Texts

My roommate, Jim, invited me over to his house for a family meal. I’m an only child, so I’m not used to a big family dinner. I felt like a Fish out of water. … Jim’s mother: Sit down, everybody. Dinner’s ready. Phil: Thank you for Having me over, Mrs. Moreno. Jim’s mother: Don’t mention … Читать далее

I got a call yesterday from Amy, a co-worker from the office. She and I work in the same Department. We’ve had lunch at work a few times but I really didn’t know her that well. I was really glad she called. Kevin: Hello. Amy: Hi, Could I speak to Kevin? Kevin: This is Kevin. … Читать далее

Ingrid: I don’t mind lending you my Camera for the trip, but first, let me show you how to use it. Deng: No need to do that. I took a Photography class in high school, and I pretty much know all there is to know about taking pictures. Ingrid: Wasn’t that a long time ago? … Читать далее

Karen: My company offers a 401(k) plan. Do you think I should have one? Jimmy: Yes, definitely. I had a 401(k) account when I worked for McQ Corp, and when I started working on my own I converted it to an IRA. Karen: I really don’t understand any of these Investment options. I talked to … Читать далее

Tarik: Are you okay? Stacey: Yeah, I think so. I’m just a little Shaken up, but look at my car! Tarik: Mine is in pretty bad shape, too. Good thing, though, it wasn’t Totaled. Stacey: Okay, let’s exchange Insurance information, so we can both get out of here. Tarik: Right. I’ll Put in a claim … Читать далее

Blaire: Do you have any idea what he’s saying? Antonio: It’s Greek to me. You’re supposed to be the one who’s Fluent. Can’t you Make out what he’s saying? Blaire: I never said I was fluent. I said I could Get by in the language. There’s a big difference. Antonio: Why don’t you try saying … Читать далее

Marion: I’m trying to decide whether to get Cable or Satellite TV. Which one do you have at your apartment? Cesar: I have satellite, but I used to have cable. Marion: What’s the difference? Cesar: Not a lot. With satellite, you have to have a Satellite dish installed on the roof and you don’t with … Читать далее

In the summer of 1874 I was in Liverpool, whither I had gone on business for the mercantile house of Bronson & Jarrett, New York. I am William Jarrett; my partner was Zenas Bronson. The firm failed last year, and unable to endure the fall from affluence to poverty he died. Having finished my business, … Читать далее

Courtney: Did you hear? Kate and Christopher are trying to Annul their marriage. Ray: What?! They’ve only been married for two months! What brought this on? Courtney: I have no idea. Neither of them is Underage or Bigamists and they married Of their own free will, so I don’t know how they can ask for … Читать далее

Oscar: How are you adjusting to being a Single parent? Penny: It hasn’t been easy, but Paul and I are trying to be as Civil as possible. We worked out Joint custody so that Mina will get Quality time with both of us. Still, it’s been an Adjustment for her. Oscar: I’m sure, and for … Читать далее

Gary: Hey, over here. I’m glad you could make it. This place has a great Happy hour. Let me get the waitress, Brenda, so we can order our drinks. Shanise: Hi, Gary. You sound like a Regular. Do you come here a lot? Gary: Yeah, I like Stopping by on my way home Now and … Читать далее

Alisa: Don’t be Mad. Sabir: I’m not mad. Alisa: Yes, you are. I’m sorry. I Admit it was my Fault. Will you stop Moping now? Sabir: I’m not moping. I’m giving you the Silent treatment. Alisa: I knew it! You’re still Peeved at me. What can I do To make it up to you? Sabir: … Читать далее

Vera: How do these pants look on me? Wang: Uh, aren’t they a little too Tight? They look like they’re Cutting off circulation in your legs. Vera: They’re a little Snug, but they Show off my curves, don’t they? Wang: I suggest Going up a size. Something a little less Form fitting would be a … Читать далее

Hugo: How do you like working with Leo? Is it Working out? Melissa: No, it’s not. Our Work styles completely Clash and we Butt heads at every turn. Hugo: Really? I thought you were Partnered up because you Complemented each other’s Strengths. Melissa: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can work well together. I’m Collaborative … Читать далее

This year, our family decided that The more the merrier and invited Adriano and his family to have Christmas dinner with us. We were Thrilled when they accepted our invitation. Lucy: I’m so glad you guys could all make it. Adriano: We wouldn’t have missed it for anything. We brought a Fruitcake. Lucy: Oh, thanks. … Читать далее

Greg: Where are you going? Anne: I’m going to see another doctor to get a Second opinion. My doctor Diagnosed me with a serious Medical condition and I don’t want To take it at face value. Greg: You’re Second-guessing your doctor? Anne: No, I just want to make sure he’s right. He’s also recommending a … Читать далее

