Dating a Younger Man/Woman

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1. Dating a Possessive Person Eliana: You’re here! I didn’t think you’d be able to come. Matt: Why? I like seeing a movie with my friends As much as the next guy. Eliana: Yeah, but it’s been weeks since we’ve seen you, ever since you started dating Helen. Matt: She doesn’t Own me. She’s a little Possessive, but I Put […]...
2. Internet Dating Kevin: I know a lot of people are doing it, but I’m not so sure about trying an Internet dating service. Eun: What do you have to lose? This website says that it Screens all of its members. Let’s look at some of the Profiles. Kevin: All right. We have to select the Criteria for […]...
3. Attending an Auction Diane: This is so exciting! I’ve never been to an Auction before. Martin: Sit down. It’s about to start. The Auctioneer is on the Podium with her Gavel and she’s ready to start the Bidding. Diane: Are you bidding on the first Lot? Martin: No, the Reserve is too high. See? The Opening bid is […]...
4. An older woman was in the pastoral study An older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming fourth wedding. “Father,” she said, “How am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?” “My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be,” he replied. “Well Father, my first husband was a […]...
5. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with […]...
6. Attending an Auction Diane: This is so exciting! I’ve never been to an Auction before. Martin: Sit down. It’s about to start. The Auctioneer is on the Podium with her Gavel and she’s ready to start the Bidding. Diane: Are you bidding on the first Lot? Martin: No, the Reserve is too high. See? The Opening bid is […]...
7. A tall woman met a midget at a party A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. “I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,” said the woman, “especially with the size […]...
8. Living in a Condo or Co-op Diane: I’m so Exasperated! I’m really tired of the Homeowner’s association in my condo building. Ricardo: What’s the matter with it? Diane: The people who sit on the condo association board are a bunch of Do-nothings. I’ve filed Complaint after complaint and they refuse To enforce the House rules. Ricardo: Well, that might not be […]...
9. An American woman and an Iranian woman An American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket. The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, “These remind me of my husband’s testicles.” The American woman says, “That big?” The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.”...
10. An old man and an old woman were sitting An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,”You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked.” The woman said, “Why don’t we try that again?” So they stripped and sat down at the table again. […]...
11. My Family I am Zhilin Andrey. Andrey is my name and Zhilin is my surname. I am seventeen years old. I want to tell you a few words about my family. My family is not large. I have got mother, father and grandmother. There are four of us in the family. First of all some words about […]...
12. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: “I don’t want to complain, but I think those […]...
13. A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin....
14. Dating a Friend’s Ex Fareed: Where are you going? Amber: I’m going to meet Peter. Fareed: When are you going to tell Lily? Amber: Tell her what? Fareed: You know what – that you’re dating her Ex. She’s not going To take it well. Amber: I don’t know why she would Object. They Broke up over a year ago […]...
15. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...
16. The woman’s secret At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.” “I don’t know about that,” huffily answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.” “You’ll let it out some day,” the […]...
17. Перевод слова woman Woman – женщина Перевод слова A woman with history – женщина с прошлым a woman of great insight – необыкновенно проницательная женщина likely young woman – привлекательная молодая женщина man born of woman – смертный The mugger assaulted the Woman. Грабитель напал на женщину. She is a very determined Woman. Она очень решительная женщина. She […]...
18. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.” The priest thought long and hard […]...
19. Great to be a woman Reason’s why it’s great to be a woman Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies. Speeding ticket? What’s that? New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud. If you’re not making enough money you can blame the […]...
20. A woman consulted a doctor A woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from excessive flatulance, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done nothing about it until now. So the Dr. took down all of her medical history, a process that took quite a while. At the end, the woman says, […]...
21. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
22. Dating. Свидания, встречи Свидания Are you married? Ты женат? / Ты замужем? No, I’m divorced. Нет, я разведен / разведена. Are you going out with someone? У тебя кто-нибудь есть? Are you dating anyone? Ты с кем-нибудь встречаешься? Sorry, I already have a girlfriend / boyfriend. Извини, у меня есть девушка / молодой человек. Can I take you […]...
23. Getting Political Support Helen: Okay, your schedule today is very busy. First, you’re meeting with a group of Constituents concerned about the environment. Then, you’re speaking to a group of factory workers. At noon, you’ll be having lunch with a group of High-power donors. Mikhail: When I Signed on as a candidate, I had no idea I’d have […]...
24. An elderly woman entered a large furniture store An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. “Is there something in particular I can show you?” he asked. “Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.” “You mean a sectional sofa,” he suggested. “Sectional schmectional.” she bitterly retorted. “All I want is an occasional piece in […]...
25. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m […]...
26. A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m […]...
27. A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: “What are you doing here today?” Woman: “Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me $5 for it.” Man: “Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.” The woman looked thoughtful for […]...
28. Eating Unhealthy Foods Helen: So, what’s for lunch? Gabe: Since you were nice enough to spend your Saturday morning Helping me out, I’ll make sandwiches for lunch. I know it Doesn’t sound like much, but I Make a mean sandwich. Helen: That sounds good, but you’re not going to use those Cold cuts, are you? Gabe: I was. […]...
29. ‘Missing’ woman unknowingly joins search for herself A woman who was reported missing from an Icelandic tour unwittingly joined a search for herself. According to the Reykjavik Grapevine, a woman described as “Asian, about 160cm, in dark clothing and speaks English well” was listed as missing Saturday near the Eldgjá volcanic canyon in southern Iceland. A search continued through the weekend with […]...
30. A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder. Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder…I’ll sleep with you.” Guy says: “An alligator?” Woman says: “Close enough”...
31. Dating Nice Guys and Bad Boys Jack: I’ve had it. I’m going to start Treating women like dirt. I’d get more dates. Alison: What brought this on? Jack: I Got dumped again by a woman who thinks I’m too nice – too nice! She says she wants to be with someone who’s more Assertive and Unpredictable. She didn’t say it In […]...
32. Formatting a Document Franz: I’ve just switched over to this program and I can’t figure out how To format my document. Can you help me? Helen: I can try. Let’s take a look. What do you want to do? Franz: I want to change the Margins so that I can fit more on a page. I don’t know […]...
33. One night, an 87-year-old woman One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to […]...
34. Two men and one woman Long, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 […]...
35. A woman selling apples in New York A woman selling apples in New York is puzzled by a man who always comes by, pays a quarter, but never picks up an apple. This goes on for some time until, one day, the woman runs after the man as he walks away. ‘I know why you are chasing after me… you want to […]...
36. A woman walks into her accountant’s office and A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks […]...
37. Scientists find woman who sees 99 million more colors than others Newcastle University neuroscientist Dr. Gabriele Jordan, recently announced that she has identified a woman who is a “tetrachromat,” that is, a woman with the ability to see much greater color depth than the ordinary person. According to Daily Mail, an ordinary person can perceive a million different hues of colors. The power to distinguish the […]...
38. A man and a woman are sitting next to each other A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. “My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said. “What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she […]...
39. A Generation Gap Carlos: Belinda, maybe you can explain it to me. My parents still don’t Get me. I got a couple of Tattoos and they Freaked out. Belinda: Why are you asking me? I may be a few years older than you are, but I don’t understand parents Any better than you do. They’re hopelessly Behind the […]...
40. A woman and her lover are on the bed A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close. “Oh, no, it’s my husband!” The man says, “Where’s your back door?” “We don’t have a back door” says the woman. The man then asks, “Well, where do you […]...