s license. I just hope I can remember all these Traffic laws. Jane: I’m sure you’ll pass the tests With flying colors, especially since you can Miss a few and … Читать далее

I got two tickets to a Show at the last minute and I tried to find someone to go with me. First, I called Amanda. The phone Rang and rang and then her answering machine Picked up. «Hi, I’m not in right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon … Читать далее

My friend and I were at a restaurant waiting for our Dates to arrive. We sat at the bar and tried to Get The Bartender’s Attention to order a couple of drinks. My friend, Tanya, is very pretty. She is always being Hit on By men. So, It was no surprise that Five minutes after … Читать далее

Dennis: Oh, why did I Let my temper get the best of me? I never should have said those things to the new client! Nora: Don’t Freak out. I’m sure you didn’t do any damage that can’t be Rectified. It’s true that, In retrospect, you probably shouldn’t have called Nathan, the head of the project, … Читать далее

Dmitry: Stan is really Miffed at you. All of that Teasing at lunch really upset him. Charlene: What? I was just Poking fun at him for trying To hit on the new, young Receptionist. Dmitry: You called him an old goat. Charlene: I said that Tongue in cheek. If he didn’t find that funny, then … Читать далее

The «Red Death» had long devastated the country. No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous. Blood was its Avatar and its seal — the redness and the horror of blood. There were sharp pains, and sudden dizziness, and then profuse bleeding at the pores, with dissolution. The scarlet stains upon the body … Читать далее

Alice: I’m really glad I let you talk me into going for a bike ride. It’s been years since I’ve been on a Bicycle. Sam: This is the only way to travel. You get to really see the Scenery and enjoy the fresh air. Alice: Hey, watch out! You almost dropped into that huge pothole. … Читать далее

Ariel: I know you’ll give me the Inside scoop. What’s going on between Sam and Matt? Paolo: You’re asking the wrong person. Ariel: Don’t be like that. You know both of them really well, and I know that Sam Confides in you. Don’t you think Matt is being Unreasonable? Paolo: I really couldn’t say. Ariel: … Читать далее

Gisela: That smells wonderful! Danny: This is my family’s Recipe. The secret is in the combination of Seasonings we use. Gisela: I can see that. You must have 30 different Dried and fresh Herbs and Spices on this counter. Danny: To get a Bold flavor, we use a lot of Aromatic seeds, Barks, and Roots. … Читать далее

Heather: Hi, are you the Apartment manager? I saw the Vacancy sign outside and I’m looking for an apartment. Sam: Yes, I’m Sam. We have one Unit available right now. When are you looking To move in? Heather: The Lease on my apartment Is up soon, so I’d like to move in The first of … Читать далее

Ella: No matter what you say, I am not going out tonight. It’s Halloween and EvilThings are Lurking everywhere. Jimmy: Come on, it’s Halloween! It’s the holiday when kids get Dressed up and ask for candy. There is nothing evil or Creepy about this day. If you’re Scared stiff, it’s Your own doing. Ella: Don’t … Читать далее

I have a very Disorganized office. My co-workers have been making jokes about my office for a long time, and my boss finally Cracked down on me. He told me: “Get the office organized by Friday – no excuses!” What choice did I have? I’ve always been a Pack rat. I hate to throw anything … Читать далее

Andrea: This Organizational chart is really confusing. Raffael: Why are you looking at that? Andrea: I have an interview next week and I’m trying To bone up on the company I’ll be interviewing with. I want to impress them, but this chart is really confusing. Raffael: Let me see. It’s a simple Flow chart. You … Читать далее

The Hare was once boasting of his speed before the other animals. «I have never yet been beaten,» said he, «when I put forth my full speed. I challenge any one here to race with me.» The Tortoise said quietly, «I accept your challenge.» «That is a good joke,» said the Hare; «I could dance … Читать далее

Would you want to have a special Talent in something? Maybe as a musician or an athlete? I’m Of two minds about this. Sometimes I watch TV or read about someone who has a special talent. This was true during the Olympics. Some of those athletes I saw were very talented. Whether it was Playing … Читать далее