Next US President

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1. President precedent Difference Between a Bad *President* and a Bad *Precedent* … BAD *PRECEDENT: Tipper: “How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?” Al: “Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I’d do it all again.” … BAD *PRESIDENT: Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear – […]...
2. The President of the United States – Президент Соединенных Штатов Do you want to be President of the United States of America? Maybe you can apply for the post. Answer these three questions. Are you a US citizen? Are you thirty-five years old or older? Have you been a resident of the United States for fourteen years or longer? Did you say “yes” to all […]...
3. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” “What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks. Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.” Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I […]...
4. Перевод слова president President – президент Перевод слова Campaign for the president – кампания кандидата в президенты a consultant to the President on foreign policy – советник президента по внешней политике acting president – временно исполняющий обязанности президента incoming president – вновь избранный президент The President declared war. Президент объявил войну. He could end up as President. Oн […]...
5. A tourist from the United States of America A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, “Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D. C. […]...
6. Main Vice President Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”. “Really?” […]...
7. The US Congress The Congress of the United States is composed of two houses: the Senate and the House of Representatives. The Senate represents the states. Each state is granted at least one representative in the House. The remainder are apportioned among the states according to their population. The Senate of US is composed of one hundred members […]...
8. In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: “All the President’s Women.”...
9. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied […]...
10. President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip – a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute. “I’d salute […]...
11. The company president called the chief security guard The company president called the chief security guard into his office. “Chuck, we’ve received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don’t belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop.” Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sir. I […]...
12. Giuseppi walks into work, and he says Giuseppi walks into work, and he says, “Ey, Tony! You know who’s-a George Washington?” Tony says, “No, Giuseppi, who’s-a George Washington?” He says, “Hah! George-a Washington’s the first-a President of – a United States. I’m-a go to night school, learn all about-a United States, and become-a U. S.-a citizen.” A couple of days later, Giuseppi […]...
13. The first Jewish woman President is elected The first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: “Mama, I’ve won the elections, you’ve got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.” “I don’t know, what would I wear?” “Don’t worry, I’ll send you a dressmaker” “But I only eat kosher food” “Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get […]...
14. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...
15. President’s Day – День президента American’s two most popular and famous Presidents were both born in February. Until very recently, the birthdays of each President were officially celebrated but the holidays occurring in the middle of the week disrupted the full workweek. So ten years ago the Congress reformed the entire system of American Holidays to make them more convenient […]...
16. US Congress The United States of America is a federal republic consisting of50 states. Each of them has its own goverment (“stategoverment”). In some ways the United States are like 50 smallcountries. Each state has its own governor, its own police andits own laws. The present constitution was proclaimed in 1787 inPhiladelphia, the President is the head […]...
17. Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest […]...
18. Washington (4) The capital of the United States of America was founded in 1791 in the District of Columbia. The capital received the name of Washington – after the name of the commander-in-chief of the American army in the War for Independence who became the first President of the United States. President Washington himself took an active […]...
19. Why was Washington made the capital of the United States? After the War of Independence the United States needed a capital city. Different cities in different parts of the country wanted to be the nation’s capital. After all, it was decided to build a new city. In 1791 George Washington, the first president, chose the place where the city now stands. The land around the […]...
20. The Political System of the USA Washington, the capital of the United States, is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. The district is a piece of land which doesn’t belong to any state but to all the states. Under the Constitution, the federal government is divided into three branches. The legislative power is vested in Congress and […]...
21. Launch the missiles It’s Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House. Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings. [President Bill] Hello! Hello! [Voice on the line] President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United […]...
22. Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations REDMOND, Wash. – Oct. 23, 1997 – In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum. “It’s actually a logical extension of our planned growth”, said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, […]...
23. It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way. “And just where have you been until this hour?” demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home. […]...
24. Candidate Clinton vs President Clinton Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the […]...
25. THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS. THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN “Members of Congress…People of America….I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D. C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, […]...
26. Arriving for an Appointment I arrived a little early for my sales appointment with the Office manager of Lyon Industries, and spoke to the Receptionist. Juri: Hello. I’m here for my 11:30 appointment with Sue Gibbons. Receptionist: What is your name? Juri: It’s Juri Lakoff. Receptionist: I’ll let her know that you’re here. [Speaking into the telephone] Sue, this […]...
27. Sexually active A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,”IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?” THE REDNECK SAYS,”NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
28. JOHN F. KENNEDY: The Swingingest President Ever J. F. K., a gifted golfer, didn’t want to be photographed on the links. He was afraid of inheriting Eisenhower’s image, as a man putting his way through is presidency. An aficionado of Ian Fleming’s spy novels, John F. Kennedy relished keeping secrets almost as much as he enjoyed hearing them. One of Kennedy’s most […]...
29. You might be a redneck if 10 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?” (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve […]...
30. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!”. She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks […]...
31. The USA Топик США рассказывает о количестве штатов, входящих в состав Америки, о водах, омывающих берега этой огромной страны. Интересны факты об американской нации, представляющей собой смесь людей разных национальностей, ведь за последние 400 лет миллионы людей прибыли в Новый свет, чтобы начать новую жизнь. В топике представлены сведения о правительственной системе Соединенных Штатов Америки. В конституции […]...
32. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
33. Clinton is vacationing Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. […]...
34. The USA (2) The United States of America is another important English-speaking country. It consists of fifty different states and the District of Columbia joined together under one government. The USA covers an area of almost 9400000 square kilometres and is twice as large as all the countries of Europe combined. It is placed in the middle of […]...
35. Congress of the USA – Конгресс США The legislative branch of national government consists of two houses – the Senate and the House of Representatives – each with a different role, different powers, and a different electoral procedure. The House of Representatives is the institution of the federal government. The states are divided into congressional districts or constituencies of roughly equal size […]...
36. Presidents should not swear in on a Bible Barack Obama’s hand lies on a Bible held by Michelle Obama as he is sworn in as the 44th U. S. president on January 20, 2009. U. S. presidents should not be sworn into office with their hand on a Bible. At Monday’s inauguration of his second term, President Barack Obama will raise his right […]...
37. Значение идиомы open letter [open letter] {n. phr.} A public message in the form of a letteraddressed to a particular person or to a group. There was an openletter to the president of the United States in today’s morningpaper....
38. Значение идиомы tell it to the marines [tell it to the marines] or [tell it toSweeney] {slang} I don’tbelieve you; Stop trying to fool me. John said, “My father knowsthe President of the United States.” Dick answered, “Tell it to themarines.”...
39. Биография Барака Обамы на английском языке. Biography of Barrack Obama Barack H. Obama is the 44th President of the United States. His story is the American story – values from the heartland, a middle-class upbringing in a strong family, hard work and education as the means of getting ahead, and the conviction that a life so blessed should be lived in service to others. With […]...
40. How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these […]...