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Bying a horse

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. “Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?” So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse s mouth. “Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?” So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes. “Ok, what about the earsth?” Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears. “OK, finally, I d like to see her twat,” said the midget. With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up the horse’s twat, then pulled him out. Shaking his head, the midget says, “perhapth I should rephrase. I’d like to see her run!”


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 ΠΎΡ†Π΅Π½ΠΎΠΊ, срСднСС: 5.00 ΠΈΠ· 5)


Related topics:

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  2. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ horse trade [horse trade] {n.} 1. The sale of a horse or the exchange of twohorses. It was a horse trade in which the owner of the worse animalgave a rifle to... ...

  3. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ straight from the horse’s mouth [straight from the horse’s mouth] {slang} Directly from the personor place where it began; from a reliable source or a person thatcannot be doubted. They are going to be married.... ...

  4. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence... ...

  5. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ look a gift horse in the mouth [look a gift horse in the mouth] To complain if a gift is notperfect. – A proverb. Usually used with a negative. John gave Joe abaseball but Joe complained that... ...

  6. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ straight from the horse’s mouth, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: straight from the horse’s mouth ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: ΠΈΠ· ΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π²Ρ‹Ρ… уст; со слов Ρ‚ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ, ΠΊΡ‚ΠΎ Π±Ρ‹Π» нСпосрСдствСнным участником Ρ‡Π΅Π³ΠΎ-Π»ΠΈΠ±ΠΎ ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: I heard about my friend’s wedding straight from the horse’s mouth.... ...

  7. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ mouth [mouth] See: BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN ONE’S MOUTH, BUTTERWOULDN’T MELT IN ONE’S MOUTH, BY WORD OF MOUTH, DOWN IN THE DUMPS orDOWN IN THE MOUTH, FOAM AT THE... ...

  8. ΠŸΠΎΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡ†Π° / ΠΏΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡ€ΠΊΠ° never look a gift horse in the mouth – ΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈ Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅, ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования ΠŸΠΎΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡ†Π° / ΠΏΠΎΠ³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡ€ΠΊΠ°: never look a gift horse in the mouth ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: Π΄Π°Ρ€Π΅Π½ΠΎΠΌΡƒ коню Π² Π·ΡƒΠ±Ρ‹ Π½Π΅ смотрят ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: You should never look a gift horse in the mouth and... ...

  9. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ слова horse Horse – лошадь, конь ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ слова Horse breeding – Ρ€Π°Π·Π²Π΅Π΄Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ лошадСй draught horse – упряТная лошадь heavy draught horse – тяТСловоз Caparison my Horse. Π‘Π΅Π΄Π»Π°ΠΉ ΠΌΠΎΠ΅Π³ΠΎ коня! He jumped his... ...

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  12. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ horse of a different color [horse of a different color] or [horse of another color] {n. phr.},{informal} Something altogether separate and different. Anyone canbe broke, but to steal is a horse of a different color.... ...

  13. A tall woman met a midget at a party A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back... ...

  14. A horse and a rabbit A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the... ...

  15. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ high horse, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: high horse ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: высокомСрноС, Π½Π°Π΄ΠΌΠ΅Π½Π½ΠΎΠ΅ ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€Π΅Π·Ρ€ΠΈΡ‚Π΅Π»ΡŒΠ½ΠΎΠ΅ ΠΎΡ‚Π½ΠΎΡˆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ (часто ΠΈΡΠΏΠΎΠ»ΡŒΠ·ΡƒΠ΅Ρ‚ΡΡ Π² выраТСниях Get on your high horse ΠΈ Get off your high horse) ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: Get off your high horse... ...

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  17. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ horse trade, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: horse trade ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: вСсти Ρ‚Ρ€ΡƒΠ΄Π½Ρ‹Π΅ Π΄Π΅Π»ΠΎΠ²Ρ‹Π΅ ΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡ€Ρ‹, Π° Ρ‚Π°ΠΊΠΆΠ΅ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΡ…ΠΎΠ΄ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ ΠΊ соглашСнию, достигнутому Π² Ρ…ΠΎΠ΄Π΅ Ρ‚Π°ΠΊΠΈΡ… ΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΠ² ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: We had to horse trade but we were finally able to... ...

  18. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ on one’s high horse [on one’s high horse] {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1. Acting as if youare better than others; being very proud and scornful. Martha waschairman of the picnic committee, and at the picnic... ...

  19. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ cart before the horse [cart before the horse ] {n. phr.}, {informal} Things in wrong order; something backwards or mixed up. – An overused expression. Usually used with “put” but sometimes with “get” or... ...

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  23. Using nails on a house These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away.... ...

  24. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ off one’s high horse [off one’s high horse] {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1. Not acting proudand scornful; humble and agreeable. The girls were so kind to Nancyafter her mother died that she came down off... ...

  25. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ слСнгового выраТСния twat, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Π‘Π»Π΅Π½Π³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΠ΅ Π²Ρ‹Ρ€Π°ΠΆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅: twat Π‘Π»Π΅Π½Π³ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΠ΅ Π²Ρ‹Ρ€Π°ΠΆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅: twat Π“Ρ€ΡƒΠ±. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΡ‚, ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠ΄ΡƒΡ€ΠΎΠΊ, нСприятный Ρ‡Π΅Π»ΠΎΠ²Π΅ΠΊ Π‘ΠΈΠ½ΠΎΠ½ΠΈΠΌ: wanker (BrE) ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: Get out, you twat! Убирайся ΠΎΡ‚ΡΡŽΠ΄Π°, ΠΏΠΎΠ΄ΠΎΠ½ΠΎΠΊ!...

