Characteristics of an Ideal Mate

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1. Watching Competitive Sports Bruno: Hey, what are you doing? Give me back that Remote! Tamara: The movie I want to watch is on right now. Do you mind? Bruno: Of course I mind! I’m watching the Playoffs. Can’t you see that? Tamara: The playoffs? Oh, I’ll watch with you. Bruno: You? You don’t know anything about sports. Tamara: […]...
2. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
3. Short gender jokes A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more […]...
4. Finding Other Singles I was tired of being Single. All of my friends had Paired up and I was Left hanging. Like everybody else these days, I tried using the Internet to find other singles, but I never had any luck. Cruising for my ideal woman among a bunch of Lonely hearts is like looking for a Needle […]...
5. Women’s instructions WOMEN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So […]...
6. Conversation over dinner Conversation over dinner: WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not – don’t you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn’t you remarry? MAN: Okay, I’d get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) […]...
7. While enjoying a drink with a mate one night While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into […]...
8. Dating a Younger Man/Woman Tadashi: Was that Diane you were talking to Just now? Helen: Yeah, do you know her? Tadashi: Diane and I Used to work together. She looked happy. Helen: Yeah, she’s dating a new man. I just got The scoop. He’s not her usual Type. Tadashi: What do you mean? Helen: Well, he’s a little younger […]...
9. Dating a Possessive Person Eliana: You’re here! I didn’t think you’d be able to come. Matt: Why? I like seeing a movie with my friends As much as the next guy. Eliana: Yeah, but it’s been weeks since we’ve seen you, ever since you started dating Helen. Matt: She doesn’t Own me. She’s a little Possessive, but I Put […]...
10. Перевод слова match Match – ровня, пара, подходить, сочетать; матч Перевод слова He’s no match for her – он ей не пара they are a good match – они подходят друг другу to match well – точно соответствовать to match colours – подбирать цвета to match images – совмещать изображения These colours don’t Match. Эти цвета плохо сочетаются. […]...
11. Types and Characteristics of Apartments Lily: Thanks for coming with me to meet the Rental agent to view an Apartment, but I think I’m Lost. I’m supposed to be there in 10 minutes, but I can’t find it. There are four different Apartment complexes located next to each other and they look Identical. Omid: Don’t you have the address? Lily: […]...
12. Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat […]...
13. Перевод слова single Single – один, одинокий, одиночный, единственный Перевод слова A single purpose – единственная цель a single eye-glass – монокль young singles – несемейная молодежь a single tree – одиноко стоящее дерево Are you married, Single, or divorced? Вы замужем, одиноки или разведены? Being Single is not a crime. Быть холостым – не преступление. The police […]...
14. Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
15. Перевод слова narrow Narrow – узкий, тесный Перевод слова Narrow-minded bigot – узколобый фанатик narrow interests – узкие интересы narrow foxy face – узкое лисье лицо You’ve got a very Narrow view of life. У тебя очень ограниченный взгляд на жизнь. The city’s ancient streets are too Narrow for buses. Старинные улицы города слишком узкие для автобусов. The […]...
16. Types of Students in School Cheech: Is this your old Yearbook? Boo: Yeah, I found it while cleaning out my closet. Cheech: Look at your picture! You look like you were an Honor roll student. Boo: Don’t be fooled. I was just an average student, not the Valedictorian, but not a Dropout either. Cheech: Who is that? She’s very pretty. […]...
17. Значение идиомы make a match [make a match] {v. phr.} To bring a man and woman together for thepurpose of an engagement or marriage. Sheila’s aunt is anxious tomake a match between her and an attractive, wealthy man....
18. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
19. Traveling for Singles Ray: I have a great idea for your next vacation. You should go on a Singles cruise. Samantha: I’m not going on a singles cruise. Everybody will be On the make. Ray: That’s the point, isn’t it? You can Take your pick of single guys. What could be better? Samantha: I’m not interested in having […]...
20. Talking About Attractive Men and Women Pamela: You know that your tongue is hanging out of your mouth, right? David: That’s because I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one place before. Why have I never been to this beach before? Look at her! She’s a Hottie! Pamela: Isn’t that what you said about that woman over there? David: No, […]...
