An Australian Christmas

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1. Short Christmas jokes What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve! What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter “D” ! What does Father Christmas suffer from if he […]...
2. New FAA inspections With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus’s sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve. The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and […]...
3. Short Father Christmas What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? […]...
4. Значение идиомы Father Christmas [Father Christmas] {n.}, {British} The joyful spirit of Christmas;Santa Claus. English children look forward to the visit of FatherChristmas....
5. Microsoft Christmas NORTH POLE (API) – MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of […]...
6. A wish for Christmas It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and […]...
7. Police officer Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation, Not a deputy stirred, they were all on vacation. The stockings were hung on the wall with great care, Next to some T-shirts and old underwear. I was working the night shift compiling stats, Answering the phone, and feeding the rat. When all of a sudden […]...
8. The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking: Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, e. g. stocking, socks, etc., […]...
9. On Christmas morning a cop on horseback On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to […]...
10. Military Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube, Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube, And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so […]...
11. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa The holidays in my family are very Diverse. Our Custom is to celebrate Christmas every year as a Religious observance, complete with Advent wreathes and Midnight Mass. Most of my In-laws observe Christmas Purely as a Secular holiday, with the focus on Exchanging gifts, stockings, A Christmas tree, and other traditional customs. There is a […]...
12. Christmas – Рождество (1) Christmas is Christian holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. For millions of Christians throughout the world it is the happiest and the busiest time of the year. No one knows the exact date of Christ’s birth but most Christians celebrate Christmas on December 25. The word Christmas comes from Christes masse, an early […]...
13. Confuse Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask […]...
14. Christmas and Hanukkah Merger Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having […]...
15. Is There a Santa Claus? As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renown scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) – I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus. 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, […]...
16. Billy Gates writes Santa Dear Santa, How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business. Actually, I admire the way you […]...
17. Christmas tree better Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman” A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb […]...
18. Рождество/ Christmas На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Christmas Рождество Christmas is one of the most important holidays in Christianity. A lot of people consider that Jesus Christ was born on this day many years ago. It’s a sacred festival that’s why orthodox believers gather in the churches to attend the feast rite on Christmas. My […]...
19. ‘Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had […]...
20. “Рождество в Великобритании и Америке” (Christmas in Britain and America) Christmas is a favourite time of the year for many Christian people. It is celebrated by many cultures and religions. This is the holiday when families come together and celebrate the birth of Jesus, love, peace and kindness. Catholic Christmas is celebrated in Europe, Australia and America on the 25th of December. However all preparations […]...
21. An Internet Christmas T’was the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of […]...
22. Barbie and G. I. Joe A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks, “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?” The little girl replies, “I want a Barbie and G. I. Joe.” Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, “I […]...
23. Santa vs. system admins The similarities between Santa and System Admins 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. 2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. 3. Santa seldom answers your mail. 4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he’s got, he says, “Elves make it […]...
24. Перевод слова Christmas Christmas – Рождество Перевод слова Merry Christmas! – счастливого рождества! Christmas tree – рождественская елка on Christmas Day – в день Рождества Christmas is drawing near. Рождество приближается. We’ll see you at Christmas. Увидимся на Рождество. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Мы желаем вам Счастливого Рождества....
25. Represent Christmas Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he […]...
26. Значение идиомы Christmas club [Christmas club] {n.} A plan for putting money in the bank to be saved for Christmas shopping. John deposits $10 each week in the Christmas club. The woman will get her Christmas club money on December 10....
27. Being Rescued Irma: Do you really think we’ll Be rescued? It’s been six hours and I’m Losing hope. Bert: It’s hard to say. I’m sure Search and rescue teams are looking for us as we speak. Irma: But what if they don’t come In time? We didn’t bring any Provisions and we’re almost out of water. Bert: […]...
28. The Christmas Feast and Santa Claus – Рождественский банкет и Санта-Клаус Christmas takes place on December 25. There are some traditions connected with it. One of them is to give presents to each other. It is not only children and members of family who give presents to each other. It’s a tradition to give Christmas presents to the people you work with, to give presents to […]...
29. The Christmas diet song ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. […]...
30. Christmas flavor Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas […]...
31. Рождество в США/ Christmas in the USA Рождество в США Christmas in the USA В каждой стране свои традиции и обычаи празднования Рождества. В англо-говорящих странах Рождество празднуется 25 декабря. Этому дню предшествуют длительные приготовления: каждое здание на улице оформляется в сказочном стиле, покупаются открытки и подарки для членов семьи и друзей, на центральных площадях городов возводят вечнозеленые ели, повсюду слышны рождественские […]...
32. Backward Santa As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”...
33. Days after Christmas The first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. The second day after Christmas I […]...
34. Значение идиомы hand out [hand out] {v.}, {informal} To give toseveral people. The teacher handed out the examination papers. At the Christmas party Santa Claus handed out the presents under thetree. Handing out free advice to all your friends will not makethem like you. Compare: GIVE OUT....
35. Christmas in Great Britain – Рождество в Великобритании (2) Christmas Day, December 25, is probably the most popular holiday in Great Britain. It is a family holiday. Traditionally all relatives and friends give each other presents. So, before Christmas all the department stores and shops are crowded, everybody is choosing a present. In general, people get prepared for this holiday very carefully. They decorate […]...
36. Перевод слова sand Sand – песок, засыпать песком Перевод слова To blanket the fire with sand – засыпать огонь песком sand-blast cleaning – пескоструйная очистка corn of sand – песчинка I have Sand in my shoe. У меня песок в ботинках. Water permeates Sand easily. Вода легко проходит сквозь песок. The new Renault comes in black, silver, blue […]...
37. After Christmas Sales Roxana: Get up! We’re going To miss out on the best Deals if we don’t get to the stores when they open. Kurt: What? I’m sleeping. Leave me alone. Roxana: You need to get up now and come with me to the store for the After Christmas sales. You know that they Slash prices and […]...
38. After Christmas Sales Roxana: Get up! We’re going To miss out on the best Deals if we don’t get to the stores when they open. Kurt: What? I’m sleeping. Leave me alone. Roxana: You need to get up now and come with me to the store for the After Christmas sales. You know that they Slash prices and […]...
39. Значение идиомы Christmas card [Christmas card] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} A speeding ticket. Smokey just gave a Christmas card to the eighteen wheeler we passed....
40. Значение идиомы lit up like a Christmas tree [lit up like a Christmas tree] {adj. phr.}, {informal} To be drunk. On New Year’s Eve Ned was lit up like a Christmas tree. Compare:THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND....