Texts

Natalia: Is that the Office Shop Catalogue? Kei: Yeah, I’m in charge of Furnishing the new offices on the second floor. They need everything – Desks, file cabinets, bookcases – you name it. Natalia: That sounds like fun. I love shopping for new furniture. Can I help? Kei: Yes, definitely. I’ve picked out a few … Читать далее

When you own a house, there is always something that Needs work. I have been Putting off repainting the Garage and I decided that I would do it this weekend. I went to the Home improvement store early in the morning to get the Supplies I’d need. I walked into the Huge store and began … Читать далее

Agency Employee: Hello, state Unemployment agency. George: Hello, I’d like to apply for Unemployment benefits. Agency Employee: Okay, give me your address and I’ll send you an application. George: How much can I get? Agency Employee: That depends. Your benefits are Calculated based on your Quarterly earnings. You were Laid off from your job? George: … Читать далее

An old man on the point of death summoned his sons around him to give them some parting advice. He ordered his servants to bring in a faggot of sticks, and said to his eldest son, «Break it.» The son strained and strained, but with all his efforts was unable to break the Bundle. The … Читать далее

Ling: Ugh! Sam: What’s the matter? Ling: I’m trying To jot down some ideas for the meeting tomorrow but I’m Drawing a blank. Sam: When I’ve got a Block, I usually Step away from it for a while and come back to it later. Then I can look at it with a Fresh perspective. Ling: … Читать далее

It was an American journalist who was writing up England — or writing her down as the mood seized him. Sometimes he blamed and sometimes he praised, and the case-hardened old country actually went its way all the time quite oblivious of his approval or of his disfavour — being ready at all times, through … Читать далее

Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. «Pardon, O King,» cried the little Mouse: «forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but … Читать далее

Barry: Where are you going? Jane: I’m Checking up on Rudy. I gave him a Task an hour ago and I want to make sure he’s doing it right. Barry: You’re not Micromanaging again, are you? Jane: Of course, not. I’m only going To observe his work and make sure that he’s following the detailed … Читать далее

In a nursery where a number of toys lay scattered about, a money-box stood on the top of a very high wardrobe. It was made of clay in the shape of a pig, and had been bought of the potter. In the back of the pig was a slit, and this slit had been enlarged … Читать далее

Hostess: Thank you for calling Sakia Restaurant. How may I help you? Randy: I’d like to make a Reservation. Hostess: For which day and for what time? Randy: It’s for Friday, the 24th, at 7 o’clock. Hostess: How many will be in the party? Randy: There will be seven of us. Hostess: And the name … Читать далее

Nicole: I’m really sorry to hear about you and Catherine getting a Divorce. Tom: I appreciate it, but it was A long time coming. We’ve been heading toward divorce for years. I just hope it doesn’t get too Messy. Nicole: I don’t mean To pry, but didn’t the two of you have a Prenup? Tom: … Читать далее

I was staying at a nice resort hotel in Arizona on a short vacation. I had been out on the Golf course playing a Round of golf. When I got back into the room, I was feeling pretty hungry. I was meeting some friends for a late dinner around 8:30. I wanted a Snack. I … Читать далее

Diego: That’s three in six months! Natalie: What’s three in six months? Diego: That’s three of this company’s employees who have been Hired away by other companies. First, there was Lamar. I wasn’t surprised that Headhunters were interested in Lamar, since he was clearly a Rising star. Natalie: Yeah, Lamar was a Tough loss. His … Читать далее

Victor: Humph! Rosaria: What’s the matter? Victor: I just got back from my first Yoga class and I was Sorely disappointed. Rosaria: I’ve heard that yoga is very good Low-impact exercise And helps with Stress relief. It’s supposed to Calm the mind and Strengthen the body. Victor: Yeah, right. Rosaria: It sounds like you had … Читать далее

Angel: Why are you driving At a snail’s pace? Georgina: This is an Infamous speed trap. I don’t want to get a Ticket – again. Angel: I don’t see any Squad cars along the road. Are you sure this is the right Stretch of road? Georgina: I’m sure. Those Cops are Crafty. They Hide out … Читать далее

Gloria: I’m surprised at the variety of people on this tour. Andy: Oh, yeah? I hadn’t noticed. Gloria: Well, we’ll be spending the next two weeks with these people so I thought I’d get to know some of them. Andy: That’s nice. Gloria: Did you see that thirty-something couple with a Toddler and an Infant? … Читать далее

Travis: I don’t know how we’re going to keep our free sports program going without more Funding. As it is, we’re Strapped and I don’t know how we’re going to continue. Megumi: I know you’ve been Resistant in the past, but what about Corporate sponsorship? I’m sure we can find some businesses that want to … Читать далее

