Seamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many things to plan. We have to book the Hall far in advance, you know, and once we Set the date, we have to send out … Читать далее
Kavita: What I wouldn’t give to Get away for a little vacation! Bill: Me, too, but we can’t Afford it. Kavita: Oh, I don’t know. It’s Off-season in a lot of popular places right now, so it may be Doable. Bill: Maybe. We’d have to find some pretty Deep discounts. There is a big advantage … Читать далее
Some people say that it’s Civic duty to «give back» to your community. That’s true but for me, I want to do some Volunteer work so that I can feel useful. I’ve been working at the same job for years and it’s not at all Rewarding. Yes, I Make good money, but I never feel … Читать далее
Torsten: What are you doing, Clipping coupons? That’s a waste of time. Cindy: You can think what you like, but these days, we have To cut corners wherever we can. Torsten: No one actually saves much money using coupons. Cindy: That’s what you think. The last time I went to the grocery store, I saved … Читать далее
Jeremy: It’s really nice of you to make dinner for me tonight. Keeley: I’m glad to do it. You’re been so helpful to me, It’s only fair that I Return the favor. I hope you’ve Brought your appetite. Jeremy: You bet. Keeley: Great! Here’s the first Course, a light soup. How do you like it? … Читать далее
I pushed the Call button to get the attention of the Flight attendant. Flight attendant: Yes? What can I do for you? Hal: It’s very cold in the Cabin. Is it possible to get a Blanket? Flight attendant: We’re out of blankets, but here’s a Pillow. Hal: Okay, thanks. I was asleep during the Meal … Читать далее
Grace: What are you doing? Yuji: I’m working on a plan To get April back. Grace: I think that’s a Lost cause. You guys Broke up three months ago. There’s no way she’ll Take you back. Yuji: Watch me Prove you wrong. When I tell April about all of the ways I’m going to change … Читать далее
Brenda: It’s fun shopping for a new cell phone, don’t you think? Yoji: Sure, but I just need one with the Bare basics. Brenda: Not me. I want one that’s Top-of-the-line. My old phone was Cheap and Flimsy, and it started Acting up after only a few months. Yoji: I want something that’s good Quality, … Читать далее
Man: Hi, it’s a bit Crowded in here. Woman: Yes, it’s always like this on the first night of the conference. Is this your first time Attending? Man: Yes, it is. By the way, I’m Dan Morimoto. Woman: I’m Gwen Renault. Were you here this morning for the opening Keynote? I thought the Speaker was … Читать далее
Sharon: So, Leo, how are the plans Coming along For the Company retreat? Leo: I’ve made most of the Arrangements and I think it’s going well. I’m Planning to send out information about the Two-day event to the managers at the end of this week. Sharon: What do you have Set up for the Opening … Читать далее
Carlos: Belinda, maybe you can explain it to me. My parents still don’t Get me. I got a couple of Tattoos and they Freaked out. Belinda: Why are you asking me? I may be a few years older than you are, but I don’t understand parents Any better than you do. They’re hopelessly Behind the … Читать далее
Paul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an … Читать далее
[NOTE.-This is not a fancy sketch. I got it from a clergyman who was an instructor at Woolwich forty years ago, and who vouched for its truth. — M. T.] It was at a banquet in London in honour of one of the two or three conspicuously illustrious English military names of this generation. For … Читать далее
Marisol: What do you think of the big announcement this morning? Lamar: That our company is going To merge with McQ Corp.? From what I’ve Heard through the grapevine, this isn’t a Merger but a Hostile takeover. Marisol: But the CEO said this morning that our company and McQ Corp. are Equals in this merger, … Читать далее
Miss Posie Carrington had earned her success. She began life handicapped by the family name of «Boggs,» in the small town known as Cranberry Corners. At the age of eighteen she had acquired the name of «Carrington» and a position in the chorus of a metropolitan burlesque company. Thence upward she had ascended by the … Читать далее
Dolores: Manuel in accounting is supposed to help me with this report, but he called in sick today! I can’t believe my luck. He’s supposed to be Training me in and he’s left me Holding the bag. Anton: Let me see if I can help. Dolores: I’m supposed to use the information from this Profit … Читать далее
Julianne: I’m really glad to be back in Macville. What happened to the market that used to be here? Helio: Oh, it Went belly up. It Struggled for many years. The owners tried To downsize and reduced the space they were renting, but they had To throw in the towel when they got into Debt. … Читать далее