I have a day job, but I recently started a small business On the side. I didn’t know anything about Accounting and my friend, Roland, said he would give me some advice. Roland: So, the reason that you need to do your Bookkeeping is so you can manage your Cash flow. Even if you have … Читать далее

Victor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted … Читать далее

Kevin: I know a lot of people are doing it, but I’m not so sure about trying an Internet dating service. Eun: What do you have to lose? This website says that it Screens all of its members. Let’s look at some of the Profiles. Kevin: All right. We have to select the Criteria for … Читать далее

Allen: Are you all right? Monica: Yes, we’re fine, but that Blizzard really Caught us off guard, especially this time of year. Have you seen the news? Allen: I just watched it. Overnight, the storm Felled over 30 trees in and around the town and Toppled utility lines. City officials are saying that some Residents … Читать далее

Teresa: Hey, where are you going? We have a meeting in 10 minutes. Adrian: I’m sorry. I’m going to have To postpone. I’m in the middle of Putting out fires and I’ve had To clear my schedule to deal with the latest Crisis. Teresa: Can I help? Adrian: I wish you could. With the new … Читать далее

Gabby: Another birthday! I’m going to stop celebrating. What’s there to celebrate – getting old and Decrepit? Cherif: Are you kidding me? We’re In the prime of our lives. Who’s decrepit? I’m not. Gabby: If I’m in my prime, then why do I feel so Middle age? Cherif: It’s a matter of Perspective. It’s true … Читать далее

Sue: This medication I’m taking is Messing with my Vision. Everything is Blurry. Hamed: That’s a good reason for you to stay home from work today. Sue: I can’t. I have to give a presentation this afternoon and I can’t Flake out on my coworkers. Hamed: What good are you to them if you’re Blind … Читать далее

Security Chief: Okay, people. We’ve just had a report of a Missing child on this property. We need to find him fast. I want you two To search Every room in this building. Look in Every nook and cranny. Ramona: Excuse me, may I ask a question? Security Chief: You can when I’m done. Now … Читать далее

Gabriel Gale was energetically painting a new sign for the Rising Sun Inn when his attention was engaged by a new arrival, Diana Westermaine. The lady was tall and dark, and Gale looked at her steadily and rather longer than is strictly polite-but painters are absent-minded. When he left off looking at her, she began … Читать далее

Leandro: When you said you got a Plum job working abroad, I thought you were going to Europe or Asia. Where exactly is Hueller Island? Alysson: It’s in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Here, I’ll show you on the Map. Leandro: Wow, I had no idea you’d be working in such a Far-flung place. … Читать далее

Joey: I’ve had it! I’m not going to Take it anymore. Rachel: What’s the matter? Joey: I’m sick and tired of Being the butt of Chandler’s Practical jokes. One of these days, he’s really going to get someone hurt. Rachel: Oh, no. What has he done now? Joey: I went back to my office after … Читать далее

Emily: I think Jackson is Depressed. Shivan: How can you tell? Emily: Well, he’s been Suffering from a Loss of appetite and is generally Lethargic. Shivan: Have you noticed any other Symptoms? Emily: He seems to have trouble Concentrating and has Insomnia. Shivan: Um, really? Emily: Yes, and I’m afraid he’s having Suicidal thoughts. He … Читать далее

I’ve been trying To set up my good friend, Rachid, with one of my single girlfriends, but I still wasn’t too sure what his Type would be. Tamara: So, tell me what you’re looking for in a woman. Rachid: She has to be Rich and Hot! Tamara: Come on! Be serious. Rachid: Okay, okay, but … Читать далее

Lucy: Jeff, Here’s a question. I was Just talking to Dawn. You know, they had their first Wedding anniversary last week. Guess what her husband gave her as a present. Jeff: I don’t know. What? Lucy: He gave her a Vacuum cleaner. Jeff: Didn’t she want a vacuum cleaner? Lucy: Yes, the old one was … Читать далее

Jeannie: Have you heard about the new Management dispute? Salih: No, what’s happening? Jeannie: Well, the CEO is having problems with the head of one of the Subsidiaries. Salih: Which one? Jeannie: Lance Publishing. Apparently, the head, Bill Riker, is saying that he and the CEO differ too much in their Business philosophy and they … Читать далее

Cesar: I Can’t catch a break. Everything seems To be going wrong these days. Olga: Maybe your Streak of bad Luck is because you did something unlucky. Cesar: What do you mean? Olga: Have you walked under a Ladder or Crossed paths with a black cat lately? Cesar: I don’t think so, but I’m not … Читать далее

Lucinda: You look tired. Are you all right? Elan: I’m fine. It’s this Clinical trial I’m Enrolled in. I’m Suffering from some Side effects. Lucinda: Are they serious? Elan: No, they’re not too bad. I was told to expect some Adverse reactions in the first weeks of the Pilot study. I guess that’s why only … Читать далее

