Category: Jokes

  • President Carter’s joke

    In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to...

  • How all careers end

    How careers end… Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are distilled. Alpine climbers are dismounted. Piano tuners are unstrung. Orchestra leaders...

  • You can come out now

    Jon was looking for a little “action”. He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she...

  • Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin

    Speaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin…….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was...

  • And I will do anything for love

    The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of...

  • Earth science answers

    REAL ANSWERS FROM EARTH SCIENCE EXAMS The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants. Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic. The main problem associated...

  • The other day my house caught fire

    The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” Insurance agent frowned....

  • Why Jim Smith Lost His First Love

    Jim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, and after careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister, he went to...

  • Days after Christmas

    The first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a...

  • A fun game

    While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You’ve won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads:...

  • GOD will save me

    The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said “GOD will save me”. The river...

  • Suffering

    A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.” The counselor...

  • Change your course now

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the...

  • Lost in a balloon

    Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort,...

  • The three wishes

    An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when–all of a sudden–a fairy godmother appears in front of...

  • The Christmas diet song

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes...

  • Europe English

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the...

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