Hanna: Where have you been? I’ve been trying to find you. I just won $80 from this Slot machine. It’s not the Jackpot, but now I’ve Broken even. Tad: That’s really great. Maybe some of your luck will Rub off on me. I’m just about to see what the High rollers are doing. Do you … Читать далее
Claude: Oh no, this isn’t another Action movie, is it? Jean: Of course not. I know you like Thrillers and this is a thriller. Claude: This definitely seems like a Brainless action movie to me. That’s the second Fight scene and we’re only 15 minutes into the film. Jean: It’s a thriller that’s supposed to … Читать далее
Mona: I want a Lawn. I’ve always pictured our new house with a lawn. Kellan: Lawns require a lot of water and Upkeep. I think we should use Hardscape for most of the yard and plant only Drought-tolerant plants. Mona: I don’t want my yard to be full of Gravel and rocks. I picture a … Читать далее
Sabrina: Wait! Don’t Deposit that money into our regular Bank account. I’ll take care of it. Luis: Okay, but why? Sabrina: I’ve come up with a way for us to avoid paying so much in Taxes each year. I’ve opened an Offshore account in the Crook Islands. We can Funnel our money into that account … Читать далее
Roberta: You know, my birthday is Coming up. John: Yeah, I know. What are you Getting at? Roberta: Nothing. I was just thinking that it’s kind of an important birthday, a major birthday. John: Yes, I know. Spit it out. What are you Driving at? Roberta: I was just thinking that some people might not … Читать далее
Oliver: I had the most Hair-raising experience of my life this past weekend. Alena: What happened? Oliver: You know that George bought an old house, right? Well, he’s been telling us that it’s Haunted, so for a Lark, a few of us decided to spend the weekend there to see if we would have any … Читать далее
Carmen: Wake up! You’re supposed to be working. Elias: Shhh, I’m trying to sleep. The boss is out of the office today, so I consider it a holiday. Today, I can be a little Out of it if I want to be. Carmen: Out of it? You’re Sleeping on the job – Literally! Elias: So … Читать далее
I Admit it. I’m a Player. I work in an office where there are a lot of Attractive women. Take Debra, for example. I heard that she just Broke up with her boyfriend last week so I decided to ask her out. Liam: Hi, Debra. How’s it going? Debra: Okay, I guess. How about you? … Читать далее
Sonia: Hello, Fickle Property Management Company. Frank: Hello, I own an office building on Broadway Boulevard and I’m interested in hiring a property management company. Sonia: You’ve called the right place. We help you advertise your Vacant units, Show empty properties, and Screen prospective tenants. Frank: The building is Partially occupied right now and I … Читать далее
In compliance with the request of a friend of mine, who wrote me from the East, I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon Wheeler, and inquired after my friend’s friend, Leonidas W. Smiley, as requested to do, and I hereunto append the result. I have a lurking suspicion that Leonidas W. Smiley is a myth; … Читать далее
Amina: Have you heard the latest news? Shane: No, what is it? Amina: Charlie was fired last Friday after the company found out that he had been Cooking the books for over six months and had Embezzled more than $50,000. Shane: Charlie? I don’t believe it! He is the most Upstanding person I know. I … Читать далее
Well, I was Born and raised in Minnesota, in St. Paul, Minnesota, to be exact. I won’t say how long ago that was, but let’s just say I’m no Spring chicken. I grew up there with my rather large family of 8 brothers and 2 sisters. (I was the baby of the family, but I … Читать далее
I’d been complaining to a coworker, Amy, about having to move to the Burbs for my job. She said that there were plenty of things to do outside of the city and invited me to a Bar she likes. … Amy: Hey, there you are. Mykhailo: Hey, so this is the famous McQ’s you’ve been … Читать далее
I do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in … Читать далее
Darlene: Thanks for agreeing to take a look at my computer. It’s been Acting up lately. Chris: Sure, I don’t mind. Is this it? Darlene: Yeah. Chris: How long have you had this computer? It looks like it belongs in the Ice age. Darlene: I admit it’s a little Dated. I must be one of … Читать далее
Lucy: I don’t think this is going To work. This plan Calls for the new office to open by July and I think that’s too Ambitious. I don’t see how the Groundwork can be done any earlier than September. Jeff: I understand your concern. I don’t want to Rush the opening of the new office … Читать далее
Masako: I think we should Strike. We need to force Management to listen to our Grievances. Salvador: Hold on. I think you’re being too Hasty. It’s up to our union to call a strike, not the workers. Masako: I’m not suggesting a formal strike, but we could organize a Sickout. That would send a message … Читать далее
