⇒
⇒


The wedding is offno on!

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and muttering, the guests repaired to the parking lot, grumbling about their missed opportunity for free beer. One guest, a friend of the bride’s father, held back, and approached him. “What’s the problem?” he asked. “Someone stole a keg of beer, and some bastard fucked the bride!”, exclaimed the father. The guest, taken aback, and rendered speechless, left the church, joining the other farmers. A few minutes later, the father reappeared and yelled “All right! Everyone back inside! The weddin’s on again!” As the farmers filed back into the church, the friend again approached the father of the bride, and asked “What happened to make you change your mind?” Grinning sheepishly, he replied, “Oh, well, we… uh… we found the keg of beer.”


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)


Related topics:

  1. Going to a Wedding I got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d... ...

  2. Перевод слова wedding Wedding – свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding – венчание members of the wedding – гости на свадьбе penny wedding – свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to... ...

  3. A Traditional Wedding I arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while... ...

  4. A novel grasp on marriage The child was a typical four-year-old girl – cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull... ...

  5. A staged wedding to bust dealers As supposedly reported on CNN: Undercover police, staging the wedding of “a drug kingpin’s daughter”, let it be known on the street that dealers were “invited” (i. e. Expected to... ...

  6. AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS: – Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift. – Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding?... ...

  7. Wedding preparation guidelines Announcement: It is the responsibility of the bride’s family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook... ...

  8. Свадьба/ Wedding На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Wedding Свадьба Wedding is a very important and special occasion. It’s a day when two people in love get married. Different countries follow... ...

  9. On their wedding night the husband was so self On their wedding night the husband was so self – conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed,... ...

  10. Planning a Wedding Seamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many... ...

  11. Weddings Очень интересный топик Свадьбы познакомит вас со свадебными традициями и обрядами Великобритании и США. Вы узнаете, что существует так называемая “белая свадьба”, что из вещей обязательно должна иметь при себе... ...

  12. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.” His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that.... ...

  13. Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession... ...

  14. A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?” The big... ...

  15. A Change Of Vows During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and... ...

  16. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Свадьба (The Wedding)” По-английски Перевод на русский Sarah: Hi, Jenkins. How are you? Сара: Привет, Дженкинс. Как дела? Jenkins: Hi, Sarah. I’m fine, thank you. Why weren’t you present atLiza’s wedding? Дженкинс: Привет,... ...

  17. Attending an Ex’s Wedding Andy: What did you do last weekend? Yuka: I went to Jamal’s Wedding. Andy: Jamal?! Your Ex Jamal? Yuka: Yes, that Jamal. Andy: He Had the nerve to invite you... ...

  18. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid!... ...

  19. For their 25th wedding anniversary For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip... ...

  20. Course of action One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. “Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That... ...

  21. Before performing a baptism, the priest approached Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?” “I think so,” the man replied. “My... ...

  22. Could you please pass The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I... ...

  23. A young couple got married, and in their family A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced... ...

  24. Значение идиомы foot the bill [foot the bill] {v. phr.} To cover the expenses of; pay forsomething. The bride’s father footed two-thirds of the bill for hixdaughter’s wedding. Compare: PICK UP THE TAB....

  25. My position about wedding So, speaking about weddings, I would like to mention first that I don’t understand people, who are getting married at the age of 17-20, it’s hideous. Cause they don’t realize... ...

  26. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says,... ...

  27. Перевод слова bride Bride – невеста Перевод слова To take a bride – выбрать невесту portionless bride – невеста без приданого yearling bride – год как замужем I give you the Bride and... ...

  28. A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?” The little boy... ...

  29. That is ONE! A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So... ...

  30. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her... ...

  31. On their honeymoon night On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, “I can’t... ...

  32. Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let... ...

  33. Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer.... ...

  34. A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest…the grass was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached the Father for... ...

  35. One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the... ...

  36. Перевод слова guest Guest – гость, принимать гостей Перевод слова Be my guest! – будьте моим гостем! paying guest – жилец частного пансиона he was royally guested – его принимали по-королевски The Guest... ...

  37. A historical example A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took... ...

  38. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How... ...

  39. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne,... ...

  40. A painful adjustment Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ask exactly what... ...