  26. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It... ...

  27. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ come down off one’s high horse [come down off one’s high horse] {v. phr.} To become less arrogant; to assume a more modest disposition. The boastful candidate for Congress quickly came down off his high horse... ...

  28. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the... ...

  29. Travel with a horse An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up... ...

  30. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ put one’s money on a scratched horse [put one’s money on a scratched horse] {v. phr.}, {informal} To beton a certain failure; to gamble without a chance of winning. Youbet on the New York Mets to win... ...

  31. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ eat like a horse, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: eat like a horse ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ Π΅ΡΡ‚ΡŒ ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: My friend eats like a horse but he never gains any weight. Мой Π΄Ρ€ΡƒΠ³ ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ Сст, Π½ΠΎ Π½ΠΈΠΊΠΎΠ³Π΄Π° Π½Π΅ Π½Π°Π±ΠΈΡ€Π°Π΅Ρ‚ вСса....

  32. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ iron horse [iron horse] {n.}, {informal} A railroad locomotive; the engine ofa railroad train. In its first days, the iron horse frightened manypeople as it roared across country scattering sparks....

  33. There was once a wide mouth frog There was once a wide mouth frog. She had babies and she didn’t know what to feed them. She went to the cow, talking with her mouth real wide, she... ...

  34. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ get off one’s high horse, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: get off one’s high horse ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: вСсти сСбя поскромнСС, ΠΏΠΎΠΏΡ€ΠΎΡ‰Π΅; ΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π΅ΡΡ‚Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ Π±Ρ‹Ρ‚ΡŒ высокомСрным ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ Π½Π°Π΄ΠΌΠ΅Π½Π½Ρ‹ΠΌ ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: “Sometimes you are so annyoing! Get off your high horse and stop thinking... ...

  35. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ charley horse, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: charley horse ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: судорога (ΠΎΠ±Ρ‹Ρ‡Π½ΠΎ Π² Ρ€ΡƒΠΊΠ΅ ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ Π½ΠΎΠ³Π΅) ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: I got a charley horse in my leg while I was running this morning. Π£ мСня свСло Π½ΠΎΠ³Ρƒ, ΠΊΠΎΠ³Π΄Π°... ...

  36. Π—Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ dark horse [dark horse] {n.}, {informal} A political candidate little known to the general voting public; a candidate who was not expected to run. Every once in a while a dark horse... ...

  37. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ (get) on one’s high horse, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: (get) on one’s high horse ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: вСсти сСбя высокомСрно ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ с ΠΏΡ€Π΅Π·Ρ€Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ΠΌ; ΡΡ‡ΠΈΡ‚Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ сСбя ΡƒΠΌΠ½Π΅Π΅ ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ Π»ΡƒΡ‡ΡˆΠ΅ Π΄Ρ€ΡƒΠ³ΠΈΡ… ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: When he gets carried away he gets on his high... ...

  38. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ horse sense, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: horse sense ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: Π·Π΄Ρ€Π°Π²Ρ‹ΠΉ смысл, Ρ€Π°ΡΡΡƒΠ΄ΠΈΡ‚Π΅Π»ΡŒΠ½ΠΎΡΡ‚ΡŒ ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: Our boss has good horse sense so you can expect him to make an intelligent decision. Наш Π½Π°Ρ‡Π°Π»ΡŒΠ½ΠΈΠΊ ΠΎΡ‡Π΅Π½ΡŒ рассудитСлСн, поэтому моТСшь... ...

  39. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ слова mouth Mouth – Ρ€ΠΎΡ‚; Π΄Π΅ΠΊΠ»Π°ΠΌΠΈΡ€ΠΎΠ²Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ слова Straight from the horse’s mouth – ΠΈΠ· ΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π²Ρ‹Ρ… Ρ€ΡƒΠΊ to mure up one’s mouth – Π·Π°Ρ‚ΠΊΠ½ΡƒΡ‚ΡŒ Ρ‡Π΅ΠΉ-Π». Ρ€ΠΎΡ‚ to mouth empty threats – ΠΈΠ·Ρ€Π΅ΠΊΠ°Ρ‚ΡŒ... ...

  40. ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ‹ dark horse, Π·Π½Π°Ρ‡Π΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ выраТСния ΠΈ ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€ использования Идиома: dark horse ΠŸΠ΅Ρ€Π΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: тСмная лошадка; ΠΏΠΎΠ»ΠΈΡ‚ΠΈΠΊ-ΠΊΠ°Π½Π΄ΠΈΠ΄Π°Ρ‚, ΠΎ ΠΊΠΎΡ‚ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΠΌ общСству ΠΌΠ°Π»ΠΎ Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ извСстно ΠŸΡ€ΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ€: The woman candidate was a dark horse but she won the election easily. ΠšΠ°Π½Π΄ΠΈΠ΄Π°Ρ‚-ΠΆΠ΅Π½Ρ‰ΠΈΠ½Π° Π±Ρ‹Π»Π° Ρ‚Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠΉ... ...