Redneck wins lottery

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1. Winning the LotteryDaniela: I got our Lottery tickets during my lunch break. The Jackpot is up to $168 million. Imagine if we won. Boris: Thanks for getting mine, too. When is the drawing? Daniela: Saturday at 6 PM. It’s being Televised on channel 4. Boris: What would you do if you had $168 million? Daniela: The first ... Читать далее...
2. Appeals Court Orders Woman Who Hid $1.3 Million Lottery Jackpot From Estranged Husband to Give It to HimA woman who kept $1.3 million in lottery winnings secret from her estranged husband to avoid having to give him half in their divorce settlement will now have to turn over the whole pot to him, this district’s Court of Appeal ruled Friday. Denise Rossi must give up her entire lottery share under a Family ... Читать далее...
3. How MIT Students Won $8 Million in the Massachusetts LotteryMIT students figured out how to make winning the Massachusetts lottery a sure thing, and a recent investigation suggests that the lottery commission knew about it. Maybe Uncle Ben was right: With great power comes great responsibility. While most students at the famed Massachusetts Institute of Technology use their powers for good — for example, ... Читать далее...
4. A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invitesA Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites his family to a dinner. He then stands up to thank everyone. «First I must thank my beautiful wife for her help and support, then I want to thank my children, and the lottery commission.» «Then I would like to thank Adolf Hitler». Suddenly everyone ... Читать далее...
5. You might be a redneck if 10You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are «Howdy!», «HEY!» or «How Y’all Doin’?» (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve ... Читать далее...
6. You might be a redneck if 03You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his ... Читать далее...
7. Пословица / поговорка slow and steady wins the race — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: slow and steady wins the race Перевод: тише едешь, дальше будешь Пример: Slow and steady wins the race and the man was successful because of his hard work and patient determination. Тише едешь, дальше будешь, и у этого человека был успех потому, что он много работал и был очень решительно настроен....
8. You might be a redneck if 01You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not ... Читать далее...
9. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
10. You might be a redneck if 02You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it ... Читать далее...
11. You might be a redneck if 09You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon ... Читать далее...
12. You might be a redneck if 07You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. ... Читать далее...
13. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
14. You might be a redneck if 06You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are «Attention K-Mart shoppers.» The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from ... Читать далее...
15. You might be a redneck if 04You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part ... Читать далее...
16. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы claim check[claim check] {n.} A ticket needed to get back something. The man at the parking lot gave Mrs. Collins a claim check. The boy put the dry cleaning claim check in his billfold. The man told Mary the pictures would be ready Friday and gave her a claim check....
18. Mega Millions Winners Might Not Be So Lucky: Jack Whittaker and More Unlucky Lotto WinnersAre you bummed that you didn’t win the $640 million Mega Millions jackpot? Don’t be-it turns out winning the lottery can often be a terrible curse. From Jack Whittaker, who says he wishes’we had torn the ticket up,’ to Evelyn Adams, who won twice and gambled it all away, The Daily Beast rounds up the ... Читать далее...
19. Next US PresidentA redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: «I’d like to become the next President of the United States.» The receptionist: «What are you, an idiot?» Redneck: «Why, is it required?»...
20. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
21. A note exchangeA driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: «I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.» Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: «I’ve circled the block ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова ticketTicket — билет, квитанция Перевод слова Ticket stub — корешок билета airplane ticket — билет на самолет bus ticket — автобусный билет Can I see your Ticket, please? Разрешите ваш билет, пожалуйста. I got a Ticket for speeding. Мне выписали штраф за превышение скорости. The plane Ticket costs $170. Этот авиабилет стоит 170 долларов....
23. Who is doing the work around here?The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work. People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work. Because of the 31 million government employees, there are ... Читать далее...
24. A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonadeA Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he’ll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response: «Go stand on the corner for ... Читать далее...
25. Get me off this trainOne day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: «Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I’m very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So ... Читать далее...
26. Buying your ticketThree engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. «How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?» asks an accountant. «Watch and you’ll see,» answers an engineer. They all ... Читать далее...
27. Got a second?God, I was wondering…how long is a million years to you?» God answered, «Son, a million years to me is like a second to you.» So the man asks, «God how much is a million dollars to you?» And God answered, «Son a million dollars to me is like one penny to you.» So the ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы stake a claim[stake a claim] {v. phr.} 1. To claim ownership of land by drivingstakes to show boundaries. The gold hunters staked claims in theWest. 2. {informal} To claim a person or thing as your own by somesign. Usually used with «on». George staked a claim on Dianne bygiving her his class ring....
29. Перевод идиомы see the color of someone’s money, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: see the color of someone’s money Перевод: убедиться в наличии денег у кого-либо Пример: I did not give my friend a ticket for the game until I saw the color of his money. Я дал своему другу билет на игру только когда убедился, что у него есть деньги....
30. An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where theyAn old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man ... Читать далее...
31. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы split ticket[split ticket] {n.} A vote for candidates from more than one party. Mr. Jones voted a split ticket. An independent voter likes asplit ticket. Contrast: STRAIGHT TICKET....
33. A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnantA woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, «Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?» The doctor answered, «Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy ... Читать далее...
34. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one dayArnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова claimClaim — требовать, заявлять, утверждать Перевод слова Territorial claims — территориальные претензии to claim the inheritance — заявить права на наследство to counter a claim — опровергать утверждение He Claimed that he’d been cheated. Он заявил, что его одурачили. All Claims must be made in writing. Все претензии должны быть сделаны в письменной форме. The ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод идиомы hit the jackpot, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: hit the jackpot Перевод: сорвать куш, сорвать банк (в игре); быть очень удачливым, преуспевать Пример: My friend hit the jackpot when she bought a lottery ticket last week. Моя подруга сорвала куш, когда купила лотерейный билет на прошлой неделе....
37. Значение идиомы on die money[on die money] {adv. phr.} Exactly right; exactly accurate. Algernon won the lottery; the numbers he picked were right on themoney. Compare: ON THE NOSE....
38. Bank TellerBank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, «I want to open a fucking checking account». «Please sir», she replies, «we can’t have language like that in here.» «Why the Fuck not?» he asked. «Sir,» Came her retort, «I must ask you to refrain from swearing.» «I ... Читать далее...
39. Honesty is the best policyA very very rich gentleman dies, leaving his fortune to his only living friends, a Doctor, a CEO, and a Lawyer. But being the eccentric he was, his will stipulated that each one must place their third of the money in his coffin before he is put in his final resting place. The funeral comes ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы straight ticket[straight ticket] {n.} A vote for all the candidates of a singleparty. Uncle Fred was a loyal member of his party. He always votedthe straight ticket. Contrast: SPLIT TICKET....