Don’t arrest the judge
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.
He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?”
“That it is, “Irish Mike replied grimly, “ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.”
“You mean you pinched his honor?” asked Pat.
“How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?” demanded Mike.
“Well,” mused Pat, “there’s a lesson in this somewhere.”
“That there is,” replied Irish Mike….” ‘Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover.”
(1 ΠΎΡΠ΅Π½ΠΎΠΊ, ΡΡΠ΅Π΄Π½Π΅Π΅: 5.00 ΠΈΠ· 5)Related topics:
- Talk to the judge A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers... ...
- A judge asked a defendant to please stand A judge asked a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.” From out in the audience a man shouted, “Lying bastard!”... ...
- ΠΠΎΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡΠ° / ΠΏΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡΠΊΠ° don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover – ΠΏΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈ Π·Π½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅, ΠΏΡΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ ΠΈΡΠΏΠΎΠ»ΡΠ·ΠΎΠ²Π°Π½ΠΈΡ ΠΠΎΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡΠ° / ΠΏΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡΠΊΠ°: don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: Π½Π΅ ΡΡΠ΄ΠΈ ΠΎ ΠΊΠ½ΠΈΠ³Π΅ ΠΏΠΎ ΠΎΠ±Π»ΠΎΠΆΠΊΠ΅ ΠΠΊΠ²ΠΈΠ²Π°Π»Π΅Π½Ρ Π² ΡΡΡΡΠΊΠΎΠΌ ΡΠ·ΡΠΊΠ΅: Π²ΡΡΡΠ΅ΡΠ°ΡΡ... ...
- ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²Π° judge Judge – ΡΡΠ΄ΡΡ; ΡΡΠ΄ΠΈΡΡ, ΠΎΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ²Π°ΡΡ, ΠΏΠΎΡΠΈΡΠ°ΡΡ ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²Π° Presiding judge – ΠΏΡΠ΅Π΄ΡΠ΅Π΄Π°ΡΠ΅Π»ΡΡΡΠ²ΡΡΡΠΈΠΉ ΡΡΠ΄ΡΡ to judge whether Smith is right or wrong – ΡΡΠ΄ΠΈΡΡ, ΠΏΡΠ°Π² Π‘ΠΌΠΈΡ ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ Π½Π΅ΠΏΡΠ°Π² I judged him... ...
- Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who... ...
- Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they... ...
- Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to... ...
- ΠΠΈΠ°Π»ΠΎΠ³ Π½Π° Π°Π½Π³Π»ΠΈΠΉΡΠΊΠΎΠΌ ΡΠ·ΡΠΊΠ΅ Ρ ΠΏΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ΠΎΠΌ “Can’t judge a books by its cover” Pansy ΠΡΠ½Π·ΠΈ Have you heard the news? Π’Ρ ΡΠ»ΡΡΠ°Π»Π°, ΡΡΠΎ ΡΠ»ΡΡΠΈΠ»ΠΎΡΡ? Letitia ΠΠ΅ΡΠΈΡΠ° What? Π§ΡΠΎ? Pansy ΠΡΠ½Π·ΠΈ The new guy has been given the sack. ΠΠΎΠ²Π΅Π½ΡΠΊΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΠ²ΠΎΠ»ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ. Letitia ΠΠ΅ΡΠΈΡΠ° Why?... ...
- An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I... ...
- Making Ethnically or Racially Offensive Remarks Mike: Did you hear what Dan said? He called me a Mick. What Decade is he living in? Patti: He’s just Ignorant. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be Offensive.... ...
- Best advice possible Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ firing squad [firing squad] {n.} A group of soldiers chosen to shoot a prisonerto death or to fire shots over a grave as a tribute. A dictatoroften sends his enemies before a... ...
- Learning to Read Music Mike: You have a great voice. You should join our Choir. Grace: I don’t know anything about music. I can’t even Read music. Mike: It’s not that hard. I could... ...
- Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid!... ...
- Stupid people stories 02 Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary... ...
- The general went to the doctor for a physical The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions – age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the... ...
- Trust thy friend The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to... ...
- Death row sing along There was an inmate on death row, and he was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the next morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being... ...
- Bring some more ammo The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson’s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: “Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting... ...
- Humor about Ireland 2 Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would... ...
- Staring down from the bench to announce the terms Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: “I’m going to award her alimony in the amount... ...
- A technical bastard A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if... ...
- What God looks like A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl... ...
- Mysterious picture After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the... ...
- Drawing God A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was... ...
- ΠΠ΅ ΡΡΠ΄ΠΈΡΠ΅ ΠΎ ΠΊΠ½ΠΈΠ³Π΅ ΠΏΠΎ Π΅Π΅ ΠΎΠ±Π»ΠΎΠΆΠΊΠ΅/ Do not Judge A Book By Its Cover ΠΠ° Π°Π½Π³Π»ΠΈΠΉΡΠΊΠΎΠΌ ΡΠ·ΡΠΊΠ΅ ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ Π½Π° ΡΡΡΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ ΡΠ·ΡΠΊ Do not Judge A Book By Its Cover ΠΠ΅ ΡΡΠ΄ΠΈΡΠ΅ ΠΎ ΠΊΠ½ΠΈΠ³Π΅ ΠΏΠΎ Π΅Π΅ ΠΎΠ±Π»ΠΎΠΆΠΊΠ΅ I have never had a proper hobby, except... ...
- Irish Pub Jokes Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and... ...
- The local courtroom was packed as testimony began The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney... ...
- A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of... ...
- A story with a morale A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.” Then he... ...
- Working on the road A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his... ...
- Every damn time Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge, wanting every detail asked how often it... ...
- One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one... ...
- Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to... ...
- I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How... ...
- Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If... ...
- This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me... ...
- Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money”, he demanded.... ...
- Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said,... ...
- There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up... ...