The three wishes

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1. Значение идиомы fairy godmother [fairy godmother] {n.} 1. A fairy believed to help and take care ofa baby as it grows up. 2. A person who helps and does much foranother. The rich man... ...
2. Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball, but she was having a severe case of PMS. She was crabby and pissy and moody and generally not in... ...
3. Democrats on the front porch This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, “Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and... ...
4. A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If... ...
5. The scene is a dark jungle in Africa The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass... ...
6. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes... ...
7. Перевод слова handsome Handsome – красивый, статный Перевод слова Handsome dog – большая сильная собака to grow handsome – похорошеть handsome woman – импозантная женщина My teacher is Handsome, strictly! Мой учитель красавчик,... ...
8. Miracle Bra Alternative Miracle Bra Alternative A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands... ...
9. The third wish A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, ‘I will grant you three wishes.’ The... ...
10. What is your name Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”... ...
11. Sweet, Sweet Road Rage An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was... ...
12. Seventy year old George went for his annual physical Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, “George everything looks great physically. How are you doing... ...
13. Значение идиомы handsome is as handsome does [handsome is as handsome does] {informal} A person must act welland generously so that he will be truly worth respecting. – A proverb. Everyone thinks that Bon is a very... ...
14. A guy walks into an elevator and stands next A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman... ...
15. A lesson in ebonics A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’ He stands up and says, “Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.” The teacher says, “No, that’s... ...
16. There was a man and woman traveling along in their car There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and... ...
17. On their first night to be together On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The... ...
18. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly... ...
19. Subjects for a date A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there... ...
20. Перевод слова possibly Possibly – возможно, вероятно Перевод слова He may possibly recover – он, возможно, поправится as soon as I possibly can – как только я смогу possibly best – возможно лучший... ...
21. A man was walking down the street when he noticed A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are... ...
22. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old... ...
23. A man decided to have a face lift A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand... ...
24. It was the age when knighthood was in flower It was the age when knighthood was in flower. A young lady was pounding away at a piece of iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady saw her and asked,... ...
25. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady,... ...
26. Перевод слова lady Lady – леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady – знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! – женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady – соблазнительная женщина your good lady –... ...
27. Making bets A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much she would like to... ...
28. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a... ...
29. The Rabbi There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a... ...
30. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring... ...
31. Remember a child A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her... ...
32. During WW II an American soldier During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply... ...
33. Three vampires go to a bar Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I... ...
34. Three wishes It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig’s ass popping out. The first man says,... ...
35. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. “Bartender,” he says, “give that lady whatever she... ...
36. A perfect choice A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn’t... ...
37. A young lady walks into a doctors office A young lady walks into a doctors office. “Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge” The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around... ...
38. Willy’s rolling down the hall of a retirement home Willy’s rolling down the hall of a retirement home acting like he’s driving a car, an orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he’s doing. Willy replies, “I’m going... ...
39. Beautiful – in a sentence The teacher says, “Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today’s word is “beautiful”.... ...
40. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?” So,... ...