Don’t arrest the judge

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1. Talk to the judge A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers... ...
2. A judge asked a defendant to please stand A judge asked a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.” From out in the audience a man shouted, “Lying bastard!”... ...
3. Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who... ...
4. Перевод слова judge Judge – судья; судить, оценивать, порицать Перевод слова Presiding judge – председательствующий судья to judge whether Smith is right or wrong – судить, прав Смит или неправ I judged him... ...
5. Пословица / поговорка don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover Перевод: не суди о книге по обложке Эквивалент в русском языке: встречают... ...
6. Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they... ...
7. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to... ...
8. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I... ...
9. Best advice possible Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant... ...
10. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Can’t judge a books by its cover” Pansy Пэнзи Have you heard the news? Ты слышала, что случилось? Letitia Летиша What? Что? Pansy Пэнзи The new guy has been given the sack. Новенького уволили. Letitia Летиша Why?... ...
11. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid!... ...
12. Making Ethnically or Racially Offensive Remarks Mike: Did you hear what Dan said? He called me a Mick. What Decade is he living in? Patti: He’s just Ignorant. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be Offensive.... ...
13. Stupid people stories 02 Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary... ...
14. Bring some more ammo The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson’s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: “Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting... ...
15. Death row sing along There was an inmate on death row, and he was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the next morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being... ...
16. Trust thy friend The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to... ...
17. The general went to the doctor for a physical The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions – age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the... ...
18. Humor about Ireland 2 Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would... ...
19. Learning to Read Music Mike: You have a great voice. You should join our Choir. Grace: I don’t know anything about music. I can’t even Read music. Mike: It’s not that hard. I could... ...
20. Staring down from the bench to announce the terms Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: “I’m going to award her alimony in the amount... ...
21. Значение идиомы firing squad [firing squad] {n.} A group of soldiers chosen to shoot a prisonerto death or to fire shots over a grave as a tribute. A dictatoroften sends his enemies before a... ...
22. A technical bastard A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if... ...
23. Drawing God A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was... ...
24. What God looks like A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl... ...
25. Mysterious picture After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the... ...
26. Irish Pub Jokes Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and... ...
27. The local courtroom was packed as testimony began The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney... ...
28. Working on the road A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his... ...
29. Every damn time Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge, wanting every detail asked how often it... ...
30. A story with a morale A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.” Then he... ...
31. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of... ...
32. One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one... ...
33. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to... ...
34. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How... ...
35. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If... ...
36. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me... ...
37. Не судите о книге по ее обложке/ Do not Judge A Book By Its Cover На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Do not Judge A Book By Its Cover Не судите о книге по ее обложке I have never had a proper hobby, except... ...
38. Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money”, he demanded.... ...
39. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up... ...
40. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said,... ...