Bethany: I just talked to Steve about hiring Replacements for Cyril, who quit last month and for Megan, who is leaving at the end of this week. Do you know what he told me? He doesn’t want to hire Permanent replacements. He wants To make do with Temps! Enrique: I can see it from Steve’s … Читать далее

Martha: Oh, I have a Toothache! George: It sounds like you’re In for a visit to the Dentist. Martha: That would be the Last resort. I hate going to the dentist. I don’t like needles and the sound of the Drill scares me to death. I’m hoping the toothache will just go away. George: You … Читать далее

Russ: Why are you Wheezing like that? Cheryl: I’m not wheezing. I’m just a little Short of breath. My Lungs feel like they’ve Closed up. Russ: Maybe you should Get that checked out. You could have Asthma. Cheryl: Do you really think so? My Nasal passages have been Stopped up, so I just thought I … Читать далее

The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said, «I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin.» So the Sun … Читать далее

Ahmed: Have you heard the news? Menna: The Nations of Palicia and Isram have signed a Peace treaty. This means that there will be an immediate Ceasefire and an end to Hostilities. This is a Historic day! Ahmed: I never thought I’d live to see this day. Has everything been Settled? Menna: Only the most … Читать далее

Narin: This car is amazing. Daniel: I know. It has every Luxury option available. Narin: This Sumptuous interior is so comfortable. Daniel: You haven’t seen anything yet. It has a Climate control system for every seat and a Voice-activated entertainment system. It also has the best Navigation system money can buy. Let me turn this … Читать далее

Lily: Thanks for coming with me to meet the Rental agent to view an Apartment, but I think I’m Lost. I’m supposed to be there in 10 minutes, but I can’t find it. There are four different Apartment complexes located next to each other and they look Identical. Omid: Don’t you have the address? Lily: … Читать далее

Bethany: Where is everybody? Nathan: While you were in the bathroom, the other guys left. Bethany: In that case, I should go, too. It’s getting late. Nathan: The night is young. Let me get you a Refill. Bethany: No, I really shouldn’t have another drink. I had a Neat drink after dinner and I’m still … Читать далее

Danielle: They’re At it again. Those college kids next door are having another Kegger. Nabil: That’s what we get for buying a house this close to a college. College students will have keggers and they’ll Binge drink. It’s a Rite of passage. Danielle: It’s dangerous to their health and a Menace to the neighborhood, and … Читать далее

The holidays in my family are very Diverse. Our Custom is to celebrate Christmas every year as a Religious observance, complete with Advent wreathes and Midnight Mass. Most of my In-laws observe Christmas Purely as a Secular holiday, with the focus on Exchanging gifts, stockings, A Christmas tree, and other traditional customs. There is a … Читать далее

Gisele: Our phone has been Ringing off the hook all weekend. What’s the deal? Nobu: I think it’s Jeanine. Gisele: Jeanine…Jeanine…Is that the woman you’ve been Going out with? Nobu: Yeah, it’s her. I tried To let her down easy, but she’s not Taking the hint. Gisele: I see. That’s why you’ve been Screening calls. … Читать далее

Armond: I hope that this new year will bring me better luck. Patricia: You can find that out easily enough. My Astrologer says… Armond: Hold on. You Consult an astrologer? You really believe in that Nonsense? Patricia: It’s not nonsense and, yes, I believe in it. I like getting Predictions about the future and knowing … Читать далее

Gilles: Hey, what are you looking at? Nora: Oh, these? They’re pictures from my trip Back home last month. Gilles: Let’s have a look. So, who’s this? Nora: That’s my sister and that’s my Cousin Keira. Gilles: Your sister Looks nothing like you. You’re Fair and she has dark hair and dark eyes. Now, you … Читать далее

Abby: Hey, what are you listening to? Bill: Right now I’m listening to the Foo Fighters’ latest Album. There are some really good Tracks on this CD, including their new Single. Abby: Let me see Your iPod for a minute. It looks like you’ve got a Ton of good stuff Loaded up. I like Gwen … Читать далее

Mike: You have a great voice. You should join our Choir. Grace: I don’t know anything about music. I can’t even Read music. Mike: It’s not that hard. I could teach you. Look, this is a Piece we’re working on right now. Grace: What’s that weird thing at the beginning? Mike: That’s the Clef. It … Читать далее

Jeremy: Hello. Miranda: Hi, it’s me. I can’t make it home for dinner tonight. I’m working Overtime. Jeremy: Again? That’s the third time this week. I can’t believe your boss is making you do this. Miranda: Don’t get mad, but I actually told him that I Didn’t mind. I know I’ve been working Long hours, … Читать далее

I was On my way to an interview and there was a lot of Traffic on the road. I got to the office In the nick of time For my appointment. I walked into the Lobby of the building and looked at the Directory. I saw that Casey Enterprises was on the Penthouse floor and … Читать далее