Five fingers

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1. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18 An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. “Oh honey”, said the young nymph, “Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?” “No”, said the old man, “It means you can take your pick.”...
2. Where are the fingers? Jon’s working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.” Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.” The doctor says, “What do […]...
3. Перевод слова fingers Fingers – пальцы Перевод слова Dexterous fingers – ловкие пальцы to count on one’s fingers – считать на пальцах to snap one’s fingers – щелкать пальцами He snapped his Fingers. Он щелкнул пальцами. We ate with our Fingers. Мы ели руками. His Fingers turned to thumbs. Его пальцы одеревенели. Происхождение слова fingers Множественное число для […]...
4. Значение идиомы cross one’s fingers [cross one’s fingers] {v. phr.} 1a. To cross two fingers of one hand for good luck. Mary crossed her fingers during the race so that Tom would win. 1b. or [keep one’s fingers crossed] {informal} To wish for good luck. Keep your fingers crossed while I take the test. 2. To cross two fingers of […]...
5. Значение идиомы sticky fingers [sticky fingers] {n. phr.}, {slang} 1. The habit of stealing thingsyou see and want. Don’t leave money in your locker; some of theboys have sticky fingers. Don’t leave that girl alone in the roomwith so many valuable objects around, because she has sticky fingers. 2. Ability to catch a ball, especially football forward passes. Jack […]...
6. Значение идиомы slip through one’s fingers [slip through one’s fingers] {v. phr.} To escape without someone’sknowing how. Policemen surrounded the building, but the thiefmanaged to slip through their fingers. Mike earns a good wage, buthe doesn’t save a penny. Money just slips through his fingers....
7. Значение идиомы burn one’s fingers [burn one’s fingers] {v. phr.}, {informal} To get in trouble doing something and fear to do it again; learn caution through an unpleasant experience. He had burned his fingers in the stock market once, and didn’t want to try again. Some people can’t be told; they have to burn their fingers to learn....
8. Значение идиомы snap one’s fingers at [snap one’s fingers at] {v. phr.} To show contempt for; show norespect for; pay no attention to; scorn; disregard. John snappedhis fingers at the sign that said “Do not enter,” and he went in thedoor. The highway sign said “Speed limit, 35 miles per hour,” butwhen a driver snapped his fingers at it by going […]...
9. A young blonde woman is distraught A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband […]...
10. Значение идиомы work one’s fingers to the bone [work one’s fingers to the bone] {v. phr.} To work very hard. “Ihave to work my fingers to the bone for a measly pittance of asalary,” Fred complained....
11. Перевод идиомы keep one’s fingers crossed, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: keep one’s fingers crossed Перевод: скрестить пальцы; надеяться на хорошее Пример: Please keep your fingers crossed that I will pass my exam. Пожалуйста, скрести за меня пальцы, чтобы я сдал экзамен....
12. Could you please pass The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.” Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” […]...
13. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
14. Перевод слова darling Darling – дорогой, любимый Перевод слова My darling son – мой любимый сын darling of fortune – баловень судьбы my darling – любимая You are such a Darling, John. Ты просто прелесть, Джон. What a Darling little house! Какой милый домик! Don’t worry, Darling, Daddy’s here. Не волнуйся, дорогая, папа здесь....
15. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “I’ll keep my fingers crossed” Peters Питерз Please have a seat. Пожалуйста, присаживайтесь. Albert Альберт Thank you. Спасибо. Peters Питерз I’m Mr. Peters. The personnel manager. What can I do for you? Я – мистер Питерз, начальник отдела кадров. Чем могу вам помочь? Albert Альберт I am looking for a position as a sales representative. Я бы хотел получить должность […]...
16. The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn’t sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, “Compared to what?” She held up one finger and asked if I […]...
17. On their wedding night the husband was so self On their wedding night the husband was so self – conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. “That’s thoughtful, darling,” she cooed, “but we’ll need the light if you want to […]...
18. Gift for a birthday A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses… one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that […]...
19. Перевод слова delight Delight – удовольствие, наслаждение Перевод слова With delight – с удовольствием, с наслаждением to delight the eye – радовать глаз I am delighted with you – я восхищаюсь вами Children Delight in contact with animals. Дети в восторге от общения с животными. To my great Delight, our guests arrived on time. К моему большому удовольствию […]...
20. Перевод слова wedding Wedding – свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding – венчание members of the wedding – гости на свадьбе penny wedding – свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to be? Когда будет свадьба? It’s a video of our Wedding. Это видео нашей свадьбы. He suddenly appeared at the Wedding. Он появился на свадьбе неожиданно....
21. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire.” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, […]...
22. Women seeking men “WOMEN SEEKING MEN” Classifieds 40-ish means: 48 Adventurer means: Has had more partners than you ever will Affectionate means: Possessive Artist means: Unreliable Average looking means: You figure this one out Beautiful means: Pathological liar Commitment-minded means: Pick out curtains, now! Communication important means: Just try to get a word in edgewise Contagious Smile means: […]...
23. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
24. Stagecoach surprise I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into […]...
25. Перевод слова young Young – молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man – здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow – молодой человек young idea – свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы […]...
26. Safe sex A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around. Teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases […]...
27. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
28. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.” The priest thought long and hard […]...
29. Biologist experiment There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says “Jump frog, jump!”. The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops […]...
30. Перевод слова fellow Fellow – человек, парень, тип; товарищ, собрат Перевод слова A fellow can’t work all day long – не может же человек работать весь день jolly fellow – веселый малый fellows at school – товарищи по школе Oh, isn’t he a duck of a Fellow? Не правда ли, он просто прелесть? A tight Fellow! Хороший парень! […]...
31. Feeling small: Fingers can detect nano-scale wrinkles even on a seemingly smooth surface Our sense of touch is clearly more acute than many realize. A new study by Swedish scientists demystifies the “unknown sense” with first-ever measurements of human tactile perception. In a ground-breaking study, Swedish scientists have shown that people can detect nano-scale wrinkles while running their fingers upon a seemingly smooth surface. The findings could lead […]...
32. It was obvious After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought: This fellow doesn’t look like a […]...
33. Значение идиомы finger [finger] See: BURN ONE’S FINGERS, CROSS ONE’S FINGERS or KEEP ONE’SFINGERS CROSSED, LAY A FINGER ON, LIFT A FINGER, PUT ONE’S FINGER ONalso LAY ONE’S FINGER ON, SLIP THROUGH ONE’S FINGERS, SNAP ONE’SFINGERS AT, STICKY FINGERS, TWIST AROUND ONE’S LITTLE FINGER, WORKONE’S FINGERS TO THE BONE....
34. Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...
35. This snow plow driver from North Dakota This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready. The man then asked if […]...
36. One day the teacher decides to play an animal game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
37. Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times. One says to the other, “Darling, do you remember the minuet?” The other replies, “Sweetheart, I can’t even remember the ones I screwed!”...
38. On their first night to be together On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. […]...
39. When asked for her occupation When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court,” he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through a red […]...
40. Planning a Wedding Seamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many things to plan. We have to book the Hall far in advance, you know, and once we Set the date, we have to send out […]...