You might be a redneck if 03

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1. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
2. You might be a redneck if 02You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it ... Читать далее...
3. You might be a redneck if 01You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not ... Читать далее...
4. Redneck wins lotteryA Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says «I want my $20 million.» To which the man replied, «No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest ... Читать далее...
5. You might be a redneck if 09You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon ... Читать далее...
6. You might be a redneck if 04You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part ... Читать далее...
7. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
8. You might be a redneck if 10You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are «Howdy!», «HEY!» or «How Y’all Doin’?» (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve ... Читать далее...
9. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
10. Yo momma’s so fatYMSF: 1. Her butt has it’s own zip code. 2. When she goes to the grocery store she doesn’t need a cart — she can stack it all on her butt shelf. 3. Congress has designated her butt as a national park. 4. when she stands out front the neighbors wonder where your house went. ... Читать далее...
11. You might be a redneck if 07You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. ... Читать далее...
12. You might be a redneck if 06You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are «Attention K-Mart shoppers.» The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова living-roomLiving-room — гостиная, столовая, общая комната Перевод слова Living-room interview — интервью с имитацией домашних условий kitchen living room — кухня-столовая living room spaces — жилые помещения He squired them to the Living-room. Он проводил их в гостиную. When the Living-room door opened, he could hear the bath filling. Приоткрыв дверь гостиной, он услышал шум ... Читать далее...
14. A bowlegged manA woman was out shopping and her son was with her. They boy spotted a man who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom’s hand and said, » Momma, look at the bowlegged man.» Mom was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a person and make that sort ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова channelChannel — канал Перевод слова Channel for irrigation — ирригационный канал to capture a channel — занимать канал dung channel — навозная канава Change the Channel on the TV. Переключи канал телевизора. Two ships struck in the Channel. Два корабля столкнулись в канале. Water had Channelled grooves in the rock. Воды направляются углубления в скале. ... Читать далее...
16. Home ShoppingVictor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted ... Читать далее...
17. Home ShoppingVictor: Turn off the TV and put down that phone. I know what you’re about to do. Julia: I wasn’t going to do anything. Victor: You’re watching the Home shopping channel and you have the phone in your hand, which means you’re about to call them and order something. Admit it. Julia: I just wanted ... Читать далее...
18. A small misunderstandingA lady golfer is stung by a wasp. She goes to look for the greenkeeper and finds him. «I’ve been stung by a wasp» She says. » Where did it get you?» He replies «Between the 1st and 2nd hole» «I think your stance must be a little too wide»...
19. Next US PresidentA redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: «I’d like to become the next President of the United States.» The receptionist: «What are you, an idiot?» Redneck: «Why, is it required?»...
20. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
21. A husband and wife are on a nudist beachA husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы feather one’s nest[feather one’s nest] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To use for yourselfmoney and power, especially from a public office or job in which youare trusted to help other people. The rich man told his lawyer touse his money after he died to build a hospital for poor people, butthe lawyer feathered his own nest with the ... Читать далее...
23. 4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted to watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michels on WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch the knitting channel so she can knit some mittens for the kitchen. The fourth nun ... Читать далее...
24. A man decided to have a face liftA man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, «I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова cigaretteCigarette — сигарета, папироса Перевод слова To puff on a cigarette — дымить сигаретой to smoke a cigarette — выкурить сигарету cigarette end — окурок Can you spare me a Cigarette? Не найдется ли у вас сигаретки? Can I cop a Cigarette from you? Закурить не найдется? He stopped to light a Cigarette. Он остановился, ... Читать далее...
26. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is bakingA young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says «Look Momma, I’m a white boy.» His mother slaps him hard On the face and says «Boy, go show your Daddy.» The ... Читать далее...
27. Wife comes home to find the old manWife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room. «My God Henry», she screams, «I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!» «You may be right» he says, «I think I’m stuck.»...
28. Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dogWife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog in the front room. «My God Henry», she screams, «I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!» «You may be right» he says, «I think I’m stuck.»...
29. Two bagsMr. Goldfarb was walking down the street. In each arm he carried a bag. He ran into Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein asked, «What are those bags for?» «I’m collecting for Israel», said Mr. Goldfarb. «You need two bags?», asked Mr. Klein. «I’ve got a system, said Mr. Goldfarb. It’s fantastic. I go into the men’s ... Читать далее...
30. Finding a BargainManuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite ... Читать далее...
31. Finding a BargainManuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы stir up a hornet’s nest[stir up a hornet’s nest] {v. phr.} To make many people angry; dosomething that many people don’t like. The principal stirred up ahornet’s nest by changing the rules at school....
33. Значение идиомы flip-flop[flip-flop ] {v.}, {informal} To alternate the positions of;exchange the places of; switch. The football coach had one play inwhich he flip-flopped his left halfback and fullback....
34. Checking into a HotelI Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel ... Читать далее...
35. Crossing the borderWhile crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. «What’s in the bags?», asked the guard. «Sand,» said the cyclist. «Get them off — we’ll take a look,» said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, ... Читать далее...
36. Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycleJuan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answered Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ... Читать далее...
37. Alexander FlemingAlexander Fleming, the discoverer of penicillin, was born in Scotland in 1881 at a farm. He began to go to school when he was five. In 1895 he went to London and decided to dedicate his life to medicine. At first Fleming wanted to become a surgeon but soon he got interested in bacteriology and ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод идиомы nest egg, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: nest egg Перевод: деньги, отложенные на будущее; накопления Пример: The man has a large nest egg and will have no financial problems if he leaves his company. У этого человека отложено много денег на будущее, и у него не будет финансовых проблем, если он покинет свою компанию....
39. Beautiful — in a sentenceThe teacher says, «Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today’s word is «beautiful». Little Sally, would you please come up here and use «beautiful» in a sentence?» Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for ... Читать далее...
40. Mexican SmugglerJuan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answers Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them ... Читать далее...