A red-haired, unshaven, untidy man sat in a rocking chair by a window. He had just lighted a pipe, and was puffing blue clouds with great satisfaction. He had removed his shoes and donned a pair of blue, faded carpet-slippers. With the morbid thirst of the confirmed daily news drinker, he awkwardly folded back the … Читать далее
Jasinda: Was that your friend Mitch? Thomas: Yeah, he and I had lunch today to talk about some business opportunities. Jasinda: What Line of work Is he in? Thomas: Well, I guess you could say he’s in the Import/export business. Jasinda: Hmm…Why are you being so Shifty? Isn’t his business On the up and up? … Читать далее
Fall is once again Upon us, and that means that Homecoming celebrations are Just around the corner. Homecoming is an American tradition each September and October for high schools and colleges where they celebrate their School spirit with a football game and other celebrations. I remember the homecoming events when I was in school. First, … Читать далее
One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one’s cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. … Читать далее
Joel: Did it come? Susanne: No, it’s not in today’s mail. Why do I bother, anyway? I know it’s a Foregone conclusion. I’ve Failed. Joel: That’s Bull! I know you Passed. You’re just On tenterhooks waiting around for the results to arrive and you’re Psyching yourself out. Susanne: No, I’m not. Joel: Don’t you remember … Читать далее
Cassius: You’ll need To cover up if you want to go in there. This is a House of worship. Brittany: All right, if you say so. I don’t really want to go into this Mosque or Temple or whatever it is. Cassius: Keep your voice down. Can’t you see that there are people at the … Читать далее
Pamela: [laughs] Did you see this Tweet from Sarah? She’s so funny. Josh: Hold on. I’m Texting Lance. I want to make sure he knows where we’re Meeting up. Pamela: [cell phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi Lance. Did you get Josh’s text? You didn’t? Let me IM you, bye. Josh: I wonder why Lance didn’t … Читать далее
Anastasia: This is the best Club in the city. Grace brought me here last month. You’re going to love it. Joshua: What?! Anastasia: You’re going to love this club. It has the best DJ in town. She Spins the best Mixes. Joshua: Did you say you’re going to get us some Mixed drinks? Anastasia: No, … Читать далее
In my family, there are Penny-pinchers and Spendthrifts, and Everything in between. My brother Frank has the Reputation for being Stingy with money. He likes To save up and only Spend when he has to. I bet he has a lot Stashed away. He’s Careful with money but he does spend it when he thinks … Читать далее
George: I’m kind of nervous staying in a Vacation rental for the first time. Marnie: Don’t worry. Before I Booked this unit, I checked it out thoroughly. It’s Pet-friendly and Kid-friendly, and it Sleeps six, so it’ll be perfect for the whole family. George: But there won’t be the same Amenities or services as a … Читать далее
Danny: Don’t bother looking for next year’s meeting Calendar. I’m still working on it. Tessa: What’s taking so long? Danny: This is my first time scheduling all of the major meetings for this company and I’m getting Thrown off by all of the things I have to Keep in mind. For instance, our Bylaws say … Читать далее
Giancarlo: Whoa, where are you going? I thought we were going To hang out. Alana: I’m going to work. Giancarlo: Work? I didn’t know you got a job. Alana: I’m Busking on Main Street. Giancarlo: You mean you’re Panhandling? That’s not working. Alana: I’m not panhandling. I’m working for Tips. I perform, try To draw … Читать далее
Danny: You look like you need To relax. Sybil: Excuse me? Danny: What I mean is, you look like you could use some R and R. Sybil: I didn’t know I looked tired and Worn out. Danny: No, What I’m trying to say is, people need Leisure time once in a while. Sybil: Yes, that’s … Читать далее
Susanna: What’s going on in the office next door? I heard that the police Shut down their business. Clark: You heard right. The cops had long Suspected that the business operating out of that office wasn’t Legit. Susanna: Not legit? Clark: Yeah, it was a Front for Money laundering. The So-called services it offered were … Читать далее
Ruby: I’m Snowed under With work! I can’t seem to keep up with everything I have to do. You’re always so organized and Efficient. How do you do it? Ian: I’m not always organized and efficient, but I’ve gotten better since I read a book about Time management. I use a few Tools that the … Читать далее
Patricia: This is the best Magic show I’ve ever seen. Have you ever seen so many amazing Magic tricks in your life? They’re Blowing my mind! Sergio: They’re all just Illusions. It’s nothing but Smoke and mirrors. Patricia: I don’t know how you can say that. We’ve seen some really impressive Sleight of hand tricks … Читать далее