Texts

Rueben: I never imagined walking our daughter to school could be so Dangerous. Carla: What happened? Rueben: We were walking on the Sidewalk approaching the Intersection. The Crossing guard was there to stop Traffic so we could cross the street. We were halfway through the Designated crosswalk when a guy driving like a Demon whips … Читать далее

Walt: What’s the matter with you? Irene: I have a bad Cold. Walt: Why didn’t you stay home from work? You’re probably Contagious! Irene: I had no choice. I have an important presentation this afternoon and I can’t Play hooky. Walt: You can’t give a presentation in your condition. Your nose is Running, your eyes … Читать далее

The Ice Bucket Challenge that went viral in 2014 has funded an important scientific gene discovery in the progressive neurodegenerative disease ALS, the ALS Association says. Scientists have identified a new gene contributing to the disease, NEK1. The Ice Bucket Challenge has raised $115m (£87.7m) from people pouring cold water over themselves and posting the … Читать далее

Today, I’m going to be giving you a brief Overview of the Trends that are likely to affect our Industry in the next 10 years. It’s difficult to Predict the Fads that affect how the General public thinks and behaves. However, by looking at recent Polls, we have a good idea about one area that … Читать далее

It’s That time of year again. It’s Award show season. No, I’m not talking about the Nobel Prizes. I’m talking about the entertainment awards. This is the time of year when the TV shows and movies are Nominated as the best of the year. Celebrities get together at an award Ceremony and the winners are … Читать далее

Livy: Tell me again why we’re here on a Saturday afternoon. Nicholas: You’re going to love this Museum. It has Artifacts and Exhibits from all the major periods in history, from Prehistoric days to the present. Livy: Hmm, fascinating. Nicholas: It is, isn’t it? We follow thetimeline of human history from one room to the … Читать далее

Carole: It is Beyond me how you and Oscar can be Roommates. You’re very Tidy and he’s, well, a Slob. Felix: It’s not always easy, but we’re Making it work. Carole: Isn’t Oscar really Messy all the time? Whenever I see him, his clothes are Rumpled and his hair is Unkempt. Felix: His room is … Читать далее

Fighter jets will jettison their external fuel tanks when they are dry or if they engage in air-to-air combat. Vietnamese farmers turned the fuel tanks jettisoned by U. S. fighter jets during Vietnam into makeshift boats. During the Vietnam War, U. S. fighter jets constantly screamed across the countryside. They were typically loaded with an … Читать далее

Scott: Hi, I thought I’d stop by to pick up those chairs I wanted to borrow. Roberta: Oh, sure. Here they are. Scott: What are you doing? Roberta: I’m looking through the material we got on Adoption. Scott: Are you and Robert thinking about adopting a child? Roberta: Yeah, we are. We’ve been thinking about … Читать далее

Robert: Hi, I’m Robert. What are you In the market for today? Mary: I want to buy a new car, but I’m not sure what I want. Robert: Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have a very large selection of cars and Trucks – Just about any type of Vehicle you can think … Читать далее

Sarya: Hey Dom, I haven’t seen you in so long. Where have you been? Dominick: Oh, I’ve been busy. Sarya: I’ve missed Hanging out together. How’s Leslie? Dominick: She’s okay, but things haven’t been that great between us. Sarya: I’m really sorry to hear that. What’s up? Dominick: Leslie is great, but she’s so Jealous … Читать далее

I’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the … Читать далее

Yesenia: I have a great idea. Let’s plan a big party for your mother’s 70th birthday. We’ll invite all of your Relatives from all over the world. Julian: I don’t think very many of them can afford to travel half way around the world for a party. Yesenia: I’ve already spoken with your rich brother … Читать далее

Rene: Hey, look who’s here. It’s the company’s Golden boy. Bruno: Very funny. Rene: I’m not joking. First, you’re Recognized at the annual meeting for your work in the company, and then you get a Commendation from the city for your volunteer work. I’m Basking in your reflected glory. Bruno: I didn’t ask for either … Читать далее

I was talking to my new friend Nicole about the differences between New York City and Los Angeles. Nicole just Relocated from New York, where she lived All her life, and I’m a Native of L. A. Dan: So, is L. A. All it’s cracked up to be? Nicole: Well, the Stereotype in the movies … Читать далее

Vern: I really think we’ve Bitten off more than we can chew. I like Do-it-yourself projects, but Installing a new window and a new door isn’t as easy as it looks. Genevive: What we don’t know, we’ll Learn as we go. Okay, we’ve removed the old window. This new Double-paned one is going to be … Читать далее

