A novel grasp on marriage

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1. Going to a Wedding I got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and […]...
2. Wedding preparation guidelines Announcement: It is the responsibility of the bride’s family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); […]...
3. Weddings Очень интересный топик Свадьбы познакомит вас со свадебными традициями и обрядами Великобритании и США. Вы узнаете, что существует так называемая “белая свадьба”, что из вещей обязательно должна иметь при себе невеста и кто такой “грум”. А знаете ли вы, что жених не должен видеться с невестой в день свадьбы, и кому жених доверяет обручальные кольца? […]...
4. The wedding is offno on! All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and […]...
5. A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” […]...
6. A staged wedding to bust dealers As supposedly reported on CNN: Undercover police, staging the wedding of “a drug kingpin’s daughter”, let it be known on the street that dealers were “invited” (i. e. Expected to attend). The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was “S. […]...
7. Перевод слова ceremony Ceremony – церемония, торжество Перевод слова Without ceremony – запросто, без церемоний wedding ceremony – обряд бракосочетания formal ceremony – официальная церемония The Ceremony is about to begin. Церемония вот-вот начнется. He disposed of it without Ceremony. Он распоряжался без церемоний. The Ceremony was of short duration. Церемония была короткой. Интересные факты Свадьба (Ceremony) – […]...
8. Anybody Home? A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, “Is […]...
9. Перевод слова wedding Wedding – свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding – венчание members of the wedding – гости на свадьбе penny wedding – свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to be? Когда будет свадьба? It’s a video of our Wedding. Это видео нашей свадьбы. He suddenly appeared at the Wedding. Он появился на свадьбе неожиданно....
10. A Change Of Vows During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d […]...
11. Repetitiveness After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride […]...
12. Marriage quotes 06 I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. – Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at […]...
13. Свадьба/ Wedding На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Wedding Свадьба Wedding is a very important and special occasion. It’s a day when two people in love get married. Different countries follow different traditions during the wedding. For example, in our country couples go to a local registry office and then to church. After that, they organize […]...
14. A Traditional Wedding I arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’d attended a religious one. They had asked a Minister To Officiate. When I arrived, Karin and her Fiance, Jan, were standing in front […]...
15. Перевод слова reception Reception – прием, принятие, получение Перевод слова Diplomatic reception – дипломатический прием favourable reception – благоприятный прием official reception – официальный прием the reception and funds – получение средств reception desk – конторка портье Примеры из жизни Зона Приема гостей в отеле, на конференции и т. п. называется “ресепшен” (слово заимствовано от английского reception)....
16. Planning a Wedding Seamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many things to plan. We have to book the Hall far in advance, you know, and once we Set the date, we have to send out […]...
17. Some practical jokes Smaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either […]...
18. AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS: – Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift. – Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom. – When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is. – Kissing the bride for more than […]...
19. A visual joke (This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG […]...
20. Перевод слова bride Bride – невеста Перевод слова To take a bride – выбрать невесту portionless bride – невеста без приданого yearling bride – год как замужем I give you the Bride and groom! Я предлагаю выпить за жениха и невесту! He and his Bride boarded the train. Он со своей невестой сел в поезд. The Bride and […]...
21. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
22. On their honeymoon night On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, “I can’t wear your pants.” “That’s right,” intoned the groom, “And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.” The bride […]...
23. Marriage quotes 09 Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage […]...
24. Watch out! A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is […]...
25. Marriage quotes 04 A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. – Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. – Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist […]...
26. A painful adjustment Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride. “Well, you see, this morning when I got up,” he said, “I was barely awake […]...
27. A young couple got married, and in their family A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between […]...
28. This snow plow driver from North Dakota This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready. The man then asked if […]...
29. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
30. Could you please pass The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.” Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” […]...
31. Marriage quotes 08 Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. – Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties […]...
32. Marriage quotes 01 Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence – a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s […]...
33. Marriage quotes 12 Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. – W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled […]...
34. That is ONE! A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one and on the day she was […]...
35. Значение идиомы spit [spit] or [piss into the wedding cake] {v. phr.}, {vulgar},{avoidable} To spoil someone’s pleasure or celebration by doing orsaying something harsh or unseemly in an otherwise happy gathering;bring up depressing or unhappy subjects at a supposedly happy time. Stuart really spit into the wedding cake when he told Burt in abragging fashion that Lucy, Burl’s […]...
36. Famous people Eugene d’Albert (noted German composer) was married six times. At an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely, “Congratulations, Herr d’Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so charming a wife.” During a visit to America, Winston Churchill was […]...
37. On their wedding night the husband was so self On their wedding night the husband was so self – conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. “That’s thoughtful, darling,” she cooed, “but we’ll need the light if you want to […]...
38. Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
39. Перевод слова page Page – страница Перевод слова At the bottom of the page – внизу страницы front-page headlines – заголовки передовиц the layout of the text on the page – размещение текста на странице page layout – макет страницы There is a Page missing. Здесь недостает страницы. See Page 11. Смотрите на стр. 11. Leave the last […]...
40. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each […]...