You might be a redneck if 05

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1. You might be a redneck if 02 You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it […]...
2. You might be a redneck if 03 You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his […]...
3. You might be a redneck if 10 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?” (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve […]...
4. Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest […]...
5. You might be a redneck if 09 You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon […]...
6. You might be a redneck if 04 You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part […]...
7. You might be a redneck if 01 You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not […]...
8. You might be a redneck if 08 You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since “Smokey and the Bandit” was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least […]...
9. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...
10. You might be a redneck if 07 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. […]...
11. You might be a redneck if 06 You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are “Attention K-Mart shoppers.” The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from […]...
12. Значение идиомы long haul [long haul] or [long pull] {n.}, {informal} 1. A long distance ortrip. It is a long haul to drive across the country. ContrastSHORT HAUL. 2. A long length of time during which work continues orsomething is done; a long time of trying. A boy crippled by poliomay learn to walk again, but it may be […]...
13. Next US President A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: “I’d like to become the next President of the United States.” The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?” Redneck: “Why, is it required?”...
14. Yo momma’s so fat YMSF: 1. Her butt has it’s own zip code. 2. When she goes to the grocery store she doesn’t need a cart – she can stack it all on her butt shelf. 3. Congress has designated her butt as a national park. 4. when she stands out front the neighbors wonder where your house went. […]...
15. Перевод слова living-room Living-room – гостиная, столовая, общая комната Перевод слова Living-room interview – интервью с имитацией домашних условий kitchen living room – кухня-столовая living room spaces – жилые помещения He squired them to the Living-room. Он проводил их в гостиную. When the Living-room door opened, he could hear the bath filling. Приоткрыв дверь гостиной, он услышал шум […]...
16. Значение идиомы short haul [short haul] {n.} A short distance; a short trip. TheScoutmaster said that it was just a short haul to the lake. Theman from the moving company said they did not make short hauls, so wehired a truck to move our furniture three blocks to our new house. Contrast: LONG HAUL....
17. Значение идиомы rack and ruin [rack and ruin] {n. phr.} Complete decay; condition of decline. The entire house had been so neglected that it had gone to rack andruin....
18. Значение идиомы fork over [fork over] or [fork out] also [fork up] {v.} To pay; pay out. He had to fork over fifty dollars to have the car repaired. Compare:HAND OVER....
19. Перевод слова fork Fork – вилка, вилы; разветвляться Перевод слова The road forks here – здесь дорога разветвляется to dig a fork into the steak – воткнуть вилку в бифштекс at a fork in the road – на распутье He set down his knife and Fork. Он отложил нож и вилку. Use a Fork to break up the […]...
20. Sexually active A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,”IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?” THE REDNECK SAYS,”NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
21. Перевод слова bicycle Bicycle – велосипед Перевод слова Racing bicycle – гоночный велосипед mountain bicycle – горный велосипед to ride a bicycle – ездить на велосипеде The Bicycle dented my car. Велосипед оставил вмятину на моей машине. Can James ride a Bicycle yet? Джеймс еще может ездить на велосипеде? The Bicycle chain needs oiling. Велосипедная цепочка должна быть […]...
22. A snowball One time in my undergrad days, it was snowing like mad out. someone decided it was time a make a snowball. then someone else suggested that we should put this snowball in this one guy’s room– nobody liked this guy– so when the word got around, half the people in our dorm section came out […]...
23. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says “Look Momma, I’m a white boy.” His mother slaps him hard On the face and says “Boy, go show your Daddy.” The […]...
24. A chinese detective A man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later he received this letter. Most Honorable Sir, You leave house, He come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb […]...
25. Перевод слова flood Flood – наводнение, потоп, поток Перевод слова Flood level – уровень наводнения или паводка before the Flood – в допотопные времена flood of rain – потоки дождя Anger Flooded him. Гнев переполнял его. The Flood took many lives. Наводнение унесло жизни многих людей. The Flood left them homeless. Потоп оставил их без крова. Примеры из […]...
26. At a dinner party, one of the guests At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: ‘Is this pig?’ Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: ‘Which end of the […]...
27. Finding a House to Buy I’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great […]...
28. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order […]...
29. Finding a House to Buy I’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great […]...
30. Значение идиомы haul in [haul in] or [haul up] or [pull in] {v.}, {slang} To bring beforesomeone in charge for punishment or questioning; arrest. John washauled in to court for speeding. The tramp was hauled up forsleeping on the sidewalk. Compare: CALL ON THE CARPET....
31. How did you do that?? Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. “Well, Morrie, how’s your warehouse business going?” . “Oy vey, Abraham, it’s not going so good, we had a flood last week.” “So, Morrie,” whispers Abraham “How do you start a flood?”....
32. Canada America An American will say, “Hot day!” A Canadian will say, “Hot day, eh?” meaning “It’s a hot day, isn’t it?” This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation. It goes to the heart of the less-assertive Canadian character. The United States was born when Americans revolted against King George III and asserted their independence. Canada […]...
33. Worries while flying Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that […]...
34. Detective report A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. […]...
35. Значение идиомы fork over a lot of money [fork over a lot of money] {v. phr.} To pay an excessive amount ofmoney often unwillingly. “According to my divorce decree,” Alancomplained, “I have to fork over a lot of money to my ex-wife everymonth.”...
36. Collection 06 We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, “Do not come home and all will be forgiven”. You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I […]...
37. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front […]...
38. Description of a person and a place – Описание человека и места I’d like to tell you about my friend Andrey and his flat. Andrey is fourteen. He lives with his parents not far from our school. Andrey has a lot of hobbies: he likes to play the computer, to read detective stories, to collect matchboxes. He has large collection of them. He likes animals, especially cats. […]...
39. American Homes Топик Американские дома рассказывает о многообразии типов домов, существующих в Америке. Все дома большие, удобные и красивые, так как американцы очень заботятся о своем жилище и уделяют много времени, улучшая и украшая свой дом. Те, кто пока не может купить свой дом, снимают его или живут в квартирах, что считается не очень удобным и совсем […]...
40. Holiday Decorating Now that the holidays are here, it’s time To decorate the house. Every year, we always Go all out. We buy a Christmas tree and the kids decorate it with Ornaments that we’ve bought and made over the years, and with silver and gold Tinsel. We also hang a Wreath on our front door and […]...