Dad: It’s time you start preparing for the MCFL Test. Maria: Dad, that’s 12 months away! I don’t need to start looking at Test prep materials right now. Dad: Yes, you do. Like all High-stakes testing, Familiarity with the types of questions you’ll be asked will help you. You need To score well on it … Читать далее

Carol: Hey, where are you going? Miguel: We can’t sit here doing nothing. Carol: We have Orders to stay here and To keep watch. You know as well as I do what the Consequences are of Defying orders. Miguel: I don’t care what kind of Punishment I get. I can’t Sit still and let things … Читать далее

The Ethnologist looked at the _bhimraj_ feather thoughtfully. «They seemed loth to part with it,» he said. «It is sacred to the Chiefs,» said the lieutenant; «just as yellow silk, you know, is sacred to the Chinese Emperor.» The Ethnologist did not answer. He hesitated. Then opening the topic abruptly, «What on earth is this … Читать далее

Tom: I wonder How much longer we’ll have to Put up with Dennis. He is the most Incompetent boss I’ve ever worked for. Katie: He’s not that bad, is he? I don’t have much Contact with Him. Tom: Are you Kidding? He’s always Sleeping on the job. The other day, he was supposed to Keep … Читать далее

For me, things never Go very Smoothly at my local post office. I’ve learned that if you want To mail a letter, you’ll have no problems. But if things get more complicated than that, well, Watch out! Yesterday I went there to mail a small package and to pick up a Book of stamps. I … Читать далее

Danica: Calm down! Stop throwing things! Have you Gone berserk? Neil: Calm down?! Calm down?! You don’t know what just happened. Danica: I’ve never seen you Lose your temper like this before. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened. Neil: Okay, you know that I like Samantha, right? Well, I told Malik last … Читать далее

Diane: I’m so Exasperated! I’m really tired of the Homeowner’s association in my condo building. Ricardo: What’s the matter with it? Diane: The people who sit on the condo association board are a bunch of Do-nothings. I’ve filed Complaint after complaint and they refuse To enforce the House rules. Ricardo: Well, that might not be … Читать далее

Giovanni: There are No two ways about it. We have To raise prices. Melanie: We can’t. We already raised prices earlier this year. Doing it again risks Alienating our customers. Giovanni: What else can we do? Our Production costs have risen nearly 15 percent. We’ve tried Absorbing them and Offsetting them, but nothing has worked. … Читать далее

My sister had to go out of town for a couple of days and I offered To look after her 18-month-old Twins. It wasn’t long before I realized that I was Over my head! … Colleen: Okay, you two, it’s time to go Beddy-bye. Baby: No! Colleen: Yes, let’s get your Jammies on. You can … Читать далее

I was at the store The other day. I saw a former co-worker, Michael, across the room. He used to work at my company until he quit a few months ago to start a new job as a Public relations officer at Missouri University. It’s a job he’s been Working toward For years. He wasn’t … Читать далее

Aaron: Mom, I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it. Margo: What is it? Aaron: I’m Dropping out of college. I want to get out into The real world and get a job. I’m wasting time in school. Margo: You’ll get a better job if you stay in school and … Читать далее

Irene: Damon and his girlfriend just got Engaged. They’re planning on getting Married this summer. Ken: They’re too young! Marrying young Poses all kinds of problems. Irene: Such as? Ken: Such as the two of them lacking Maturity. They may think it’s fun To play house right now, but they’re not prepared to face the … Читать далее

Moving to a new city can be a Lonely experience. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn’t know anyone and it was hard To strike up new friendships. I’m a pretty Sociable person, but it’s still hard meeting new people and even harder to make Lasting friendships. I’ve never been a Lone wolf, … Читать далее

Stacey: I have a date with George this Saturday. I can’t wait! Brad: Have a good time, but you know what The word on the street is about George, don’t you? Stacey: What? Brad: He’s Not the marrying kind. Stacey: Oh, he just hasn’t met the right girl yet. When he does, he’ll be ready … Читать далее

Some business had detained me in Chancery Lane nine in the evening, and thereafter, having some inkling of a headache, I was disinclined either for entertainment or further work. So much of the sky as the high cliffs of that narrow canon of traffic left visible spoke of a serene night, and I determined to … Читать далее

This was my first visit to McQuillanville. I wanted to avoid driving, so I decided to take the bus around the city. However, I was having some trouble figuring out the Bus schedule. Louisa: Excuse me, could you help me read this bus schedule? Curt: I can try. Where do you want to go? Louisa: … Читать далее

Tony: The Plant manager says that you’re the new kid. Amber: Yes, it’s my first day. Tony: All right, you’ll be a Line worker like the rest of us. Here’s your Workstation. What you have to remember is that Output and Productivity are the most important things around here. Amber: I understand, but… Tony: Watch … Читать далее

