A pregnant woman is about to give birth

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1. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son... ...
2. A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m... ...
3. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to... ...
4. One day shortly after the birth of their new baby One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful... ...
5. Giving Birth in a Hospital It was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that... ...
6. A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn’t there, and she doesn’t want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital... ...
7. In the back woods of Arkansas In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To... ...
8. Tommy goes into a confessional box and says Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” The Priest says, “Is that you, Tommy? Tommy... ...
9. 3 pregnant women were waiting 3 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies. Suddnely the first expectant mother stops knitting,... ...
10. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house.... ...
11. Little girl walks into the bathroom A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks “What’s that?”... ...
12. Значение идиомы give birth to [give birth to] {v. phr.} 1. To bear live offspring. The mothergave birth to twin baby girls. 2. To bring about; create; occasion. Beethoven gave birth to a new kind... ...
13. Put it to a good use The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with... ...
14. A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals... ...
15. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed,... ...
16. The woman who gave birth for Hitler In 1936, Nazi supporter and school graduate Hildegard Trutz was recruited as one of Germany’s racially’pure’ women, chosen to sleep with SS officers in the hope of producing an Aryan... ...
17. Edward walks out of a bar Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”,... ...
18. A woman visits her physician A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: “Well, what can I... ...
19. A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced... ...
20. A woman came to the psychiatrist worried A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. “Doctor,” she said, “I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear... ...
21. Stolen Car Stolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I... ...
22. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband – he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too much about it,”... ...
23. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done... ...
24. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. “What’s your name?” she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers “My name’s Huey... ...
25. A young girl sees her father in the shower A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. “Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life,” he tells her, by way of... ...
26. Where lawers come from An anxious woman goes to her doctor. “Doctor,” she asks nervously, “can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?” “Certainly,” replies the doctor, “Where do you think lawyers come from?”...
27. Three calamities Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the first... ...
28. I own the fastest car A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world,... ...
29. A man walks into a doctor office A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter... ...
30. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove... ...
31. A man goes to a psychiatrist A man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what... ...
32. Subjects for a date A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there... ...
33. The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Doctor – who tells her to “take off all her clothes.” The Dentist – who tells her to “open wide.”... ...
34. A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man... ...
35. Some very common traits in two drunks A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man... ...
36. A woman walks into her accountant’s office and A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.”... ...
37. You can’t bring that dog in this bar A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!”... ...
38. This woman goes into a dentist’s office This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill... ...
39. Having a Baby Patrick: Hey, congratulations! I just heard that You’re expecting. How far along are you? Cindy: Thanks. I’m Four and a half months pregnant. It feels like it! I feel huge.... ...
40. Delivering a baby A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home... ...