A painful adjustment
Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride.
“Well, you see, this morning when I got up,” he said, “I was barely awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser.”
I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn’t even think anything of it; that he could always say he left her some spending money.
“No no!” he half wailed/half said, “You don’t understand. She was half asleep too and gave me $30 change.”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- Значение идиомы fifty-fifty [fifty-fifty ] {adj.}, {informal} 1. Divided or shared equally. It will be a fifty-fifty arrangement; half the money for me and halffor you. 2. Half for and half against; half good and half bad. There is only a fifty-fifty chance that we will win the game. Compare: HALF AND HALF....
- Fake two dollar bill On my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a […]...
- Значение идиомы half-and-half [half-and-half ] {adj.} As much one thing as the other. Weasked the coach if more boys than girls were interested in debating, and he said it was about half-and-half. The show last night wasneither very good nor very poor – just half-and-half. Compare:FIFTY-FIFTY....
- Перевод слова dollar Dollar – доллар Перевод слова Thousand dollar bill – купюра в тысячу долларов to break a five-dollar banknote – разменять пятидолларовую банкноту half dollar – пол-доллара It cost three Dollars. Это стоит три доллара. I have a Dollar in coins. У меня есть доллар в монетах. I don’t have even a Dollar! У меня нет […]...
- Перевод идиомы divide something fifty-fifty / split something fifty-fifty, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: divide something fifty-fifty / split something fifty-fifty Перевод: разделить что-либо на две равные части Пример: We divided the money that we won fifty-fifty. Мы разделил деньги, которые выиграли, поровну....
- Значение идиомы go off half-cocked [go off half-cocked] also [go off at half cock] {v. phr.},{informal} To act or speak before getting ready; to do something toosoon. Bill often goes off half cocked. Mr. Jones was thinkingabout quilting his job, but his wife told him not to go at half cock....
- Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
- A hundred dollars A man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning to find his wife angry and waiting for him at the door. “Out drinking again!?” she says. “How much money did you spend this time?” “$100,” answers the man. “$100!” she shouts. “That’s ridiculous, spending that much in one night!” “Easy for you […]...
- Naming the kids One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing […]...
- After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. “Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.” “Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t make a living on that.” “Oh, don’t worry,” the whore […]...
- The most painful part A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, “How is it that you know so much about baseball?” She says, “Well, I […]...
- Значение идиомы spending money [spending money] or [pocket money] {n.} Money that is given to aperson to spend. When the seniors went to New York City on a trip, each was given $10 in spending money. Father gave John a nickel inpocket money when he went to the store with Mother....
- Значение идиомы time and a half [time and a half] {n. phr.} Pay given to a worker at a rate halfagain as much as he usually gets. John got time and a half when heworked beyond his usual quitting time. Tom gets one dollar forregular pay and a dollar and a half for time and a half....
- Devil herself A fellow’s wife was very worried about her husband’s heavy drinking and one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the […]...
- Breakfast was my idea It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his […]...
- A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored […]...
- Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...
- Перевод идиомы queer as a three-dollar bill, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: queer as a three-dollar bill Перевод: очень странный Пример: The woman is the strangest person that I have ever seen and she is as queer as a three-dollar bill. Эта женщина – самый странный человек, которого я когда-либо встречал, она очень чудаковатая....
- A push A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to […]...
- What Not to Name Your Dog Everybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog “Sex”. When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said “I’d like one too.” But then I said “This is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked […]...
- Giving Birth in a Hospital It was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, […]...
- Nerds versus jocks An answer to the eternal question “Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?” Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game: $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he’ll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)! Assuming he sleeps 7 […]...
- Get-Rich-Quick Schemes Bill: What are you watching? Susan: I’m watching a really interesting TV program. It’s about how to make a lot of money quickly and easily. Bill: Are you watching an Infomercial? Those things are Scams! You should know better than To fall for some Get-rich-quick scheme. Susan: This isn’t a scam. This program is about […]...
- Irish Laughs Casey married a rich widow, but they didn’t get along. One day she said to him, “If it wasn’t for my money, that new television wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, that grand piano wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, this house wouldn’t be here.” Casey mumbled, “If it […]...
- Перевод слова fifty Fifty – пятьдесят Перевод слова A man of fifty – пятидесятилетний человек Chapter fifty – пятидесятая глава within a radius of fifty miles – в радиусе пятидесяти миль He is over Fifty. Ему за пятьдесят. The coat was below Fifty dollars! Пальто стоило меньше пятидесяти долларов! He left me a lousy Fifty cent tip. Он […]...
- Best riddles part 5 Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long? Ответ: At a yard sale. How many times can you subtract 6 from 30? Ответ: Only once, after that it is no longer 30. —————————————– What number can you subtract half from to obtain a result that is zero? Ответ: The number 8 – […]...
- Two neighbors had been fighting each other Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year […]...
- The painful execution The huge black dude was getting ready for the electric chair – he had been found guilty of rape and murder. The witnesses to the execution were astonished when the prisoner’s pant leg was cut and a tiny electrode was prepared to be placed on his penis. “Hey don’t look so surprised” the condemned man […]...
- Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying […]...
- A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
- A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
- An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man […]...
- An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
- Psychoanalysis One of Sigmund Freud’s early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. “Oh, it’s just terrible,” she wailed. “Today the doctor told me I’m […]...
- Fun fun fun worry worry worry A teacher said to her little student Suzy, “Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry.” Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, “Let’s see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!”...
- A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you’d expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back […]...
- It is written in the Bible! There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. “It’s O. K.,” he replied, “it’s written in […]...
- You Can Never Really Go Back You Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.” “Yeah,” she replied, “Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting […]...
- A kind of sport A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, “What the hell was that?” He replies, “Touchdown, I am […]...
- There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a […]...