Rafael: They’re playing Pomp and Circumstance and the Graduates are Filing in. Do you see your daughter? I don’t see my son. April: No, we’re too far from the field and everybody is wearing a Cap and gown. It’s hard to see who’s who. Rafael: Oh, there’s the Dean and I think that’s the Commencement … Читать далее
Bruno: Hey, what are you doing? Give me back that Remote! Tamara: The movie I want to watch is on right now. Do you mind? Bruno: Of course I mind! I’m watching the Playoffs. Can’t you see that? Tamara: The playoffs? Oh, I’ll watch with you. Bruno: You? You don’t know anything about sports. Tamara: … Читать далее
I’m not what you would call The world’s best negotiator, but sometimes it’s necessary to engage in a Tough negotiation. Take, for instance, the time I had to Renew the Lease on my apartment. This was Back in college, when I was renting a small Studio in the Miracle Mile area of Los Angeles. When … Читать далее
Marco: Hello. Claudia: Hey, Marco? It’s Claudia. Got a minute? Marco: Sure. What’s up? Claudia: I’m just wondering What’s going on with you and Beth. Are you guys still Going out? Marco: We went out for a while, but we never Got serious. Why all the questions? Are you interested in Beth? Claudia: (Laughs) No, … Читать далее
Ginger: I can’t believe it. You’re late again! Fred: I got Caught up at work. What are you so Worked up about? Ginger: I’ve Had it up to here with your Excuses. If you knew you were going to be late, why didn’t you call? We’ve Been over this a hundred times. Fred: There wasn’t … Читать далее
Tim: Damn it! Pam: What’s the matter? Tim: It’s this Copier. My Original didn’t come out of the Feeder and there’s a paper Jam. Pam: Let me see if I can Clear it. This machine is really Temperamental. Tim: Tell me about it. Pam: Okay, I found your original, but it’s Stuck. I’m afraid if … Читать далее
Josh: We are going to get you out of those Baggy sweatpants and into some pants that fit. Kayla: I don’t like pants that are too Formfitting. Josh: I’m not suggesting you buy Skintight leggings, but some nice Slacks would be Slimming. Kayla: I like pants with an Elastic waistband. They’re more comfortable. Josh: Just … Читать далее
Jim: We only have three minutes before the movie starts. You Grab two seats and I’ll Hit the Concession stand. … Suki: Can I help you? Jim: Yes, I’d like a large Popcorn and a Hot dog with The works. Suki: Anything else? Jim: Yes, I’ll also take an order of Nachos and a Pretzel. … Читать далее
The four members of Led Zeppelin have been voted the UK’s ideal supergroup, with Robert Plant beating the late Freddie Mercury to best singer. About 3,500 music fans were polled for Planet Rock Radio and were asked to create their fantasy band. Jimmy Page won best guitarist, followed by Guns N’ Roses’ Slash and Deep … Читать далее
A man who hid from the Charlie Hebdo gunmen is suing French media who revealed his whereabouts. Lilian Lepere stayed under a sink for eight hours after the gunmen began a siege at the printing shop in which he worked in a Paris suburb in January. The men — Said and Cherif Kouachi — had … Читать далее
I went to the Bike shop On Saturday morning to buy a bicycle. Clerk: What kind of bike are you looking for? Lance: I’m really not sure. Clerk: Well, let me show you what we have. We carry Road bikes, mountain bikes, beach cruisers, and Racing bikes. Lance: I’m going to start biking to work. … Читать далее
I was reading the newspaper this morning and saw a story about a university student Arrested and Charged with Burglary and Assault. Last Monday, this student hit a Security guard over the head, Broke into his professor’s office, and Stole the professor’s computer. He wasn’t doing well in the class and thought that he could … Читать далее
Carson: Your apartment is going to look fabulous once I’m finished Decorating it! Brooke: I really appreciate you taking the time to help me choose some furniture, but I’d really like to keep the look Conservative and traditional. Carson: Nonsense! You have a fabulous new apartment and I’m going to help you Make the most … Читать далее
Jamal: Have you found a place for us to stay in Chicago? Erin: I’m still Exploring the options. Instead of a Run-of-the-mill chain hotel, I thought we could do something different. Jamal: How different? Erin: I thought we might stay in a Cabin near the lake. Jamal: A cabin? That sounds a little too rustic … Читать далее
Stocker: Can I help you find something? Meg: Yes, I’m looking for coffee. Stocker: That’s on Aisle 3. Let me show you where it is. Meg: Thanks. Hmm, I don’t see the Jitters Brand that I normally buy. Stocker: It looks like we’re Out of stock. We should get another Shipment next week. Meg: Okay, … Читать далее
Michael: I have some Qualms about how we’re handling these accounts. Leona: What do you mean? Michael: There are strict Regulations governing what we can and cannot do, and I think we’re Violating those regulations. Leona: Listen, it’s a matter of Interpretation. We’re not Flouting any regulations. We’re just not Following the letter of the … Читать далее
