Texts

Bernadette: When you offered to give me a ride to work, I didn’t know you rode a Motorcycle. I’m not sure about this. Pawel: Come on, put on this Helmet and get on. You’ll get to work much faster. We can zip around cars and go between Lanes. Bernadette: That’s what I’m afraid of. Pawel: … Читать далее

Radiotrophic fungi are fungi which appear to use the pigment melanin to convert gamma radiation into chemical energy for growth. This proposed mechanism may be similar to anabolic pathways for the synthesis of reduced organic carbon (e. g., carbohydrates) in phototrophic organisms, which capture photons from visible light with pigments such as chlorophyll whose energy … Читать далее

Carlos: Did you get your Class schedule? Marianne: Yeah. You? Carlos: Yeah. Let’s see if we have any classes together. I have PE with Mr. Lopez and Social studies with Ms. Walters. How about you? Marianne: I have PE with Ms. Schwartz and social studies with Ms. Eng. Who do you have for Geography? I’m … Читать далее

Nick: I’m turning 40 this year and What do I have to show for it? Danielle: Actually, you’ve Accomplished a lot. Do you know what your problem is? Your Expectations are too high and your goals are Unattainable for most people. Nick: Not for me. They shouldn’t have been. I had my life all Planned … Читать далее

I read an article in the newspaper this morning about a man who had been On the lam for 12 years. He was Wanted by the police because they believed he had committed a murder. But before the man could go to trial, he Bolted and left the country. He has been on the “Most … Читать далее

Thanksgiving reminds us to be Grateful, but for a lot of people, the holiday also means a weekend of eating a lot and watching football. And, my family is No exception. My family likes to have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner each year. We invite people from our Extended family. We also invite close friends, especially … Читать далее

At my company, I have a choice of health insurance plans. We can pick between HMOs and PPOs, and I have been with the same Managed health plan for the past few years. It’s the plan that has the lowest Co-pays and the best Coverage, and the network of doctors is fairly large. The Drug … Читать далее

Call it the flip-side to torture: using seduction to extract valuable information. It’s as old as the Old Testament — literally. Delilah used deception and seduction to find out the secret of Samson’s strength. His hair was never to be cut. So off she went to tell the Philistines — and his precious braids were … Читать далее

Jin: Did you hear what happened to McQ Corp? Dina: No, what? Jin: Hackers were able to get Unauthorized access to its computer systems and cause a lot of problems over the weekend. They destroyed Data and Rendered the system Unusable. In fact, the entire system Crashed. Dina: I hadn’t heard that. Why McQ Corp? … Читать далее

Sarah: Come on! We only have two more hours before the stores close and I want to make it to the Outlet stores. Aidan: I thought that when you asked if I wanted to spend the day together, you meant we’d go somewhere for lunch, go to a movie, or just Hang out. Sarah: Isn’t … Читать далее

Tadashi: Was that Diane you were talking to Just now? Helen: Yeah, do you know her? Tadashi: Diane and I Used to work together. She looked happy. Helen: Yeah, she’s dating a new man. I just got The scoop. He’s not her usual Type. Tadashi: What do you mean? Helen: Well, he’s a little younger … Читать далее

Ivy: This is so sad! Stephan: What is? Ivy: I’m reading the Obituary for one of my favorite actors as a child, Mr. McBoo. He had Quite a life. Stephan: Oh, yeah? Ivy: Yeah, and this article has really Done him justice. It’s a nice Tribute to a man who Touched so many lives. It … Читать далее

I walked into the office and saw Rob with his Head down on his desk. I Tapped him on the shoulder. Christy: You look like you had a good New Year’s. Rob: Yeah, too good. I’m trying To catch up on sleep. Christy: Oh yeah? What did you do? Rob: I went to a New … Читать далее

Lenny: Wait a second. Where is my Wallet? Anita: It’s not in your back pocket? Lenny: No, it’s in none of my pockets. My Pocket’s been picked! Anita: It must have happened when our attention was Diverted by those boys fighting over there. Lenny: I should have been paying more attention in a busy market … Читать далее

On my way home from class, I Ran into Cara, a Schoolmate that I have not seen in a few months. I stopped to say hi to her. Mark: Hey Cara! How’s everything? Long time no see. Cara: Yeah! It’s been a while. I’m doing alright. What about you? Mark: Great! I’m excited about the … Читать далее

Luis: So, how are the Newlyweds doing? Stevie: Oh, we’re great. I’m just a little tired. Luis: Well, that Goes with the territory, right? Stevie: No, that’s not what I mean. Patrick has been keeping me up with his Snoring. Luis: Oh, that’s a Bummer. Stevie: Yeah, it really is. I’m usually Awakened soon after … Читать далее