*** «Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.» *** «Anyway, George comes up to me the first day of filming and he takes one look at the dress and says, ‘You can’t wear a bra under that dress.’ So, I say, ‘Okay, I’ll bite. Why?’ And he says, ‘Because… there’s … Читать далее

One of the things I like to do on the weekends is go to garage sales. I’m a Bargain hunter and Collector, so garage sales are good places for me. I look in the newspapers or just follow Homemade signs To find the sales in my neighborhood. Whether it’s because people are doing Spring cleaning … Читать далее

Sara: Come on! We need to buy all of the things we need for Gabriel’s party before the store closes. Paul: Are you sure we need a party? Maybe we can just have a Cake and some Party hats. Sara: Are you kidding?! We are going To pull out all the stops. We’ll have Streamers, … Читать далее

Driver: Ma’am, where would you like these suitcases? Leona: The three Wheeled suitcases should go next to the bed, and the Garment bag should be Hung up In the closet. Where is my Expandable bag? Driver: Do you mean this Duffel bag? Leona: Yes. You can leave that right there. Hmm, where is my Carry-on? … Читать далее

Mickey: Hello, McQuillan Plumbing. Colleen: Hi, I’m having a lot of Plumbing problems. Can you send a Plumber out to my house right away? Mickey: Yes, we can. But first, let’s find out what the problems are. Colleen: Well, to start, my Toilet won’t Flush and it’s Overflowing. Mickey: An overflowing toilet – Check. What … Читать далее

Fumi: You may have everyone else Fooled, but I know the real reason for the success of this project. Issac: What? Fumi: You. You’ve been Working behind the scenes to bolster the people who weren’t Up to the task. Without you, this project would have been Sunk months ago. Issac: That’s nonsense. Fumi: No, it’s … Читать далее

Marcia: Phew! I thought they’d never leave. Artem: I enjoyed their Company, didn’t you? Marcia: Jessie is fine, a little Reserved and Soft-spoken, and on the Shy side. Kelly, on the other hand, Talked our ear off. No one could Get a word in edgewise with her. Artem: I thought Kelly’s Anecdotes were funny. She … Читать далее

Dominic: Do you want some help with that box? Andrea: Sure, thanks. Dominic: What is it? Andrea: It’s a new TV. My old one has been On the fritz for a week and I needed a new one. Dominic: Is this a Highly-rated model? Andrea: Highly-rated? I just went to the electronics store and bought … Читать далее

A Bunch of my old college friends Came into town for a few days and we went out last night Bar hopping until Closing time. We started around 9 p. m. and Were on our third bar when we Closed it down. Some of us were Starving and the rest of us were Peckish so … Читать далее

Kitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent … Читать далее

Barack Obama’s hand lies on a Bible held by Michelle Obama as he is sworn in as the 44th U. S. president on January 20, 2009. U. S. presidents should not be sworn into office with their hand on a Bible. At Monday’s inauguration of his second term, President Barack Obama will raise his right … Читать далее

ANYONE WHO’S BEEN A NURSE for any length of time has known the feeling of being left with an an unpleasant, lingering memory from a patient case. It may be an error made, an innocent oversight, a decision that reflects lack of judgment, or something said-or even not said-by a patient. Whatever the circumstance, few … Читать далее

Chad: Okay, this report is finally finished. Pamela: Oh, not quite. I’m still working on the Formatting. Chad: We used the Standard formatting for this type of report. I don’t think we should play around with the Text. Pamela: Standard is boring. I want our report to be special. I’m putting a nice Border on … Читать далее

Oscar: So you’re back from your mother’s birthday dinner. How was it? Priscilla: Same old, same old. It isn’t a family gathering without a major Meltdown or Blowup. Oscar: Yikes, what happened? Priscilla: You know how it is. It starts out with Bickering and somebody Taking offense at some Slight or Dig, or bringing up … Читать далее

Amelia: I wish we had hired a professional Videographer to film it instead of asking your friend Lenny to do it. Victor: This video isn’t so bad. The Production quality isn’t the best, but he did a pretty good job. Amelia: It’s not bad if you like your video Out-of-focus. There are no Transitions between … Читать далее

Ms. Sanchez: Okay, kids. I’m Ms. Sanchez, your Substitute for this week. I’m taking all of you on the Field trip tomorrow. Listen up. There are some Ground rules we need To go over. First, each of you will have a Partner and you will Hold hands while we cross the streets. Student: Ms. Sanchez…? … Читать далее

Oscar: What are you doing? Elena: I’m getting ready for the test. Oscar: By writing the answers on a cheat sheet? You’re not going To get away with That. Elena: I got a “D” on the last test and I have to do better on this one. If I don’t get at least a “B,” … Читать далее

