You might be a redneck if 09

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1. You might be a redneck if 10 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?” (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve […]...
2. Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest […]...
3. You might be a redneck if 06 You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are “Attention K-Mart shoppers.” The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from […]...
4. You might be a redneck if 05 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!” Your family tree […]...
5. You might be a redneck if 04 You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part […]...
6. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...
7. Banjo Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you’re playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of […]...
8. You might be a redneck if 02 You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it […]...
9. You might be a redneck if 01 You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not […]...
10. You might be a redneck if 03 You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his […]...
11. You might be a redneck if 07 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. […]...
12. You might be a redneck if 08 You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since “Smokey and the Bandit” was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least […]...
13. Перевод слова instrument Instrument – инструмент, прибор, орудие Перевод слова Precision instruments – точные приборы instrument panel – пульт управления an instrument of fate – орудие судьбы to play an instrument – играть на музыкальном инструменте Did you use to sing or play an Instrument? Ты раньше пел или играл? The Church is the Instrument of man’s salvation. […]...
14. Перевод слова beef Beef – говядина, мясо Перевод слова Horse beef – конина beef broth – говяжий бульон ground beef – говяжий фарш This is a good lean cut of Beef. Это хороший нежирный кусок говядины. OK, so what’s the Beef this time? Ладно, так что за говядина на этот раз? The Beef was overdone. Говядина была пережарена. […]...
15. Next US President A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: “I’d like to become the next President of the United States.” The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?” Redneck: “Why, is it required?”...
16. I wrote it! There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, “I’ve never seen you in her before.” The guy says, “Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing […]...
17. Sexually active A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,”IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?” THE REDNECK SAYS,”NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
18. Значение идиомы muscle in on [muscle in on] {v. phr.} To intrude; penetrate; force oneself intoanother’s business or territory. The eastern Mafia muscled in onthe western Mafia’s turf and a shooting war was started....
19. Перевод слова song Song – песня, песнь Перевод слова The song of praise – хвалебная песнь prick song – дразнилка give us a song – спойте нам что-нибудь evergreen song – песня на все времена The Song is 24 bars long. В этой песне 24 такта. He sang a love Song. Он пел песню о любви. She whistled […]...
20. A preacher was completing a temperance sermon A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” […]...
21. Перевод слова musical Musical – музыкальный, мелодичный Перевод слова Musical genius – гениальный музыкант musical voice – мелодичный голос musical acoustics – музыкальная акустика Mozart was a Musical prodigy. Моцарт был музыкальным вундеркином. Musical ability runs in my family. В нашей семье ярко выражены музыкальные способности. His work seemed to many a new Musical idiom. Многим казалось, что […]...
22. Значение идиомы ask for the moon [ask for the moon] or [cry for the moon] {v. phr.} To want something that you cannot reach or have; try for the impossible. John asked his mother for a hundred dollars today. He’s always asking for the moon. Compare: PROMISE THE MOON....
23. Перевод слова chain Chain – цепь, череда, гряда Перевод слова Watch and chain – часы с цепочкой in chains – в оковах hotel chain – сеть гостиниц She had a gold Chain around her neck. У нее была Золотая цепочка на шее. Of course the dog makes such a noise, the poor creature is Chained up all day. […]...
24. Значение идиомы minority leader [minority leader] {n. phr.} The leader of the political party thathas fewer votes in a legislative house. The minority leader of theSenate supported the bill. The minority leader in the House ofRepresentatives held a caucus. Compare: MAJORITY LEADER....
25. Значение идиомы chain-smoke [chain-smoke] {v.} To smoke cigarettes or cigars one after another without stopping. Mr. Jones is very nervous. He chain-smokes cigars. [chain smoker] {n.} Mr. Jones is a chain smoker. [chain-smoking] {adj.} or {n.} Chain-smoking is very dangerous to health....
26. Значение идиомы dark of the moon [dark of the moon] {n. phr.}, {literary} A time when the moon is not shining or cannot be seen. It was the dark of the moon when the scouts reached camp and they had to use flashlights to find their tents. Contrast: FULL OF THE MOON....
