A Practical Joke

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1. Eating Contaminated Food Rachel: This tastes Funny. Sergey: It’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. Rachel: It tastes like it’s Tainted or something. Don’t you Detect a funny Metallic taste? Sergey: No, it’s perfectly fine. Just eat it. Rachel: I swear there’s something Off about this food. I’m not eating Adulterated food. There’s probably Poison in here and […]...
2. Practical Joke A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the […]...
3. Playing a Practical Joke Patricia: What are you doing? Luis: I’m setting up a Practical joke for Bobby. I Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he walks outside and finds his bike In pieces. It’ll be the best Prank ever! Patricia: You’re not really going to take apart his bike, are you? Luis: I’ll Let […]...
4. Значение идиомы get stuck [get stuck] {v. phr.} 1. To be victimized; be cheated. TheSmiths sure got stuck when they bought that secondhand car; it brokedown just two days after they got it. 2. To become entrapped orembroiled in a physical, emotional, or social obstacle so as to beunable to free oneself. Last winter our car got stuck in […]...
5. Welcoming a Houseguest Yousef: Why are you Rearranging the furniture? Rachel: My Aunt Susan called and she’s coming for a visit. It’ll be so nice to see her. It’s been a while since we’ve had a Houseguest. Yousef: Your crazy Aunt Susan? The one who Talks to herself all the time and makes funny noises? Rachel: Don’t be […]...
6. Negotiating Price Justin: Hello. Rachel: Hi, Justin. It’s Rachel from McQ Corp. Justin: Oh hi, Rachel. Did you get our Bid for the job? Rachel: Yes, we did. We like your proposal, but we still need To come to terms on the price. Justin: We’ve already given you our Rock-bottom price because we want to get this […]...
7. Cooking a Meal Emeril: Can you hand me that Pan? Rachel: This Pot? Emeril: No, that pan over there. I need To pan-fry these vegetables. Rachel: Wouldn’t be healthier if we Steamed the vegetables or Grilled them? Emeril: Maybe, but for this meal, I’m frying them in this pan. Rachel: Okay, do you want me To heat this […]...
8. A circumcision Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from school. Danny says “I won’t be going to school tomorrow.” “Why not?” asks Joey. “I have to go to the hospital,” says Danny woefully. “That’s awful,” says Joey. “Why do you have to go there? Are you sick?” Danny shakes his head and […]...
9. The first Jewish woman President is elected The first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: “Mama, I’ve won the elections, you’ve got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.” “I don’t know, what would I wear?” “Don’t worry, I’ll send you a dressmaker” “But I only eat kosher food” “Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get […]...
10. Значение идиомы pants [pants] See: ANTS IN ONE’S PANTS, CATCH ONE WITH ONE’S PANTS DOWN, FANCY PANTS, FLY BY THE SEAT OF ONE’S PANTS, GET THE LEAD OUT OF ONE’spanTS, KICK IN THE PANTS, WEAR THE TROUSERS or WEAR THE PANTS....
11. Enjoying Nature Charles: This is what I call The great outdoors. Look at that Stunning view! Rachel: This is truly Jaw-dropping. We’re in the middle of one of the most Pristine areas of the world where Wildlife lives in its Natural habitat. Charles: It’s almost like living in the middle of the Wilderness, isn’t it? I bet […]...
12. Jokes about Ireland 2 Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Joey-Jim asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” he replied with relief. “I thought I’d […]...
13. Good Hygiene Juanita: Hey, where have you been? I was going to invite you to lunch, but you weren’t at your desk. Bill: I was at a Training. Juanita: What was it on? Bill: Office Hygiene. Juanita: Hygiene? You’re kidding. Your office is pretty Messy but I wouldn’t say you needed hygiene training. Bill: Very funny. Each […]...
14. Liberal and Conservative News Bill: Why are you reading that Rag? Rachel: I enjoy reading it. I like its News coverage and its Incisive commentaries. Bill: That’s nothing but a Liberal propaganda rag. You can’t believe a thing they Print in there. Rachel: That’s not true. The news stories are Objective and Unbiased. This magazine isn’t like the newspapers […]...
15. Значение идиомы mama’s boy [mama’s boy] {n. phr.}, {informal} A boy who depends too much onhis mother; a sissy. The other boys called Tommy a mama’s boybecause he wouldn’t come out to play unless his mother stayed nearhim....
16. The Cesium song 08 ‘Lectropositive Mama (tune, Lady Madonna) ‘Letropositive mama, Cesium on your meat, Wonder how you manage, To stay on your feet. How d’ya stand the smokin’? How d’ya ‘bide the flame? Do you think that life’s just A burnin’ game. Monday night your hunger’s a blue fire, Tuesday morn’ you’re cookin’ ‘fore the sun. Wednesday raivn, […]...
17. Soldier stands guard A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?” The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General […]...
