You might be a redneck if 03

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1. Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20... ...
2. You might be a redneck if 02 You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an... ...
3. You might be a redneck if 04 You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids... ...
4. You might be a redneck if 10 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!”... ...
5. You might be a redneck if 01 You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You... ...
6. You might be a redneck if 08 You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since “Smokey and the Bandit” was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your... ...
7. You might be a redneck if 06 You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are “Attention K-Mart shoppers.” The... ...
8. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says,... ...
9. You might be a redneck if 05 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a... ...
10. You might be a redneck if 09 You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your... ...
11. You might be a redneck if 07 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to... ...
12. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat... ...
13. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize... ...
14. Перевод слова yard Yard – ярд; двор Перевод слова To sell by the yard – продавать на ярды (ткань и т. п.) all over the yard – по всему двору poultry yard –... ...
15. Two neighbors had been fighting each other Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole... ...
16. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas... ...
17. Where are my pyjamas? A man calls his wife and says to her, “Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you... ...
18. Next US President A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: “I’d like to become the next President of the United States.” The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?” Redneck:... ...
19. Перевод слова tape Tape – лента, записывать на ленту (магнитофона) Перевод слова Tape duplication – копирование ленты electrical insulating tape – электрическая изоляционная лента perforated tape – перфолента to tape a telephone conversation... ...
20. Sexually active A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,”IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?” THE REDNECK SAYS,”NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent... ...
21. Перевод слова pack Pack – пакет, упаковка, упаковывать, заполнять Перевод слова Jumbo pack – огромный пакет king-size pack – упаковка большего размера pack of jackals – стая шакалов I’ll go home and Pack.... ...
22. Holiday Decorating Now that the holidays are here, it’s time To decorate the house. Every year, we always Go all out. We buy a Christmas tree and the kids decorate it with... ...
23. Перевод слова front Front – перед, передняя часть Перевод слова Look to your front – смотри вперед the table of contents is in the front of the book – оглавление находится в начале... ...
24. Перевод слова scene Scene – место действия, сцена, картина Перевод слова The famous quarrel scene – знаменитая сцена ссоры the duel scene in Hamlet – сцена дуэли в “Гамлете” a scene of confusion... ...
25. Значение идиомы make a scene [make a scene] {v. phr.} To act hysterically; attract unfavorableattention. I didn’t want Kate to make a scene in front of all ofthose people, so I gave her the money... ...
26. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of... ...
27. Перевод слова quality Quality – качество Перевод слова To check a product for quality – проверять качество изделия to clothe with quality – придавать качество competitive quality – конкурентоспособное качество degraded audio quality... ...
28. Значение идиомы friction tape [friction tape] {n.} Black cloth tape with one sticky side usedaround electric wires. The boy fixed his cracked baseball bat withsome friction tape....
29. There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not... ...
30. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said “Whoever is not willing to take a... ...
31. Nutrition Information For those of you who watch what you eat… Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.... ...
32. A woman and her lover are on the bed A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close. “Oh, no, it’s my... ...
33. Значение идиомы masking tape [masking tape] {n.} A paper tape that is stuck around the edges ofa surface being painted to keep the paint off the surface next to it. The painters put masking... ...
34. The scene is a dark jungle in Africa The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass... ...
35. Pack your bags honey! This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, “Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!” She says, “Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?”... ...
36. Drunk orders himself a beer A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks... ...
37. A yard sale A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn.... ...
38. Lawyers are greedy A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the... ...
39. A push A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in... ...
40. A materialist A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the... ...