27. Перевод слова moon Moon – луна Перевод слова Full-faced moon – полная луна half moon – половина луны, полумесяц harvest moon – полнолуние, ближайшее к дню осеннего равноденствия The Moon wanes. Луна убывает. The Moon is fulling now. Луна приближается к полнолунию. Jupiter has sixteen Moons У Юпитера шестнадцать лун. Интересные факты “Луна 2112” (в оригинале – Moon) […]...
28. Значение идиомы majority leader [majority leader] {n.} The leader of the political party with themost votes in a legislative house. The majority leader of the Houseof Representatives tried to get the members of his party to supportthe bill. Compare: MINORITY LEADER....
29. Значение идиомы full of the moon [full of the moon] {n. phr.}, {literary} The moon when it is seenas a full circle; the time of a full moon. The robbers waited for adark night when the full of the moon was past. Contrast: DARK OF THEMOON....
30. Значение идиомы promise the moon [promise the moon] {v. phr.} To promise something impossible. Apolitician who promises the moon during a campaign loses the voters’respect. I can’t promise you the moon, but I’ll do the best job Ican. Compare: ASK FOR THE MOON....
31. Buying Food at the Concession Stand Jim: We only have three minutes before the movie starts. You Grab two seats and I’ll Hit the Concession stand. … Suki: Can I help you? Jim: Yes, I’d like a large Popcorn and a Hot dog with The works. Suki: Anything else? Jim: Yes, I’ll also take an order of Nachos and a Pretzel. […]...
32. Перевод слова leader Leader – лидер, вождь, глава, руководитель Перевод слова The leader of an expedition – глава, руководитель экспедиции spiritual leader – духовный лидер opposition leader – лидер оппозиции He’s got all the qualities to be a Leader. У него есть все качества, необходимые для того, чтобы стать лидером. Sol was the Leader of the pack. Сол […]...
33. Chain Letter Type lI Chain Letter Type lI: Make a wish!!! (This is where you have to scroll down) Really, go on and make one wish!!! Oh please, s/he’ll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!! Not *that* either, you pervert!! Is your finger getting tired yet? You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!! Wasn’t that fun? Hope you made […]...
34. Значение идиомы close ranks [close ranks] {v. phr.} 1. To come close together in a line especially for fighting. The soldiers closed ranks and kept the enemy away from the bridge. 2. To stop quarreling and work together; unite and fight together. The Democrats and Republicans closed ranks to win the war. The leader asked the people to close […]...
35. Arkansas Mother Writes Her Son ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you […]...
36. Значение идиомы for a song [for a song] {adv. phr.}, {informal} At a low price; for a bargainprice; cheaply. He sold the invention for a song and its buyerswere the ones who got rich. They bought the house for a song andsold it a few years later at a good profit....
37. Music in Our Life Топик Музыка в нашей жизни рассказывает о том, как важна музыка. Музыка сопровождает нас с детства, и она повсюду: дома, в концертном зале, в парке, у моря, в лесу и даже на улице. Это искусство, которое отражает жизнь, ведь музыка отражает эмоции людей. Мы все имеем разное отношение к музыке: одни сочиняют музыку, другие ее […]...
38. A Girl Scout troop leader A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. “Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very dangerous beast out there!” But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was […]...
39. Значение идиомы once in a blue moon [once in a blue moon] {adv. phr.} Very rarely; very seldom; almostnever. Coin collecting is interesting, hut you find a valuable coinonly once in a blue moon. Once in a blue moon someone grows a verypale marigold, but no truly white marigolds have been raised....
40. Значение идиомы song and dance [song and dance] {n.}, {informal} 1. Foolish or uninteresting talk;dull nonsense. Usually used with “give”. I met Nancy today and shegave me a long song and dance about her family. 2. A long lie orexcuse, often meant to get pity. Usually used with “give”. Billygave the teacher a song and dance about his mother being […]...