18. Перевод слова chair Chair – стул, трон Перевод слова Cane chair – плетеный стул easy chair – удобный стул rocking chair – кресло-качалка He sat down in a Chair. Он сел в кресло. A Chair made of cedar. Стул сделанный из кедра. I’ll get you a Chair. Я принесу вам стул....
19. Перевод идиомы inside joke, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: inside joke Перевод: шутка, известная только ограниченному кругу лиц (внутри какой-либо компании, среди друзей, и т. п.) Пример: That must be an inside joke, because it’s not funny at all. Это, должно быть, какая-то местная шутка, потому что мне совсем не смешно....
20. Types of Story Endings Hamid: I just finished a really good book. I thought the characters were Headed toward a Tragic ending, but there was a Twist near the end, and everything turned out well. It was so Satisfying! Rachel: It sounds Sappy to me. Hamid: It wasn’t sappy at all. It was just a happy ending. I know […]...
21. Without a Christmas bonus Ten signs you’re not getting a christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as “the ghost of unemployment future” 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call “my new […]...
22. Перевод слова terrible Terrible – ужасный, кошмарный, жуткий Перевод слова Terrible flirt – ужасная кокетка terrible nightmare – страшный сон terrible ordeal – ужасное испытание Rick’s a Terrible gossip. Рик ужасный сплетник. A Terrible rage possessed her. Страшный гнев овладел ею. His death will be a Terrible blow. Его смерть будет страшным ударом....
23. Значение идиомы funny bone [funny bone] {n.} 1. The place at the back of the elbow that hurtslike electricity when accidentally hit. He hit his funny bone onthe arm of the chair. 2. or {informal} [crazy bone] Sense of humor;understanding jokes. Her way of telling the story tickled his funnybone....
24. Some practical jokes Smaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either […]...
25. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
26. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
27. Перевод идиомы a mummy’s boy / a mama’s boy / a mother’s boy, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: a mummy’s boy / a mama’s boy / a mother’s boy Идиома: a mummy’s boy / a mama’s boy / a mother’s boy Перевод: маменькин сынок Пример: Andrew’s a bit of a mummy’s boy. He finished with his girlfriend because his mother disapproved. В Эндрю есть повадки маменькина сынка. Он расстался со своей девушкой […]...
28. One night, at the lodge of a hunting club One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, “See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire – place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you’ll never forget.” […]...
29. Gone fishing Henry Abel’s son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything. His Mama asked him what the problem was. “Pop and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.” “Now come on, David,” his mother said, “a big boy […]...
30. Donating an Organ Christine: What is this Sticker on your Driver’s license? Saul: This sticker? It Indicates that I’ve signed up for the Organ donation program. If anything bad happens to me, I want my organs to go to Recipients who need them. Christine: You mean you want somebody else to have your Heart, Liver… Saul: …eyes, Kidneys, […]...
31. Types of Pants Josh: We are going to get you out of those Baggy sweatpants and into some pants that fit. Kayla: I don’t like pants that are too Formfitting. Josh: I’m not suggesting you buy Skintight leggings, but some nice Slacks would be Slimming. Kayla: I like pants with an Elastic waistband. They’re more comfortable. Josh: Just […]...
32. Перевод слова funny Funny – забавный, смешной, странный Перевод слова Funny story – анекдот, смешная история extremely funny – чрезвычайно смешной, уморительный funny face – забавный вид That’s one Funny boy. Он очень забавный. What’s that Funny smell? Что за странный запах? I see this as diabolically Funny. По-моему, это ужасно смешно....
33. Get some of this Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get’s her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: “This is too good to pass up,” gets off his […]...
34. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
35. Значение идиомы stuck on [stuck on] {slang} Very much in love with; crazy about. Judythinks she is very pretty and very smart. She is stuck on herself. Lucy is stuck on the football captain....
36. Dealing With the Heat Jolene: I’m Sweating like a pig. When is this Heat wave going to end? Eric: I’ve no idea, but I’m Not moving a muscle until it does. Hand me that Pitcher of iced tea, would you? Jolene: Get it yourself. I’m not moving until it Drops below 80 Degrees. Eric: It’s not the Temperature. It’s […]...
37. Love Jesus By Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light […]...
38. Avoiding Topics in Conversation Lila: Why aren’t you dating? I have so many friends who would love to go out with you. George: Let’s Change the subject. Talking about my Love life isn’t very interesting. Lila: But really, you’re not getting any younger and… George: Moving on! Have you seen any good movies lately? Lila: Listen, all of your […]...
39. Значение идиомы catch with one’s pants down [catch with one’s pants down] {v. phr.}, {slang} To surprise someone in an embarrassing position or guilty act. They thought they could succeed in the robbery, but they got caught with their pants down. When the weather turned hot in May, the drive-in restaurant was caught with its pants down, and ran out of ice […]...
40. Trying to Get Off the Phone Erin: So I told Joey that I had no Intention of letting him use my car again. Can you believe The nerve of that guy, after what he did? Curran: That’s terrible, but I’m going to have To let you go. I have an appointment… Erin: But I didn’t tell you what else he said. […]...