Clerk: Can I help you find something? Alissa: Yes, I’m looking for some Dress shoes for work, something with a low Heel. Clerk: Have you tried this Brand? They make really comfortable shoes. This company makes several styles of dress shoes, including a Sandal, a low Boot, and a Loafer. These right here are Open … Читать далее

Russell: Hey, LeeAnn, you were an English Major, right? LeeAnn: Yes. Russell: Could you Proofread this for me? LeeAnn: I don’t know. Do you want me to proof it for Content or for Structure? Russell: For everything. LeeAnn: So you’re asking me To fact check all of the Facts and figures and To parse each … Читать далее

Attention, denizens of the Internet: As countless ex-boyfriends could have told you, Taylor Swift always gets the last laugh. Thousands of Facebook users banded together in recent weeks to hijack a contest in which the grand prize was a live concert by the Grammy-winning country singer. And with some 14,000 schools participating, the runaway winner … Читать далее

Spencer: I would love to see you in this Outfit: a Tank top and a Miniskirt. Lauren: No way! I wouldn’t look anything like that Mannequin. I’m too shy and I’d Make a fool of myself wearing such Revealing clothes. Spencer: That’s where you’re wrong. You would look great on the beach in that outfit … Читать далее

Romeo: What do you plan to do? Juliette: I don’t know! I can’t Defy my parents. They’ve been against our relationship from the start, and I’ve been Forbidden to see you. Romeo: It’s your life, not theirs. It’s time you Stood up to them and told them what you want. I’m tired of being a … Читать далее

Rodney: Ha-ha! Did you hear what I said? Funny, right? Samantha: Behave yourself! This is a serious and Solemn occasion, not a time for Levity. Rodney: Loosen up. We have To endure two hours of this ceremony. Samantha: It’s Indecent the way you’re behaving. Don’t you have any sense of Decorum? Rodney: Lighten up. You’re … Читать далее

I don’t think much of Stephen Mackaye any more, though I used to swear by him. I know that in those days I loved him more than my own brother. If ever I meet Stephen Mackaye again, I shall not be responsible for my actions. It passes beyond me that a man with whom I … Читать далее

Dr. van Eyck: Good morning, I’m Dr. van Eyck. I understand that you’re not feeling well. Nico: That’s right, doctor. I’ve had a Stomachache for three days. The pain Comes and goes, but I also have Heartburn and I am feeling Bloated all the time. Dr. van Eyck: Well, let’s take a look. Have you … Читать далее

Michael: Shall we? Robin: Oh, this is nice. Did you get a new car? Michael: No, this is a Company car. Getting to drive one is one of the Perks of my new job. Robin: Does your new position Call for a lot of driving? Michael: It does. As the Regional supervisor, I have To … Читать далее

Lisette: You’re the New kid on the block, aren’t you? Danny: Yeah, it’s my first day. Lisette: I’m Lisette. Danny: I’m Danny. Nice to meet you. Lisette: You’re lucky to be starting on the Day shift. When I started working here Umpteen years ago, I had to work the Graveyard shift for two years before … Читать далее

Gwen: Do you see that Heavyset guy over there, the one Towering over everyone else? Denzel: Yeah, what about him? Gwen: He’s my Ex-boyfriend. I haven’t seen him in years. When I knew him he was really Skinny. He’s really Put on a few pounds. It’s amazing what a few years can do. Denzel: None … Читать далее

I have been trying to Get up the nerve to ask my girlfriend to Marry me. We have been dating for almost a year and I think she’s The one. I went shopping for Engagement Rings and really hated the experience. I wasn’t sure what kind of ring she’d like and it took me a … Читать далее

I’ve been getting a lot of headaches the past few weeks and my co-worker suggested I go see an Optometrist. Dr. Olho: Okay, let’s take a look. Do you wear Glasses or Contacts? Virginia: I used to, but I had Laser eye surgery three years ago and I don’t wear them anymore. Dr. Olho: I … Читать далее

Asa: What can I get you to drink? Elizabeth: I’ll have a glass of water, thanks. Asa: Are you sure you don’t want something else? I have Soft drinks, Orange juice, Lemonade, and Fruit punch. Elizabeth: No, thanks. I’m trying to cut back on my Sugar intake. Asa: In that case, how about an Energy … Читать далее

I spent the day helping my friend, Babbit, on his farm. When I got home, my wife said, “You Stink!” I headed straight for the Shower. I Ran the water, closed the Shower curtain, and adjusted the Showerhead. I worked the soap into a Lather and Scrubbed from Head to toe. I Rinsed off the … Читать далее

There’s nothing quite like the classic Canadian apology. You won’t find people in any other country in the world who will say the word «sorry» to someone who is clearly in the wrong. This is a uniquely Canadian phenomenon. So unique, in fact, that the term carries legal weight in the province of Ontario. The … Читать далее

