An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they

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1. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women […]...
2. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said “I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!” He then continues […]...
3. Saving and Spending Money In my family, there are Penny-pinchers and Spendthrifts, and Everything in between. My brother Frank has the Reputation for being Stingy with money. He likes To save up and only Spend when he has to. I bet he has a lot Stashed away. He’s Careful with money but he does spend it when he thinks […]...
4. Marriage quotes 12 Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. – W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled […]...
5. Пословица / поговорка money begets money – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: money begets money Перевод: деньги к деньгам идут Пример: The young man was very well aware of the fact that money begets money, which is why he was so careful with the way he spent his money. Этот молодой человек прекрасно понимал, что деньги идут к деньгам, и поэтому он очень внимательно […]...
6. I trying to prove a point A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says “I want you […]...
7. Биография Уильяма Хогарта на английском языке. Biography of William Hoggarth William Hoggart is one of the greatest of English artists of the 18th century. He made his name as an artist painting “conversation pieces”. These little pictures were very popular in England during the 18th century. They represented members of the same family or close friends having tea, playing cards, or simply talking to one […]...
8. HOW TO COOK A TURKEY! HOW TO COOK A TURKEY! (The Thanksgiving Special) Step 1:Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) of JD Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step […]...
9. A young boy was visiting his grandfather’s farm A young boy was visiting his grandfather’s farm when one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his grandfather playing with himself. The boy says, “What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?” Grandpa replies, “No sonny, just jacking!”...
10. Daily Chores on a Farm Cesar: Rise and shine! It’s time to get to work. Karol: What?! It’s four o’clock in the morning. The sun isn’t even up yet. Cesar: You live on a Farm now. We have a lot of Chores to do before Sunup and we need to start doing them now. Karol: I’ll Milk the cows later. […]...
11. A man walks into a pub The following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, “cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! – I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.” The man takes his whiskey and downs it. “Same again?” asks the barman. “Okay” […]...
12. Значение идиомы money [money] See: COIN MONEY or MINT MONEY, EASY MONEY, FOOL AND HISMONEY ARE SOON PARTED, FOR LOVE OR MONEY, IN THE CHIPS or IN THEMONEY, MADE OF MONEY, MARRY MONEY, PUT ONE’S MONEY ON A SCRATCHEDHORSE, RUN FOR ONE’S MONEY, SEE THE COLOR OF ONE’S MONEY, SPENDINGMONEY or POCKET MONEY....
13. Значение идиомы spending money [spending money] or [pocket money] {n.} Money that is given to aperson to spend. When the seniors went to New York City on a trip, each was given $10 in spending money. Father gave John a nickel inpocket money when he went to the store with Mother....
14. Before performing a baptism, the priest approached Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?” “I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.” “I don’t mean […]...
15. A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:”Ok. I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry. Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped him:”What’s going on out there?” […]...
16. Women’s instructions WOMEN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So […]...
17. Перевод слова careful Careful – заботливый, внимательный, осторожный Перевод слова Careful mother – заботливая мать careful analysis – вдумчивый анализ careful step – осторожный, осмотрительный шаг He is a Careful driver. Он внимательный водитель. I promise to be Careful. Я обещаю быть осторожным. Be careful! The stove is hot! Будь осторожен! Плита горячая! Происхождение слова careful Образовано от […]...
18. Перевод слова marry Marry – жениться Перевод слова To marry off a daughter – выдать дочь замуж to marry legally – жениться по закону marry beneath one – вступить в неравный брак I will never Marry you! Я никогда не женюсь на тебе! I asked her to Marry me. Я попросил ее выйти за меня замуж. She consented […]...
19. Значение идиомы penny wise and pound foolish [penny wise and pound foolish] Wise or careful in small things butnot careful enough in important things. – A proverb. Mr. Smith’sfence is rotting and falling down because he wouldn’t spend money topaint it. He is penny wise and pound foolish....
20. A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. “Why not?” said I. “Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all […]...
21. British and American families – Британские и американские семьи British and American families are small. In fact the populations of both Britain and the USA have stopped growing. The typical family has a father, mother and two children. Grandparents come to visit, but do not usually live with their children. Most people get married between the ages of 20 and 23 but many marriages […]...
