AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS

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1. Wedding preparation guidelines Announcement: It is the responsibility of the bride’s family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); […]...
2. Going to a Wedding I got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and […]...
3. A staged wedding to bust dealers As supposedly reported on CNN: Undercover police, staging the wedding of “a drug kingpin’s daughter”, let it be known on the street that dealers were “invited” (i. e. Expected to attend). The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was “S. […]...
4. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...
5. Перевод слова avoid Avoid – избегать, остерегаться, уклоняться Перевод слова To avoid collision – избежать столкновения a fatality that it was hopeless to avoid – судьба, которой нельзя было избежать to avoid ambiguity – избежать неясности in order to avoid – во избежание Let’s Avoid a confrontation. Давайте избегать конфронтации. Why do you keep Avoiding me? Почему ты […]...
6. Перевод слова wedding Wedding – свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding – венчание members of the wedding – гости на свадьбе penny wedding – свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to be? Когда будет свадьба? It’s a video of our Wedding. Это видео нашей свадьбы. He suddenly appeared at the Wedding. Он появился на свадьбе неожиданно....
7. Attending an Ex’s Wedding Andy: What did you do last weekend? Yuka: I went to Jamal’s Wedding. Andy: Jamal?! Your Ex Jamal? Yuka: Yes, that Jamal. Andy: He Had the nerve to invite you to his wedding? Yuka: I actually thought it was nice of him to invite me. Whatever happened between us years ago is Water under the […]...
8. Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […]...
9. Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said […]...
10. Planning a Wedding Seamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many things to plan. We have to book the Hall far in advance, you know, and once we Set the date, we have to send out […]...
11. A Change Of Vows During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d […]...
12. Свадьба/ Wedding На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Wedding Свадьба Wedding is a very important and special occasion. It’s a day when two people in love get married. Different countries follow different traditions during the wedding. For example, in our country couples go to a local registry office and then to church. After that, they organize […]...
13. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Свадьба (The Wedding)” По-английски Перевод на русский Sarah: Hi, Jenkins. How are you? Сара: Привет, Дженкинс. Как дела? Jenkins: Hi, Sarah. I’m fine, thank you. Why weren’t you present atLiza’s wedding? Дженкинс: Привет, Сара. У меня все хорошо, спасибо. Отчего ты не присутствовала на свадьбе Лизы? Sarah: Well, I was invited to my cousin’s birthday that day and […]...
14. Swerve to avoid a box Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain […]...
15. An old man goes into the Social Security Office An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, […]...
16. Picking a Wardrobe I’m one of those people who doesn’t have much of a Fashion sense. I mean, I know that you shouldn’t wear a pink shirt with green pants, but beyond that I’m pretty much a Basket case when it comes to picking my Wardrobe. I have plenty of Short-sleeve and Long-sleeve dress shirts, some have a […]...
17. A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?” The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.” His friend says, “You […]...
18. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
19. On their wedding night the husband was so self On their wedding night the husband was so self – conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. “That’s thoughtful, darling,” she cooed, “but we’ll need the light if you want to […]...
20. Значение идиомы at leisure [at leisure] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} 1. Not at work; not busy; with free time; at rest. Come and visit us some evening when you’re at leisure. 2. or [at one’s leisure] When and how you wish at your convenience; without hurry. John made the model plane at his leisure. You may read the book […]...
21. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.” His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, […]...
22. Перевод слова leisure Leisure – досуг, свободное время Перевод слова Leisure hours – часы досуга life of leisure – праздная жизнь leisure centre – центр досуга Do it at your Leisure. Сделайте это, когда вам будет удобно. How do you spend your Leisure? Как вы проводите свой досуг? I don’t have much time for Leisure. У меня не […]...
23. Перевод идиомы avoid (someone or something) like the plague, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: avoid (someone or something) like the plague Перевод: сильно избегать кого-либо или что-либо, бежать от кого-либо или чего-либо как от чумы Пример: The girls avoided the new student like the plague. Девушки избегали нового студента как чумы....
24. Weddings Очень интересный топик Свадьбы познакомит вас со свадебными традициями и обрядами Великобритании и США. Вы узнаете, что существует так называемая “белая свадьба”, что из вещей обязательно должна иметь при себе невеста и кто такой “грум”. А знаете ли вы, что жених не должен видеться с невестой в день свадьбы, и кому жених доверяет обручальные кольца? […]...
25. For their 25th wedding anniversary For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, “This was the most wonderful gift I could have […]...
26. Repetitiveness After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride […]...
27. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he […]...
28. Перевод слова rent Rent – арендная плата, аренда, прокат Перевод слова Fabulous rent – заоблачная квартирная плата increment of rent – надбавка к арендной плате to rent a flat – снимать квартиру They are late with the Rent. Они не заплатили вовремя за аренду. How much Rent do you pay? Сколько вы платите за аренду? The landlord says […]...
29. Finding a Roommate Carlos: Now that your boyfriend has moved out, you need a Roommate. There’s no way you can Afford this apartment on your own. Inez: I know, but I really don’t want to live with a Stranger. I’d have To put up with all of their Quirks. Carlos: I don’t think you have a choice. You […]...
30. Перевод слова effective Effective – результативный, эффективный, успешный Перевод слова Effective co-operation – плодотворное сотрудничество effective measures – действенные меры the first effective shot – первый результативный выстрел The operation was Effective. Операция прошла успешно. One of the greatest and most Effective balls is the “bean ball”. Один из самых эффектных ударов – это удар головой. The painting […]...
31. The wedding is offno on! All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and […]...
32. Selecting Window Treatments [doorbell rings] Otto: Hi, I’m Otto from Windows-R-Us. I’m here to show you the Window treatment options we offer and to take Measurements for Installation if you decide to order from our store. Jean: Hi, Otto. I’m Jean. Come on in. I want to get some new window treatments for the living room. Can you […]...
33. My position about wedding So, speaking about weddings, I would like to mention first that I don’t understand people, who are getting married at the age of 17-20, it’s hideous. Cause they don’t realize that they’ll break their lives by divesting themselves of the greatest years. Cause at that age they all are still children and children can only […]...
34. A few words of wisdom “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone “Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.” – George Carlin “You have to stay in shape. My […]...
35. Some practical jokes Smaller or larger tuxedo A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either […]...
36. Перевод слова shirt Shirt – рубашка, сорочка Перевод слова Check shirt – клетчатая рубашка flaxen shirt – льняная рубаха sports shirt – рубашка-поло Have you ironed my Shirt? Вы погладили мою рубашку? Tuck in your Shirt. Заправь рубаху. This Shirt is all worn out. Рубашка совсем износилась....
37. I just trying to be helpful A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk “do you live here?” “Yep”. “Would you like me to help you upstairs?” “Yep”. When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked “Is this your floor?” […]...
38. Dating hints for men There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date… I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you. I used to come […]...
39. Helpful advice for travellers Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you. BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?...
40. A Traditional Wedding I arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’d attended a religious one. They had asked a Minister To Officiate. When I arrived, Karin and her Fiance, Jan, were standing in front […]...