Days after Christmas

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1. The Twelve Politically-Correct Days of ChristmasHe Twelve Politically-Correct Days of Christmas On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my acquaintance-rape survivor gave to me, TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in ... Читать далее...
2. Revised Christmas daysEffective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the «Twelve Days of Christmas» subsidiary: 1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance 2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is ... Читать далее...
3. 12 days of ChristmasDecember 14, 1998 Dearest Dave, I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn’t have been more surprised or pleased darling! With truly the deepest love, Agnes December 15, 1998 Dearest Dave, Today the postman brought me yet another of your ... Читать далее...
4. Christmas downsizingToday’s global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the «Twelve Days of Christmas» subsidiary: The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced ... Читать далее...
5. Twelve days MicrosoftTwelve days of Microsoft On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports ... Читать далее...
6. 12 Days of Windows 95On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . ... Читать далее...
7. Christmas tree betterReasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman» A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb ... Читать далее...
8. An inoffensive ChrismasOn the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me: TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in ... Читать далее...
9. A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowlyA little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ... Читать далее...
10. It’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go lookIt’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы lit up like a Christmas tree[lit up like a Christmas tree] {adj. phr.}, {informal} To be drunk. On New Year’s Eve Ned was lit up like a Christmas tree. Compare:THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND....
12. Перевод слова ChristmasChristmas — Рождество Перевод слова Merry Christmas! — счастливого рождества! Christmas tree — рождественская елка on Christmas Day — в день Рождества Christmas is drawing near. Рождество приближается. We’ll see you at Christmas. Увидимся на Рождество. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Мы желаем вам Счастливого Рождества....
13. Перевод слова pearPear — груша Перевод слова Pear relish — аромат груши shaped like a pear — грушевидный pear tree — грушевое дерево, груша The Pear was rotten right through. Груша была целиком сгнившей. It is a great mistake to allow Pear trees to overbear. Допускать, чтобы грушевые деревья давали слишком много плода — это большая ошибка. ... Читать далее...
14. Twelve days fast foodTwelve days of fast food On the first day of Christmas, my drive through gave to me: a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the second day of Christmas, my drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the third day of Christmas, my drive through gave ... Читать далее...
15. Short Christmas jokesWhat did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve! What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter «D» ! What does Father Christmas suffer from if he ... Читать далее...
16. Christmas flavorThree men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas ... Читать далее...
17. Chemistry song 06Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and ... Читать далее...
18. Short Father ChristmasWhat do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? ... Читать далее...
19. Christmas, Hanukkah, and KwanzaaThe holidays in my family are very Diverse. Our Custom is to celebrate Christmas every year as a Religious observance, complete with Advent wreathes and Midnight Mass. Most of my In-laws observe Christmas Purely as a Secular holiday, with the focus on Exchanging gifts, stockings, A Christmas tree, and other traditional customs. There is a ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы Christmas card[Christmas card] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} A speeding ticket. Smokey just gave a Christmas card to the eighteen wheeler we passed....
21. ChristmasИз топика Рождество вы узнаете о рождественских традициях Великобритании. Рождество – это христианский праздник, но в нем сочетаются и языческие, и христианские верования. Само слово «Рождество» произошло от «Christ’s mass» – «месса Христова» или церковное служение в честь Иисуса Христа. В Англии обязательно наряжают рождественскую елку, потому что в дохристианские времена, в Северной Европе, вечнозеленые ... Читать далее...
22. In 3 Days Elon Musk’s Tesla Motors & SpaceX Went From Potential Bankruptcy to $1.8 Billion. Risk Is Worth ItElon Musk is the man behind some of the most innovative companies we know today: PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX, and Solar City. In a recent «60 Minutes» interview Musk gave great insight into his mindset and hardships. His story teaches us a lot about being willing to risk everything for something we believe in. Musk is ... Читать далее...
23. Represent ChristmasThree men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы Christmas club[Christmas club] {n.} A plan for putting money in the bank to be saved for Christmas shopping. John deposits $10 each week in the Christmas club. The woman will get her Christmas club money on December 10....
25. Military Christmas‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube, Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube, And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so ... Читать далее...
26. Rating Christmas partiesIf you threw a party, the worst thing you could have done was throw the kind of party where your guests, the next day, call you up to say they had a nice time. Now you’ll be expected to throw another great party next year. What you should have done was throw the kind of ... Читать далее...
27. A wish for ChristmasIt is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы Father Christmas[Father Christmas] {n.}, {British} The joyful spirit of Christmas;Santa Claus. English children look forward to the visit of FatherChristmas....
29. An Internet ChristmasT’was the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of ... Читать далее...
30. After Christmas SalesRoxana: Get up! We’re going To miss out on the best Deals if we don’t get to the stores when they open. Kurt: What? I’m sleeping. Leave me alone. Roxana: You need to get up now and come with me to the store for the After Christmas sales. You know that they Slash prices and ... Читать далее...
31. After Christmas SalesRoxana: Get up! We’re going To miss out on the best Deals if we don’t get to the stores when they open. Kurt: What? I’m sleeping. Leave me alone. Roxana: You need to get up now and come with me to the store for the After Christmas sales. You know that they Slash prices and ... Читать далее...
32. Microsoft ChristmasNORTH POLE (API) — MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of ... Читать далее...
33. Christmas in Great Britain — Рождество в ВеликобританииFor most British families, this is the most important festival of the year. This is the day when many people are travelling home to be with their families on Christmas Day. If you try to catch a train on 24th December you may have difficulty in finding a seat. There are a lot of traditions ... Читать далее...
34. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtleThere once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when ... Читать далее...
35. Bush as a post turtleWhile suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush’s health care reform ideas. The old man said «Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle». So, not knowing what he ... Читать далее...
36. An Australian ChristmasHere comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Sweating his fat away Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Water-skis on his sleigh Never have a white Christmas When you in Melbourne live Wearing hot pants on the beach When you your presents give Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Sweating his ... Читать далее...
37. Without a Christmas bonusTen signs you’re not getting a christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as «the ghost of unemployment future» 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call «my new ... Читать далее...
38. Christmas in Great Britain — Рождество в Великобритании (1)For most British families, this is the most important festival of the year. This is the day when many people are travelling home to be with their families on Christmas Day. If you try to catch a train on 24th December you may have difficulty in finding a seat. There are a lot of traditions ... Читать далее...
39. «Рождество в Великобритании и Америке» (Christmas in Britain and America)Christmas is a favourite time of the year for many Christian people. It is celebrated by many cultures and religions. This is the holiday when families come together and celebrate the birth of Jesus, love, peace and kindness. Catholic Christmas is celebrated in Europe, Australia and America on the 25th of December. However all preparations ... Читать далее...
40. A peasant was standing in a field chatting to a bullA pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. «I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree», sighed the pheasant, «but I haven»t got the energy». Well, why don»t you nibble on some of my droppings?» replied the bull. «They»re packed with nutrients». The pheasant pecked at ... Читать далее...