The couple were married in 1925 and they have eight children and 27 grandchildren. A man who was one half of what is believed to be the longest-married couple in the UK has died aged 110. Karam Chand, of Bradford, died on Friday after 90 years of marriage to his wife Kartari. The pair, who … Читать далее
I had lunch today with my friend Sam. She recently quit her job with a large company to Strike out on her own. She has always been an Entrepreneur in small ways, but she decided to start her own business. The Start-up she Launched provided technology Consulting services for small — to Medium-sized Companies. At … Читать далее
Dad: Honey, I have some bad news for you. Fluffy has Gone to the other side. Sarah: You mean she’s out of her cage again? I’ll go and try to find her. Dad: No, you don’t understand. Fluffy Passed away in the night. Sarah: Oh, she Died! That’s too bad, but she was Getting up … Читать далее
Christina: What is the Holdup? There are cars Backed up for half a mile. Harry: I bet the Border patrol is looking for Smugglers. Christina: Do you really think so? I wonder if there could be a Drug mule in one of these cars carrying Illegal drugs. Harry: It might be drugs, but it could … Читать далее
Victor: Oh, doctor, you’ve got to help me! Doctor: Try to relax. What seems to be the problem? Victor: I’m Sneezing all the time, and my eyes are Itchy and Watery. Doctor: Tilt your head back so I can take a look at your Nasal passages. You’re very congested. Victor: My Sinuses are killing me! … Читать далее
Ronny: Ready? Judy: Ready as I’ll ever be. Ronny: Try To work up a little Enthusiasm about meeting my parents. Judy: It’s not them I’m worried about. It’s me. What if I don’t Pass muster? Ronny: My parents are going to love you. They’re Open-minded and Nonjudgmental people. They won’t care about anything except that … Читать далее
Nancy: Isn’t this a great time of year? Families get together over the holidays. Yasmani: Maybe it’s nice for some families, but I Dread my family Get-togethers. Nancy: How come? Yasmani: I have a big family and there has always been a lot of Sibling rivalry. Nancy: I’m sure that was true when you were … Читать далее
Chris: Which colleges are you applying to? Marcella: None. I can’t afford to go to college. Even if I lived at home, Tuition, fees, and books are just too expensive. Chris: You could apply for Financial aid. Marcella: I don’t want to get a bunch of Loans and be In debt for the next 10 … Читать далее
My company sent me on my first business trip, and I was supposed to travel around the city in Taxis. Having never ridden in a taxi before, I had problems From start to finish. First, I had trouble Hailing a Cab. I didn’t realize that when the taxi’s light is off that the Cabbie is … Читать далее
Shawna: Hello, Shawna Davis. Monty: Hello, Shawna. This is Monty Lofti at BMC. I need to talk to you about our ad that ran in your newspaper yesterday. Shawna: Sure, Monty. Was there a problem? Monty: Yes, there Certainly was a problem. Instead of the picture of our model, there was a picture of a … Читать далее
It’s Friday night and my Roommate and I feel like Staying in. We’ve both had a Tough week at work and decided to have a Low-key evening. On my way home, I stopped at the Video rental store And rented a couple of movies. I got a New release and a Classic. I thought I … Читать далее
Laura: Oh, I didn’t think I’d Make it home in time for the game. Jun: What game? Laura: The Playoffs! Turn on the TV. I hope it’s still in the First quarter. It is! Who’s winning? What’s the Score? Jun: I don’t know. You know I don’t watch sports. Whao! That was a Great shot. … Читать далее
Ryan: It’s really nice of you to make dinner for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a home-cooked meal. Corrie: I’m happy to do it. First, though, let’s see what you have in your fridge. Ryan: I have tons of food in there. Corrie: What is that? It looks Moldy. Ryan: Oh, … Читать далее
I was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid … Читать далее
BEIJING — Former NBA all-star center Yao Ming is now dishing out assists to much wilder targets. After retiring from the Houston Rockets in 2011, Yao returned to China and set out to end his homeland’s traditional appetite for endangered and threatened animal products. As an ambassador for international conservation organization WildAid, Yao has campaigned … Читать далее
Monica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My … Читать далее
Wei: What’s wrong? You look like you’re in pain. Jason: My stomach is Acting up again. Wei: It’s all of this Stress. I don’t know how anyone can Cope with the Pressures you’re under. Jason: It’s nothing. I’ll just take a pill for my stomach. Wei: That won’t solve the problem. Look at you. You … Читать далее
Sales clerk: Good afternoon. What can I help you find? Bo: I’m looking for a Suit for work. Sales clerk: I’m sure we have something for you. Are you looking for a traditional or Contemporary suit? Bo: I’m not sure. I’d like To try on some different ones. Sales clerk: That’s no problem. Let me … Читать далее
