Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them

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1. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Blonde#1: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!...
2. Two blondes were walking through the woods Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said “These look like deer tracks.” The other said, “No, they look like moose tracks.” They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them....
3. Two blondes were walking down the street Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” “Let me look.” said the other one. So she handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror […]...
4. Blondes dumb?!?!? After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it […]...
5. A blonde went to the appliance store sale A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry we don’t sell […]...
6. Перевод слова lake Lake – озеро Перевод слова The Great Lakes – Великие озера north of the lake – к северу от озера reedy margin of the lake – заросший тростником берег озера She rowed across the Lake. Она гребла на лодке через озеро. The Lake serves recreation. Озеро служит местом отдыха. Seines were set in the water […]...
7. Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, “Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!” The girls stop and look at each other. “Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!”...
8. 51 DAYS 51 DAYS A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses […]...
9. One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was a thermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it to work one day and the […]...
10. Значение идиомы go jump in the lake [go jump in the lake] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go away and quitbeing a bother. George was tired of Tom’s advice and told him to gojump in the lake. Compare: GO CHASE YOURSELF, GO FLY A KITE....
11. A Blonde A Blonde A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. […]...
12. Fishing on the lake A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his […]...
13. The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, “Darling am I the first man to make love to you?” Her tone […]...
14. Перевод сленгового выражения go fly a kite! / go chase yourself! / go climb a tree! / go jump in the lake!, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: go fly a kite! / go chase yourself! / go climb a tree! / go jump in the lake! Перевод: уходи, не приставай, оставь меня в покое, иди отдохни (используется в повелительном наклонении) Пример: Get out of here, Robert! You’re driving me crazy! Go chase yourself! Убирайся отсюда, Роберт! Ты меня с ума […]...
15. Значение идиомы in the swim [in the swim] {adj. phr.} Doing the same things that other peopleare doing; following the fashion ;busy with what most people are doing. Jim found some collegefriends at the lake that summer, and soon was in the swim of things. Mary went to New York with introductions to writers and artists, and that winter she […]...
16. Skeleton Lake of Roopkund, India A lake with hundreds of ancient skeletons surrounding it. The surprise is what killed them… In 1942 a British forest guard in Roopkund, India made an alarming discovery. Some 16,000 feet above sea level, at the bottom of a small valley, was a frozen lake absolutely full of skeletons. That summer, the ice melting revealed […]...
17. Значение идиомы laugh on the wrong side of one’s mouth [laugh on the wrong side of one’s mouth] or [laugh on the otherside of one’s mouth] or [laugh out of the other side of one’s mouth]{v. phr.}, {informal} To be made sorry; to feel annoyance ordisappointment; cry. Paul boasted that he was a good skater, butafter he fell, he laughed out of the other side […]...
18. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think […]...
19. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: “I don’t want to complain, but I think those […]...
20. A blonde came running home to her mother A blonde came running home to her mother, sobbing and hysterical. “What’s wrong?” her mum, (another blonde) asked. “My boyfriend’s just dropped me!” wailed the blonde. Her mother nodded wisely and started to tell her all about the birds and the bees. “No mum,” the blonde interrupted. “You don’t understand – I can fuck and […]...
21. A blonde goes for a job interview A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you […]...
22. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?” The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she […]...
23. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.” Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Psychiatrist: […]...
24. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
25. Значение идиомы grass is always greener on the other side of the fence [grass is always greener on the other side of the fence] or [grassis always greener on the other side of the hill] We are often notsatisfied and want to be somewhere else; a place that is far away ordifferent seems better than where we are. John is always changinghis job because the grass always looks […]...
26. A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place. “Well,” said the demon, “the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes […]...
27. Значение идиомы other [other] See: EACH OTHER, EVERY OTHER, GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ONTHE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE or GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHERSIDE OF THE HILL, GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER, LAUGH ON THE WRONGSIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH or LAUGH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH, ON THEOTHER HAND, OR […]...
28. Commiting suicide A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, “You put it around your neck!” The […]...
29. Перевод слова swim Swim – плавать, плыть, купаться Перевод слова To swim over – переплыть to swim in a pool – плавать в бассейне never offer to teach fish to swim – смешно учить рыбу плавать Let’s go for a Swim. Пойдемте купаться. A Swim will do me good. Мне будет полезно немного поплавать. I fancy a Swim. […]...
30. The Pope took a philosophy professor The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the […]...
31. Six people were on a plane Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, ” Save the children” The lawyer yells out “FUCK THE CHILDREN!” The priest yells out ” […]...
32. An easy solution On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue […]...
33. In jail This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: “I got 12 inches over here you would love to have.” The female response was: “Well, spit it out it isn’t yours.”...
34. There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim to a nearby island. After being there […]...
35. Blonde on blonde A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally […]...
36. A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
37. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
38. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Head and Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, “How do you give shoulders?”...
39. Значение идиомы side [side] See: CHOOSE UP SIDES, FROM SIDE TO SIDE, GET UP ON THE WRONGSIDE OF THE BED, GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THEFENCE or GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL, LAUGHON THE WRONG SIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH, ON ONE’S BAD SIDE, ON ONE’S GOODSIDE, ON THE […]...
40. Buying some golf balls A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are […]...