22. Marriage quotes 05 Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. – Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; […]...
23. Значение идиомы lock the barn door after the horse is stolen [lock the barn door after the horse is stolen] To be careful or tryto make something safe when it is too late. – A proverb. After Maryfailed the examination, she said she would study hard after that. Shewanted to lock the barn door after the horse was stolen....
24. Three Chinese daughters A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry. “I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest”, said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. “I would like to marry a […]...
25. Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...
26. At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20. Grandpa’s doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl could be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbed replied “Oh well, if she dies, I’ll just get myself another one.”...
27. Значение идиомы like water [like water] {adv. phr.} As something easily poured out or wasted;freely. – Usually used in the phrase “spend money like water”. Sailors on shore leave often spend money like water. During theWorld Wars, the United States spent money like water....
28. A historical example A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair […]...
29. Значение идиомы look a gift horse in the mouth [look a gift horse in the mouth] To complain if a gift is notperfect. – A proverb. Usually used with a negative. John gave Joe abaseball but Joe complained that the ball was old. His father told himnot to look a gift horse in the mouth....
30. British and American Families Топик Британские и американские семьи рассказывает, чем схожи и чем отличаются семьи в Англии и США. Как правило, семьи небольшие, и население обеих стран растет не из-за естественного прироста, а в результате иммиграции. Очень много неполных семей, образ жизни примерно одинаков, но семьи в Америке имеют больший доход, чем в Великобритании. British and American families […]...
31. Значение идиомы dig down [dig down] {v.}, {slang} To spend your own money. The school let the club use the bus and driver free for their trip, but they had to dig down to pay for gas and meals. “So you broke Mrs. Brown’s window?” Tom’s father said, “You’ll have to dig down and pay for it”....
32. Значение идиомы put one’s money on a scratched horse [put one’s money on a scratched horse] {v. phr.}, {informal} To beton a certain failure; to gamble without a chance of winning. Youbet on the New York Mets to win the World Series? Why put your moneyon a scratched horse? Compare: STACK THE CARDS....
33. Значение идиомы cart before the horse [cart before the horse ] {n. phr.}, {informal} Things in wrong order; something backwards or mixed up. – An overused expression. Usually used with “put” but sometimes with “get” or “have”. When the salesman wanted money for goods he hadn’t delivered, I told him he was putting the cart before the horse. To get married […]...
34. Значение идиомы horse [horse] See: BET ON THE WRONG HORSE, CART BEFORE THE HORSE, CHANGEHORSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM or CHANGE HORSES IN MIDSTREAM, EATLIKE A HORSE, HOLD ONE’S HORSES. IRON HORSE, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTERTHE HORSE IS STOLEN, LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, OFF ONE’S HIGHHORSE, ON ONE’S HIGH HORSE, PUT ONE’S […]...
35. Spirits in Ireland Топик Ирландский алкоголь расскажет об истории ирландского виски и ирландского пива “Гиннесс”. Если сравнить между собой шотландский виски и ирландский, то между ними будет разница. И вот еще один очень интересный лингвистический факт: даже слово “виски” в Шотландии и Ирландии пишутся по-разному. Здесь даже приводится рецепт “кофе по-ирландски” и вы, конечно, сможете его правильно приготовить, […]...
36. Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, […]...
37. With all the recent talk of cloning With all the recent talk of cloning, you’d think it was a new thing. But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago. The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the\ madder the father got. One day, the father got so mad he pushed […]...
38. Just cut your hair first A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.” Father replies, :”O. K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months […]...
39. Перевод идиомы beat a dead horse, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: beat a dead horse Перевод: тратить впустую время, делать пустые попытки; толочь воду в ступе Пример: They won’t refund your money. You’re beating a dead horse. Они не вернут тебе деньги. Ты зря тратишь свое время....
40. Значение идиомы farm out [farm out] {v.} 1. To have another person do for you;send away to be done. Our teacher had too many test papers to read, so she farmed out half of them to a friend. 2. To send away to betaken care of. While Mother was sick, the children were farmed outto relatives. 3. To send […]...