Giving Birth in a Hospital

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1. Go to the hospital Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, “Congratulations sir, you’re the father... ...
2. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push... ...
3. Giving Bad News and Condolences I was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson.... ...
4. Giving Birth to Twins Jerome: Congratulations! I just heard that you’re Pregnant with Twins. Paula: Thanks. We’re very excited, although I’m a little worried about a Multiple birth. Jerome: I Come from a long... ...
5. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist.... ...
6. A dyslexic nurse Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her... ...
7. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and... ...
8. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done... ...
9. One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one... ...
10. Is this her first? A guy calls the hospital. He says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” He says, “No! This... ...
11. A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn’t there, and she doesn’t want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital... ...
12. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Больница (Hospital)” По-английски Перевод на русский Mary: Mum, I’m not feeling well today. Мэри: Мам, я неважно чувствую себя сегодня. Mum: What’s the matter, dear? Мама: В чем дело, дорогая? Mary: I... ...
13. Giving First Aid Jeng: What did you do this summer? Cynthia: I worked at a summer camp as a Nurse’s aide. I thought we would be giving simple First aid, but you wouldn’t... ...
14. A man went to the doctor to get a physical A man went to the doctor to get a physical, after the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news… he had cancer and alzheimers. The... ...
15. In the back woods of Arkansas In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To... ...
16. One day shortly after the birth of their new baby One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful... ...
17. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m... ...
18. Перевод слова false False – ошибочный, фальшивый, не настоящий Перевод слова False accusation – ложное обвинение false note – фальшивая нота false document – поддельный документ He registered at the hotel under a... ...
19. A folk remedy A man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving... ...
20. The woman who gave birth for Hitler In 1936, Nazi supporter and school graduate Hildegard Trutz was recruited as one of Germany’s racially’pure’ women, chosen to sleep with SS officers in the hope of producing an Aryan... ...
21. There was a young man in the Air Force There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well – endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force doctors and one Air Force nurse... ...
22. There was this man in a mental hospital There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after... ...
23. A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. “Congratulations,” said the nurse, “but don’t you think this is enough?” The woman replied, “Are you kidding? This is the... ...
24. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating... ...
25. Naming the kids One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But... ...
26. В больнице (At the hospital), лексика и слова по теме A medical centre – медицинский центр An outpatients department – поликлиника A university polyclinic – студенческая поликлиника A maternity home – родильный дом A reception – регистратура Surgery hours –... ...
27. Visiting a Patient in the Hospital George: You’re just In time. There’s only another 20 minutes until the end of Visiting hours. Inez: I got here as soon as I could. How is Uncle Peter? George:... ...
28. Перевод слова nurse Nurse – медсестра, нянька, сиделка; ухаживать Перевод слова To nurse a fire – поддерживать огонь maternity nurse – акушерка mental nurse – сиделка в психиатрической лечебнице nurse’s area – пост... ...
29. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son... ...
30. Once some boys got together to play poker Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who... ...
31. John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and... ...
32. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The... ...
33. The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom... ...
34. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely... ...
35. Don’t Forget! An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they... ...
36. Перевод слова labor Labor – труд, работа Перевод слова Labor of many moons – работа на большой срок labor certification – справка о наличии профессии labor-intensive commodity – трудоемкий товар labor hours contract... ...
37. Best kind of sex A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all... ...
38. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not... ...
39. Giving Compliments A friend from work, Nia, Asked a few of us over to her apartment to watch the game this Sunday and I was really nervous. I’ve always liked Nia and... ...
40. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but... ...