21. Marriage quotes 03 There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!” Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a […]...
22. Zeppelin voted ‘ideal supergroup’ The four members of Led Zeppelin have been voted the UK’s ideal supergroup, with Robert Plant beating the late Freddie Mercury to best singer. About 3,500 music fans were polled for Planet Rock Radio and were asked to create their fantasy band. Jimmy Page won best guitarist, followed by Guns N’ Roses’ Slash and Deep […]...
23. Whoah! Single men wash their sheets’four times a year’ It’s a discovery no woman wants to hear – the average single male changes his sheets just four times a year. While they strip their beds every 3.1 months on average, unattached women change their linen every two-and-a-half weeks – or 26 times a year – a survey found. The grubbiest group for keeping sheets […]...
24. The Blind Date I Broke up With my boyfriend last month. We had Gone out for a year and I was ready to Settle down. But, I could tell that he still wanted to Play the field before getting married. I don’t think Don ever Cheated on Me, but I finally realized that he wasn’t The Marrying type. […]...
25. Перевод слова mate Mate – помощник, приятель, товарищ Перевод слова I say, mate! – послушай, приятель! machinist’s mate – помощник машиниста cook’s mate – помощник кока What’s the time, Mate? Который час, приятель? I told my Mates some of these facts on returning. По возвращении я рассказал моим приятелям о некоторых из этих фактов. The first Mate was […]...
26. Attracting Someone’s Interest Angie: Ooh, it looks like Joanna Has her sights set on you. Look at how she’s Giving you the eye. Kenji: Is she? I hadn’t noticed. Angie: Watch out, she usually gets what she wants and she Doesn’t take no for an answer. Kenji: I’m not interested in Joanna At all. She’s not My type. […]...
27. Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, […]...
28. Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. “Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then […]...
29. A perfect choice A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn’t find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds: Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won’t […]...
30. A Good Listener Woman: Hi, Long time no see. How have you been? Man: Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son. Woman: Tell me all about it. Man: Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit Secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think […]...
31. Picking a Fight I was sitting at my local bar waiting for my friends to arrive to watch the game. Two guys sitting a few seats away kept giving me strange looks, and one of them said, “What are you looking at?” I looked around to make sure that he was speaking to me, and before I could […]...
32. Перевод слова type Type – тип, разновидность, классифицировать; печатать Перевод слова Modern type of a man – современный тип человека types of speech – виды речи she typed him a hero – она отнесла его к разряду героев to type a letter – напечатать на машинке письмо It is a Type of many. Это типично для многих. Have […]...
33. Avoiding Topics in Conversation Lila: Why aren’t you dating? I have so many friends who would love to go out with you. George: Let’s Change the subject. Talking about my Love life isn’t very interesting. Lila: But really, you’re not getting any younger and… George: Moving on! Have you seen any good movies lately? Lila: Listen, all of your […]...
34. Darling, she whispered after they had finished making love “Darling,” she whispered after they had finished making love, “Will you still make love like that to me after we’re married?” He considered this for a moment, and then replied, “I think so. I’ve always been especially fond of married women.”...
35. Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. “I call my man ‘Eight,’ ” said the first woman, “Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.” The second woman said in response, “I call my […]...
36. These two guys had just gotten divorces These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s […]...
37. A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m […]...
38. Asking for Information About a Coworker Amina: What’s the Lowdown on the new guy? Earl: Which new guy? Amina: You know, the cute one. Fill me in. Is he single? Earl: I don’t know. I have no idea. Amina: You’re working with him side-by-side and you haven’t Gleaned any personal information about him? Earl: We talk about work. It’s not my […]...
39. My ideal day В топике Мой идеальный день – я хотела бы поделиться своими мечтами о том, каким мог быть мой самый прекрасный день, ведь ни для кого не секрет, что все люди устают от спешки и суеты, а хороший отдых поможет восстановить силы. Главное, чтобы в ваш идеальный день вам никто не мешал, и вы смогли бы […]...
40. Three guys are discussing women Three guys are discussing women. “I like to watch a woman’s tits best,” the first guy says. The second says “I like to look at a woman’s ass.” He asks the third guy “What about you?”. “Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.”...