I walked into the coffee room and saw that Brad was writing something on a piece of paper. When he saw me come in, he Slipped the note Out of sight. Trisha: Hey, What’s up? Brad: Oh, Nothing. Trisha: What were you writing? Brad: (Laugh) All right. You Caught me in the act. I finally … Читать далее

Some people collect stamps. Other people collect CDs. I collect movies. I’m a film Buff and I have a Collection of my favorite movies of all time. I usually buy a movie when it comes out on DVD, even if I’ve seen it already On the big screen. I have a High definition TV and … Читать далее

I admit that I’m not very good at Small talk. When I’m with friends, I can just Shoot the breeze All day long. But when I talk to a stranger or someone I don’t know very well, I’m always Casting about, searching for something to talk about. Politics and religion are definitely Taboo subjects, at … Читать далее

I was driving down the street when I saw a Police car behind me. Suddenly, it turned on its Siren. I realized that I was Being pulled over. Officer: Can I see your Driver’s license, Registration, and Proof of insurance? Ray: Sure. Here you are, officer. Officer: Did you know that you were Speeding? You … Читать далее

Lynn: I’ve been trying to help Monica find an apartment, but it’s impossible to find anything Affordable on this side of town and near her work. The only thing that’s within her Budget would require a 50-minute Commute each way! Santiago: I know. It’s become really ridiculous. I’m reading an article about how the Income … Читать далее

Mina: I’d Better be going. See you later. Oliver: It might be Awhile before we Run into each other again. Mina: Why is that? Oliver: I’m going to Puerto Rico for three months starting next Tuesday. I got a job there for the summer. Mina: I didn’t know that. That’s great! I’ve never been to … Читать далее

I needed to make an Appointment with a doctor so I called my Health plan‘s phone number for new Patients. Before I could schedule my appointment, I had to listen to several recorded messages to be Routed to the right medical office. The recording said to Stay on the line for assistance. Clerk: Hello, Western … Читать далее

Michael: Mom, I don’t need a new coat. I like my old Trench coat. It’s comfortable, and I can use it as a Raincoat and an Overcoat. So what do I need a new coat for? Lisa: If you’re going to visit your aunt in Maine, you’ll need something warmer than a trench coat. This … Читать далее

Victoria: I see that you have a really Extensive music Collection. J. D.: Yeah, I like a lot of different Genres of music. Victoria: Do you have the new J. McQ Album? He’s my favorite Artist. I just got it and I like all of the Tracks on it. J. D.: No, I haven’t heard … Читать далее

Gus: Are you Shirley? Shirley: Yeah, thanks for agreeing to meet me here. I’m told you’re the best Sniper in the business and you can be Discreet. I need a Hitman who can do a job, then Make himself scarce. Gus: I’m your man. Tell me about it. Shirley: There’s someone who’s been A thorn … Читать далее

Vicky: What are you working on? Issac: If I tell you, will you Promise not to laugh? Vicky: All right. What is it? Issac: It’s a Love letter to Julie. Vicky: Isn’t it a little Premature? You’ve only been going out for a month. Issac: Maybe, but I really want her to know how I … Читать далее

After a long tiring day at work, I stopped at a restaurant nearby for a quick meal. Server: Hi, I’m Ursula. Can I get you something to drink? Paulo: Yes, I’d like an iced tea and I’m also ready to order. I’ll just have a bowl of Soup and a Salad. Server: Sure, no problem. … Читать далее

Jane: I’ve just had the best Workout at the Gym! Arnold: You don’t need to go to a gym To exercise. I exercise right here in my apartment. Jane: Oh, yeah? What can you do in this small space? Arnold: Nearly everything I need to do. Before I do my Calisthenics, I Stretch. And every … Читать далее

Even though I’ve only Been on the job for six months, my manager asked me to Train the New hire. She was starting today and when she arrived, we got down to business. Akira: So, the first thing I’ll do is To give you A run down Of the Duties of the job. Your main … Читать далее

I Fell into the habit of reading the newspaper every morning when I was a kid. Back then, there used to be two daily newspapers-morning Edition and an afternoon edition. Nowadays, of course, many cities in the U. S. have just a morning paper. I’m not too Picky about which newspaper I read, although When … Читать далее

Violet: Thanks for agreeing to meet with me about the new Contract. It’s important that both Parties understand and agree to all of the Terms before we can move ahead. Karik: It’s In the best interest of both of our companies for this agreement To be signed, so I’m glad to be here. How should … Читать далее

I had to fly from Minneapolis to Los Angeles recently, and like most travelers, I’ve almost memorized the standard Safety announcement made by the Flight attendants. It goes something like this: Good afternoon and welcome to Flight 345, Service to Los Angeles International Airport. We appreciate your full attention to this important safety announcement. This … Читать далее