Two eagles are soaring along when suddenly

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1. An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..” The eagle says “what […]...
2. Перевод слова suddenly Suddenly – вдруг, внезапно Перевод слова The thought came suddenly to me – мне пришла в голову мысль with an engine suddenly failed – при внезапном отказе двигателя be suddenly seized with illness – внезапно заболеть An idea Suddenly struck me. Меня внезапно осенила мысль. No one likes to be Suddenly awakened. Никто не любит, […]...
3. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
4. An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff. The Avon lady asked, “Do you smell something?” “Why, yes, I do,” he replied. “What […]...
5. A big bird Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters […]...
6. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his […]...
7. Moving Out of a Home [A knock on door.] Andre: Hello. Is anyone here? Ellie: Yes, can I help you? Andre: I saw your door open and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Did you just Move in? Ellie: No, I’m Moving out. As you can see, I’m doing Last-minute packing. I think I’ve used up 10 […]...
8. Describing Speed and Pace Chiu: Come on, Slowpoke, Hurry up! We’ll never get to the top of the hill if you don’t Get a move on. Sarah: There’s no way you’re going to get me to move at Breakneck speed. I’ve gone up at least 500 steps already, and my legs are about to fall off. Tell me again […]...
9. Значение идиомы eagle eye [eagle eye] {n.} Sharp vision like that of an eagle; the ability tonotice even the tiniest details. The new boss keeps an eagle eye onall aspects of our operation....
10. I own the fastest car A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on […]...
11. Значение идиомы on the move [on the move] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} 1. Moving around from place toplace; in motion. It was a very cold day, and the teacher watchingthe playground kept on the move to stay warm. It was vacationtime, and the highways were full of families on the move. 2. Movingforward; going somewhere. The candidate promised that if […]...
12. Cow on Train Tracks A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees […]...
13. Dangerous Freeway Driving I do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in […]...
14. A Snail buys a fast New Car A snail buys a fast new car. There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail […]...
15. Happens For all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It’s a classic! In tribute to those ‘special’ customers we all love! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with […]...
16. A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the hitch-hiker wakes up,”what the hell was that?”. The truck driver replies, “some kinda animal, go back to sleep.” Further the same thing again, bang, “What the hell was that?”, […]...
17. Перевод слова passenger Passenger – пассажир Перевод слова Passenger liner – пассажирский лайнер first-class passenger – пассажир первого класса tourist-class passenger – пассажир туристического класса transit passenger – транзитный пассажир Neither the driver nor the Passengers were hurt. Ни водитель, ни пассажиры не были травмированы. Passengers for the next flight should go to the last gate. Пассажиры, улетающие […]...
18. Значение идиомы fire [fire] See: BALL OF FIRE, BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEAor BETWEEN TWO FIRES, BUILD A FIRE UNDER, BURNT CHILD DREADS THE FIRE, CATCH FIRE, DRAW FIRE, FAT’S IN THE FIRE, FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE, HANGFIRE, HEAP COALS OF FIRE ON ONE’S HEAD, HOLD ONE’S FIRE or HOLD FIRE, IRON IN THE FIRE, […]...
19. This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car. After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, “Do you want to move to the back seat?” She replies, “NO!” Flabbergasted, he says, “Why Not?” To which she replies, “Well, I want to stay up here with […]...
20. Stranger on an Airplane Fay: Excuse me. I’m in the Window seat. Dustin: Oh, sure. Let me get up and let you in. Fay: Thanks. Dustin: Are you traveling on business? Fay: Yes, I am. I’m Changing planes in Denver On my way to South Carolina, and then I’m Off to Georgia on Wednesday. There’s no rest for the […]...
21. Dealing With the Heat Jolene: I’m Sweating like a pig. When is this Heat wave going to end? Eric: I’ve no idea, but I’m Not moving a muscle until it does. Hand me that Pitcher of iced tea, would you? Jolene: Get it yourself. I’m not moving until it Drops below 80 Degrees. Eric: It’s not the Temperature. It’s […]...
22. A rather novel way to A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. “So what’s going on here?” he asks. The bikie replies “My mate here has […]...
23. Значение идиомы open fire [open fire] {v. phr.} To begin shooting. The big warship turnedits guns toward the enemy ship and opened fire. When the policemancalled to the robber to stop, he turned and suddenly opened fire....
24. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a […]...
25. An easy solution On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue […]...
26. Значение идиомы move a muscle [move a muscle] {v. phr.} To move even a very little. – Used innegative sentences and questions and with “if”. The deer stoodwithout moving a muscle until the hunter was gone. The girls wereso startled that they did not move a muscle. You’re sitting rightwhere you were when I left! Have you moved a muscle? […]...
27. Значение идиомы build a fire under [build a fire under] {v. phr.} To urge or force to action; get moving; arouse. The health department built a fire under the restaurant owner and got him to clean the place up by threatening to cancel his license....
28. Showing Immaturity Romero: Are you going to tell Amber that she can’t have Saturday Off of work or should I? Alice: You’d better tell her. I don’t think she’s going To take it well. Romero: I’ll do it, but I’m not looking forward to it. She can be really Immature when she doesn’t get what she wants. […]...
29. A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “ONE BURGER!” The cook, who’s even bigger, screams, “BUR-GER!” Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and […]...
30. Charged for speeding A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away […]...
31. Getting a Fresh Start Nico: I’m moving to Atlanta. I want a Fresh start. Celia: This is a surprise. I thought you were going To stick it out here and try To put the past behind you. Nico: There are too many Reminders here. I want a Clean slate. What’s done is done and I’m tired of Blame and […]...
32. Moving Edmundo: What are you doing? Ruth: Oh, I’m Packing. My Lease is up at the end of the month and I’m moving to Vancouver for six months while my boyfriend is finishing his degree at the university. Edmundo: Oh, wow, are you moving yourself or are you using a Moving company? Ruth: I’m renting a […]...
33. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
34. Перевод идиомы eagle eye, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: eagle eye Перевод: орлиный взгляд; с проницательным взглядом, проницательный Пример: The woman watched her young child with an eagle eye. Женщина проницательно следила за своим ребенком....
35. Like to screw? It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?,” he says. “That’s cool” says Bobby. Carrie’s […]...
36. CACTUSES AND DANCER The eagle flies in the sky. The parachuetist flies towards him. -Hello, dancer!-said the eagle.- -Why dancer? I am a parachuetist,-said the man. -Have you heard then there are big cactuses growing here? You will learn to dance....
37. Two guys are driving through Texas when Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that? The trooper says, “You’re in […]...
38. Alcohol vs Women A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.” “Yeah what happened?” asked the other. The first guy replies, “Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”...
39. A substitute for women A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.” “Yeah what happened?” asked his friend. The first guy replies, “Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”...
40. Fire and Firefighters Rebecca: Look, there’s Smoke coming from six Stories up. Hugh: Yes, I know. Didn’t you hear the Fire alarm go off upstairs a few minutes ago? Rebecca: No, but I’m really glad there’s a Fire station only a few blocks away. Hey look, there’s the Fire engine. Here come the Firefighters! Hugh: Yeah, let’s get […]...