1. Her butt has it’s own zip code.
2. When she goes to the grocery store she doesn’t need a cart — she can stack it all on her butt shelf.
3. Congress has designated her butt as a national park.
4. when she stands out front the neighbors wonder where your house went.
5. Bill Clinton offered her a cigar to play with.
6. EMT’s call for an oil derrick when they need to find a vein.
7. She shops for clothes in the tent and awning department.
8. She was going to drive a Komatsu for the mine but they didn’t have one with a cab big enough.
9. A grade school glass of 30 can’t get their combined arms around her.
10. You don’t have any younger siblings because your daddy is afraid of the echo… echo… echo… let me out it’s dark in here… here… here…
11. Yo momma’s so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.
12. Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped in da ocean and the whales started singing «We are family!»
13. it takes 2 train rides and a cab to get on her good side!
14. Yo momma’s so fat, she’s 36-24-36… but that’s just her left arm!
15. YMSF she gets a group plan for health insurance.
16. Yo momma’s so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.
17. … she declared herself a country.
18. Yo momma’s so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
19. .. it takes a team of aquatic engineers six months to bathe her.
20. Yo momma’s so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party.
21. Yo momma’s so fat when she got hit by a bus she said, «Who threw that rock?»
22. Yo momma’s so fat her blood type is Ragu.
23. she’s never seen her own vagina. Not even in a mirror.
24. … her cholesterol is measured in pounds.
25. Yo momma’s so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.
26. Yo momma’s so fat, when she walks in front of the T. V., you miss 10 minutes of your show.
27. Yo momma’s so fat she lost a game of hide & seek only cuz I spotted her… behind Mount Everest.
28. … her midnight snack takes 24 hours to eat.
29. … she went to the drive-in and blocked everyone’s view.
30. … she has flies buzzing around her. Not because they want to, but because they can’t achieve escape velocity.
31. Yo momma’s so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a cupcake on the other side just to get her through.
33. Yo momma’s so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her burps.
34. … she was the ice burg that sank the Titanic.
35. … she’s never seen her own vagina. Not even in a mirror.