A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere

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1. A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to […]...
2. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
3. A truck driver breaks down and A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it’s for. He replies “Oh that’s a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that […]...
4. Перевод слова truck Truck – грузовик Перевод слова Truck driver – водитель грузовика light truck – малотоннажный грузовой автомобиль to slam into a truck – врезаться в грузовик The Truck laboured up the hill. Грузовик с трудом взбирался вверх по склону. He has Trucked all his equipment. Он привез на грузовике все свое оборудование. He jumped into his […]...
5. Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, “Damn…3 .2 meters!” The second one looks furtively around and says, “No police, anywhere. We can go!”...
6. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop. “I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.” “Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Lets see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts juggling […]...
7. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks […]...
8. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you […]...
9. A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, […]...
10. Dangerous Freeway Driving I do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in […]...
11. Man cuts open truck to save kitten A hitchhiking feline in Florida has a 50-year-old truck owner to thank for her unusual rescue. Errand Frazier of Vero Beach wasn’t quite sure what to do at first when he heard purring coming from his Chevy pickup, parked outside his house in late May. He couldn’t see anything and wasn’t sure exactly where it […]...
12. Taking the Driving Test Cesar: I just took the Driving test. See this? That’s my new License. May: You have to give me the Play-by-play. I’m taking the test next week and I’m Freaking out. Cesar: There’s nothing to worry about. It was easy. May: I’m not worried about the written test. It’s the driving test I’m worried about. […]...
13. Juggler, driving to his next performance Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, […]...
14. Driving home very drunk It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before […]...
15. One day the teacher decides to play an animal game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
16. Значение идиомы sound truck [sound truck] {n. phr.} A truck equipped with loudspeakers. During the senatorial campaign, the streets of the big city were fullof sound trucks blaring out messages....
17. Two guys are driving through Texas when Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that? The trooper says, “You’re in […]...
18. Swerve to avoid a box Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain […]...
19. A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is now a deceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and down at everything it sees. One day the man comes home with a gorgeous […]...
20. Driving school test The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop […]...
21. California Driving Test Answers The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right […]...
22. Drinking and driving The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The “Environmental Engineering News” published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, […]...
23. Having Trouble Sleeping Luis: So, how are the Newlyweds doing? Stevie: Oh, we’re great. I’m just a little tired. Luis: Well, that Goes with the territory, right? Stevie: No, that’s not what I mean. Patrick has been keeping me up with his Snoring. Luis: Oh, that’s a Bummer. Stevie: Yeah, it really is. I’m usually Awakened soon after […]...
24. Do this while driving Strange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below “things to do while driving”, as all driving should be taken seriously. The below “things to do while driving” are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows […]...
25. Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red light. BB says, “Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!” BR replies, “Don’t worry, my brother does it all the time, it’s OK.” Then he does it again. BB: ” Damn it, you done it again!” […]...
26. A bus filled with politicians was driving through the A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next […]...
27. The hunting season This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED – ENTER AT OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks […]...
28. Driving in Great Britain – Вождение в Великобритании Welcome to the free Tourist Information Line for visitors to Great Britain. For information on visas and immigration, please press one. For information on driving in Britain, please press two. For information on hotels, please press three. For information on public transport in Britain, please press four. To return to this menu at any time […]...
29. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
30. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever […]...
31. A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. […]...
32. Значение идиомы day and night [day and night] or [night and day] {adv.} 1. For days without stopping; continually. Syn.: AROUND THE CLOCK. Some filling stations on great highways are open day and night 365 days a year. The three men took turns driving the truck, and they drove night and day for three days. 2. Every day and every […]...
33. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
34. Driving While Calling and Texting Pamela: [laughs] Did you see this Tweet from Sarah? She’s so funny. Josh: Hold on. I’m Texting Lance. I want to make sure he knows where we’re Meeting up. Pamela: [cell phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi Lance. Did you get Josh’s text? You didn’t? Let me IM you, bye. Josh: I wonder why Lance didn’t […]...
35. A kind of sport A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, “What the hell was that?” He replies, “Touchdown, I am […]...
36. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
37. Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother’s room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, “I want a man, I want a man.” Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory […]...
38. Save the dead rabbit A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
39. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, “Pig!” The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, “Bitch!” They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next […]...
40. Hair spray A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...