I’ve shared a two-bedroom, two-Bath apartment with my Roommate for two years. He was moving to Austin and I Posted a «Roommate wanted» Ad in the local newspaper. I got a few calls, a couple from some very Weird people. Finally, I got a call from Andrew. He seemed normal On the phone and we … Читать далее

Tour guide: Welcome to Hollywood Tours, everybody. I’m your Tour guide for today, and I’ll be showing you some of the most Memorable locations in Hollywood history. Every seat in this Double-decker bus is a good one, and you’ll be able to see every Landmark we drive by. Uh, do you have a question? Elvira: … Читать далее

Petra: Hey, what’s going on here? Why are all of you here in my apartment? Johann: Your family and close friends are here to perform an Intervention. We feel that you have a problem that is negatively Affecting your life and the lives of the people around you. Petra: An intervention?! I don’t need an … Читать далее

Aida: When our Bigwigs from the Cleveland office arrive next week, I think we’ll have a lot to show them. Dale: I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Giselle told me yesterday that it’s a Toss up whether she’ll finish the program she’s working on by next week, but Don’t quote me on that. Aida: … Читать далее

Samantha: Hello. Terry: Hey, Samantha. It’s Terry. Samantha: Oh, hi Terry. How’s it going? Terry: Not bad. Hey, the reason I’m calling is that I heard from Veronica that you’re looking for a Used car. Samantha: Yeah, I’m hoping to find something Reliable but cheap. Terry: Well, I have Just the thing for you. My … Читать далее

Dennis: I just got a new Sales job and I’m going to be Making a bundle. Irene: What kind of job is it? Dennis: I’ll be Working strictly on commission. The more I sell, the more I earn. It’s a great opportunity for someone with my talents in sales. Irene: I know you’re great at … Читать далее

Roland: Why are you so nervous about flying? Natalie: I’m not nervous about being in the air. It’s going through Security. I hear it’s a Hassle and I don’t want to end up being Strip-searched. Roland: You won’t be strip-searched. All you need to do is to follow a few simple rules. When you get … Читать далее

Hello, business students. I’m here today At your professor’s request to talk to you about the importance of finding your own Niche in business. Conventional wisdom says that people in business need To diversify their Skill sets so that they can be the most flexible in whatever field they decide to enter. While there is … Читать далее

Dad: Where have you been? Do you know what time it is? Caitlin: I’m sorry, Dad. I Lost track of time. Dad: Lost track of time? We’ve been Worried sick about you. You were Supposed to come Straight home after school. Caitlin: I know, but Janet was showing me something in her Locker when a … Читать далее

Going to the doctor is never Particularly pleasant for me. But I couldn’t Put it off Any longer. It was time for my Annual physical, and there was no Getting around it. So I picked up the phone and called for an appointment. «I’d like to see Dr. Shimoya next week, please, if that’s possible,» … Читать далее

Teacher: Welcome, everybody, to this Self-defense class. Today, you’ll learn how To size up a situation and how to tell the difference between a Harmless situation and a Threatening one. You’ll also begin to learn some Hand-to-hand combat moves To defend yourselves. Amy: Oh, good. I can’t wait to learn some Martial arts so I … Читать далее

Walt: What are you doing? Francesca: I’m selecting and organizing my photos for a Presentation. Walt: Oh, can I see? All of these photos are of feet! Francesca: Well, I am a Podiatrist and I’m giving a talk about foot conditions. Walt: Ew, some of these are really Disgusting! Francesca: You’re looking at some of … Читать далее

Louise: What’s the matter with you? Gil: I just got off the phone with my mom and she says they’re planning a welcome-home party for me next week – at a restaurant! Louise: What’s wrong with that? Gil: After Living abroad for a year, I was really looking forward to a Home-cooked meal. Louise: Why … Читать далее

I like listening to the radio on my morning Commute each day. This morning, though, my favorite DJs weren’t On the air. ………… Howard: Do you know what happened to the Kelvin and Ben show this morning? Robin: Kelvin and Ben are both on Suspension. The FCC fined the radio station. Apparently, Kelvin and Ben … Читать далее

I arrived a little early for my sales appointment with the Office manager of Lyon Industries, and spoke to the Receptionist. Juri: Hello. I’m here for my 11:30 appointment with Sue Gibbons. Receptionist: What is your name? Juri: It’s Juri Lakoff. Receptionist: I’ll let her know that you’re here. [Speaking into the telephone] Sue, this … Читать далее

Hotel Clerk: Can I help you with something? Victor: Yes, I was hoping you could recommend a restaurant nearby. Clerk: What kind of food would you like? Victor: I’m not Picky. I’m looking for something moderately priced That’s within Walking distance. Clerk: There’s a good seafood restaurant called “Galeno’s” about two blocks away. Would you … Читать далее