Washington (CNN)In a rare joint action with attorneys general for each of the 50 states, the Federal Trade Commission says four cancer charities run by extended members of the same family conned donors out of $187 million from 2008 through 2012 and spent almost nothing to help actual cancer patients. Each of the charities charged … Читать далее
Julio: Mom, don’t you think it’s time To get rid of some of the stuff in this house? Mom: Why? This house is fine the way it is. Julio: There are parts of this house that are nearly Inaccessible. There are Stacks of magazines and bags and boxes everywhere. Mom: I need all that stuff. … Читать далее
Now here’s something you wouldn’t expect. Coca-Cola is being sued by a non-profit public interest group, on the grounds that the company’s vitaminwater products make unwarranted health claims. No surprise there. But how do you think the company is defending itself? In a staggering feat of twisted logic, lawyers for Coca-Cola are defending the lawsuit … Читать далее
I have always wanted to be a News reporter. When I was about 10 years old, I would write my own news stories and Publish them in my own newspaper. In reality, the newspaper was just a piece of paper on which I’d written my stories and drew my pictures, but it was My first … Читать далее
Margaret: Okay, the teacher said that we should set up an ideal Form of government for our Imaginary country and then work out detailed plans for Governance. Tony: I think the simplest is a Dictatorship. I’ll make all of the decisions. Margaret: You’re sounding like a Fascist. This is supposed to be a Partnership, remember? … Читать далее
Andrea: What are you doing? Stephanie: I’m coming up with a list of Christmas carols to sing when we go Caroling. Andrea: Can I come? Stephanie: Uh, I don’t think… Andrea: What? You don’t think I can Sing in tune? Stephanie: No, it’s not that… Andrea: You think I’m going to forget the Lyrics? Stephanie: … Читать далее
It was going to be my wife’s 30th birthday this week and I was Surprising her with a trip to San Diego for the weekend. Since it was going to be a surprise, I needed to Pack both of our Bags before Picking her up from work and Hitting the road. Packing my stuff was … Читать далее
Becky: What are we going to do? Saeed: I don’t know. I need time to think about the Ramifications of Blowing the whistle. Becky: There are No two ways about it. If we Step up and do the right thing, we are putting our jobs On the line. Saeed: But we can’t keep quiet about … Читать далее
(The phone rings.) Lucy: Hello. Jeff: Hey Lucy, it’s Jeff. Lucy: Hey, welcome back. How was your vacation? Jeff: Oh, it was great. The seven days in New York was a Blast. Lucy: Oh, yeah? Did you do any sightseeing or just visit with friends? Jeff: I got to do both, actually. First, I saw … Читать далее
Patricia: Finally! That empty building has a new Tenant. That’s great for the neighborhood. Francois: Think again. The new tenant plans to open a Strip club. Patricia: A strip club in the middle of a Residential neighborhood?! That must be a Violation of city Ordinances. The city won’t allow that. Francois: I’m not so sure. … Читать далее
Agent: Hello, Krashit Insurance. Jackie: Hi, I wanted to get a Quote for car insurance. Agent: Sure, I can help you with that. I Assume you want Liability insurance, but what other Coverage would you like to get? Jackie: Umm…I’m not sure. This is my first car. Agent: In that case, let me make a … Читать далее
Keurig Green Mountain made $4.7 billion in revenue last year. Much of that money came thanks to K-Cups, the coffee-in-a-pod system invented by cofounder John Sylvan. He knew he had a hit on his hands when he was figuring out the pod mechanism back in the ’90s. «It’s like a cigarette for coffee, a single-serve … Читать далее
Rebecca: You look exhausted! Another tough day at the Daycare center? Puneet: Yeah, it was. This is a Record year for the kids getting sick. The Chicken pox is Going around. Last year, it was the Measles. The year before that, it was the Mumps. This year, it’s the chicken pox. Rebecca: You sent the … Читать далее
Mindy: Hey, where are you going? Eric: I’m going to Traffic court. I got a parking Ticket and I’m going to Fight it. Mindy: How much was the Fine? Eric: It was Only $40. But it’s not the money, it’s the Principle of the thing. Mindy: Why? Weren’t you parked Illegally? Eric: No, I wasn‚Aot. … Читать далее
An alarming sight to be sure — Ben, an injured bull elephant, approached the lodge to ask for help. IF YOU need further proof that elephants are highly-intelligent animals, this is it. Ben, an injured bull elephant — thought to be 30-years-old — gave staffers at the Bumi Hills Safari Lodge in Kariba, Zimbabwe the … Читать далее
Delilah: Could you Turn that down? Josh: What? Delilah: Could you turn your music down? Josh: Oh, sure. Is there a problem? Delilah: No, there’s no problem. I was just trying to do some reading and the Ear-splitting music coming from your room made it hard To concentrate. Josh: Sorry. I didn’t think it was … Читать далее