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1. Giving Birth in a HospitalIt was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, ... Читать далее...
2. Go to the hospitalFour expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, «Congratulations sir, you’re the father of twins.» «What a coincidence!» the man said with some obvious pride. «I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.» The nurse returned in a ... Читать далее...
3. A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boyA woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn’t there, and she doesn’t want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital insists that the babies must be named by the end of the day. Crazy Uncle Louie overhears this and he names them (unbeknowst to the ... Читать далее...
4. A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th childA woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. «Congratulations,» said the nurse, «but don’t you think this is enough?» The woman replied, «Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.»...
5. Значение идиомы visiting nurse[visiting nurse] {n.} A nurse who goes from home to home takingcare of sick people or giving help with other health problems. After John returned home from the hospital, the visiting nurse cameeach day to change his bandages....
6. Значение идиомы be in labor[be in labor] {v. phr.} To be in parturition; experience the contractions of child birth. Vane had been in labor for eight hours before her twin daughters were finally born....
7. Перевод слова sendSend — отправлять, посылать, передавать, извещать Перевод слова To send a warning — послать предупреждение to send a case to hospital — направить больного в больницу send to me in the morning — известите меня утром Send him where he wants. Пошлите его туда, куда он хочет. I’ll Send a copy to you. Я пришлю ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова nurseNurse — медсестра, нянька, сиделка; ухаживать Перевод слова To nurse a fire — поддерживать огонь maternity nurse — акушерка mental nurse — сиделка в психиатрической лечебнице nurse’s area — пост медсестры The Nurse gave the patient an enema. Медсестра поставила больному клизму. He’s been Nursing an elderly relative. Он присматривает за престарелым родственником. I’m training ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод идиомы meet the requirements (for something), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: meet the requirements (for something) Перевод: удовлетворять требованиям Пример: The new nurse does not meet the requirements to be a nurse in our hospital. Новая медсестра не удовлетворяет условиям, чтобы быть медсестрой в нашей больнице....
10. I often feel guiltySheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. «Doctor, you must help me,» she pleaded. «It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a ... Читать далее...
11. Santas DiversionSantas Diversion Santa was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman was awaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying «Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know.» Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to ... Читать далее...
12. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husbandA wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, «You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!» Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, ... Читать далее...
13. A man was taking his wifeA man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, «Don’t worry, everybody ... Читать далее...
14. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctorThree nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, «I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, «Well, I did worse ... Читать далее...
15. Calling an AmbulanceBrad: Are you all right? Lydia: What…what happened? Brad: You Lost consciousness and someone called 911. My name is Brad and I’m a Paramedic. Can you answer a few questions for me? Lydia: I’ll try. Brad: Have you ever Blacked out before? Lydia: No, I don’t think so. Brad: Do you have A history of ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова laborLabor — труд, работа Перевод слова Labor of many moons — работа на большой срок labor certification — справка о наличии профессии labor-intensive commodity — трудоемкий товар labor hours contract — контракт с оплатой рабочего времени She had a difficult Labor. У нее был нелегкий труд. He rested from his Labors. Он отдыхал от своих ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова calmCalm — спокойный, тихий, безветреный Перевод слова Pray, be calm! — пожалуйста, успокойтесь! calm madness — тихое помешательство calm temper — спокойный, ровный характер Calm down, there’s nothing to worry about. Успокойся, волноваться не о чем. The wind seems to be Calming down at last. Ветер, кажется, стихает. The seas were dead Calm. В открытом ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова hospitalHospital — больница, госпиталь Перевод слова Mental hospital, hospital for the insane — психиатрическая больница hospital attendant — санитар больницы hospital bill — счет за лечение в больнице She works at Hospital. Она работает в больнице. Hurry them to the Hospital! Быстро отправьте их в больницу. She phoned the Hospital daily. Она звонила в больницу ... Читать далее...
19. A dyslexic nurseTwo doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. «She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.» said one doctor. «Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!» The ... Читать далее...
20. Mister Smith rushes into the maternity wardMister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, «What’s wrong? What’s the emergency?» «Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have some terrible news for you. It’s disfigured.» «Well, how bad is it? Can I see?» «Follow me, sir.» They head down a restricted corridor and come to the first door. Inside, in ... Читать далее...
21. Really torrid honeymoonAfter the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, «You know what I really feel like honey?» «Well sure,» she ... Читать далее...
22. Welfare applicationsFor those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which ... Читать далее...
23. A use for ViagraA man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. «How are you grandpa?» he asks. «Feeling fine,» says the old man. «What’s the food like?» «Terrific, wonderful menus.» «And the nursing?» «Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.» «What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?» «No problem at ... Читать далее...
24. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors officeA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, «If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die». 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова husbandHusband — муж Перевод слова Ex-husband, former husband — бывший муж henpecked husband — подкаблучник to leave one’s husband — оставить мужа My Husband doesn’t cook Мой муж не готовит. She lied to her Husband. Она солгала мужу. She cheats on her Husband. Она изменяет своему мужу....
26. The first Jewish woman President is electedThe first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: «Mama, I’ve won the elections, you’ve got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.» «I don’t know, what would I wear?» «Don’t worry, I’ll send you a dressmaker» «But I only eat kosher food» «Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get ... Читать далее...
27. A jealous husband hires a private detectiveA jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective, he wants both a written account and as many videos of her in any kind of compromising situations as the man can get. Two weeks later the detective calls the man and tells him he has all ... Читать далее...
28. A folk remedyA man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman’s body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she ... Читать далее...
29. Jones is driving past the state mental hospitalJones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for ... Читать далее...
30. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy HospitalMr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. «Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,» said the nun, gently patting ... Читать далее...
31. An older woman was in the pastoral studyAn older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming fourth wedding. «Father,» she said, «How am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?» «My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be,» he replied. «Well Father, my first husband was a ... Читать далее...
32. Giving sad news to a troopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. «Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.» So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. «Listen up, men,» says the Sergeant. «Johnson, report to the mess hall ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы labor movement[labor movement] {n.} Groups which form, strengthen, and increasemembership in labor unions. His father was connected with the labormovement in the 1920’s....
34. Democrats on the front porchThis little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, «Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.» «What?» the operator exclaimed. «I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы labor of love[labor of love] {n. phr.} Something done for personal pleasure andnot pay or profit. Building the model railroad was a labor of lovefor the retired engineer....
36. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IVVoice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing — they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail ... Читать далее...
37. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
38. There was a young man in the Air ForceThere was a young man in the Air Force who was so well — endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, «We’ll just take a big hunk off the end.» They discussed it ... Читать далее...
39. My friend is dead!Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: ... Читать далее...
40. Negotiating PriceJustin: Hello. Rachel: Hi, Justin. It’s Rachel from McQ Corp. Justin: Oh hi, Rachel. Did you get our Bid for the job? Rachel: Yes, we did. We like your proposal, but we still need To come to terms on the price. Justin: We’ve already given you our Rock-bottom price because we want to get this ... Читать далее...