I’m looking to buy a house and I want a Single-family home. I have been living in a Townhouse for two years and I am tired of having Common walls and very small Yards. My new house will have to have a lot more Square footage, a large Lot size, an Open floor plan, great … Читать далее

This year marks the 40th anniversary of Vermont’s landmark billboard law, which prohibits roadside ads all across the Green Mountain State, allowing the green and the mountains to shine through. The proposal became law back in 1968 mostly thanks to the efforts of one man, Ted Riehle, a state legislator. Riehle faced stiff opposition from … Читать далее

Spencer: I’m practicing making drinks for the party tonight. Do you want to try one? Heidi: You’re the Bartender? I didn’t know you knew how To mix drinks. Spencer: I can Hold my own. Okay, Name it and I’ll make it – any Mixed drink or Cocktail. Heidi: Okay, I’ll have a Screwdriver. Spencer: A … Читать далее

Tara: How is your presentation Coming along? Stan: It’s okay, but I’m having trouble Simplifying some of the Key concepts without Dumbing them down too much. Tara: I think your Instincts are right. You’ll be presenting to Non-specialists, so it’s important to keep your presentation clear and simple. Stan: That’s my problem. How do I … Читать далее

Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back … Читать далее

Xica: I just got my paper back from Professor Rodriguez and it’s all Marked up. Lucas: Let me see. It doesn’t look too bad. This is a Draft, right? His note at the top says to make Revisions before handing in a final version. He’s trying to help you get a better grade. Xica: Maybe, … Читать далее

Helen: Okay, your schedule today is very busy. First, you’re meeting with a group of Constituents concerned about the environment. Then, you’re speaking to a group of factory workers. At noon, you’ll be having lunch with a group of High-power donors. Mikhail: When I Signed on as a candidate, I had no idea I’d have … Читать далее

Just one strong dose of hallucinogenic mushrooms can alter a person’s personality for more than a year and perhaps permanently, a new study finds. People given psilocybin, the compound in «magic mushrooms» that causes hallucinations and feelings of transcendence, demonstrated a more «open» personality after their experience, an effect that persisted for at least 14 … Читать далее

Marcela: All right, you’re ready for these Tryouts. You’ve passed your Physical. You’ve trained for months. You’re going To make that team. Kenji: It’s okay. I don’t need a Pep talk. I’m just going to do the best I can. Marcela: Yes, but you want To have your head in the right place. You’re going … Читать далее

Airport employee: Hello, Portland Airport, Lost and Found. Lucas: Hello. I was a passenger on a SunCal Airlines flight yesterday and I think I left my keys on the plane. Airport employee: I see. To Claim the item, you have to fill out a Claim form. What did you lose again? Some Luggage? You’ll need … Читать далее

Cherise: Rise and shine! Isn’t it a lovely day? I love Getting back to nature. There’s nothing like going Camping. How did you sleep? Evan: That was the most Miserable night of my life! Cherise: Really? What happened? Evan: I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard a bear. I … Читать далее

Perry: Look at her! What I wouldn’t give to get a Date with her. Lynn: You should go talk to her and ask her for her Number. Perry: No way! She’s completely Out of my league. See that guy she’s talking to? He’s the kind of guy who’ll get her number. Lynn: That guy Has … Читать далее

[doorbell rings] Otto: Hi, I’m Otto from Windows-R-Us. I’m here to show you the Window treatment options we offer and to take Measurements for Installation if you decide to order from our store. Jean: Hi, Otto. I’m Jean. Come on in. I want to get some new window treatments for the living room. Can you … Читать далее

Caterina: I can’t believe I let you Rope me into seeing this performance. It was so Lame! Oliver: Okay, you’re right, it was The pits. I had no idea it was going to be Amateur hour. When I saw the ad in the paper describing this as an Experimental play, I thought it might be … Читать далее

Jamal: Did you feel that? Keisha: Was that an Earthquake? Jamal: Yes, I think so. Turn on the news. Newscaster: “Reports are coming in about an earthquake that Occurred at 4:35 p. m. in the downtown area. We spoke with a Seismologist at the Earthquake Center and learned that the earthquake had a Magnitude of … Читать далее

My friends and I decided to do something a little different this year. Instead of going to a crowded club or throwing a party on New Year’s Eve, we decided to take a Harbor cruise instead. The cruise would be four hours long, and it included dinner, music, dancing, and a great view of the … Читать далее

Vivian: That News commentator should be Fired for making such Inflammatory comments. At least I won’t watch this show again until she is. William: As usual, you’re Making a mountain out of a molehill. She was just expressing her opinion, Albeit a Controversial one. Vivian: Her opinion is Offensive. Mark my words: Before the end … Читать далее

When I got home from work, I opened my mail. The letter Turned out to be a bombshell. I Held in my hand an invitation to my 10-year High school reunion. It was a shock because I couldn’t believe it had been 10 years. The first thing I did was to call my Oldest and … Читать далее