A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade

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1. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
2. Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a new pistol. On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each […]...
3. Значение идиомы sell out [sell out] {v.} 1a. To sell all of a certain thing which a storehas in stock. In the store’s January white sale the sheets andpillowcases were sold out in two days. 1b. To sell all the stock andclose the store; go out of business. The local hardware store soldout last month and was replaced by […]...
4. A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. “Why not?” said I. “Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all […]...
5. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. “Bartender,” he says, “give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.” When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her […]...
6. A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.” […]...
7. Being Under Stress Wei: What’s wrong? You look like you’re in pain. Jason: My stomach is Acting up again. Wei: It’s all of this Stress. I don’t know how anyone can Cope with the Pressures you’re under. Jason: It’s nothing. I’ll just take a pill for my stomach. Wei: That won’t solve the problem. Look at you. You […]...
8. A Jewish Mother Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You’re going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn’t leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. I […]...
9. Jewish fly A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink….he notices that at the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has ever seen….he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must have her….He leans over to the bartender and asks if the bartender has any Spanish-fly in […]...
10. Перевод слова sell Sell – продавать, торговать Перевод слова Sell in bulk – продавать оптом to sell the whole caboodle – продавать все вместе to sell like hot cakes – раскупаться, продаваться нарасхват Toni’s Selling her car for £700. Тони продает свою машину за 700 фунтов. She Sold me again. Опять она меня надула. Buy low and Sell […]...
11. How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father’s business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin....
12. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?” Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says “No, I don’t think […]...
13. Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up “Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch! Then he splashed some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!” “My boy, you’ve witnessed a miracle! What happened […]...
14. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women […]...
15. Short Father Christmas What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? […]...
16. Значение идиомы sell down the river [sell down the river] {v. phr.} To give harmful information aboutsomeone or something to one’s enemies; betray. The traitor sold hiscountry down the river to the enemy army. The criminal told thehiding place of his companions and sold them down the river. Compare:SELL OUT....
17. Перевод слова stomach-ache Stomach-ache – боль в животе Перевод слова I must confess it has given me a Stomach-ache. Должен признаться, что это вызвало у меня боли в животе. We all get Stomach aches, Mr. Bigfoot. У нас у всех иногда болит живот, мистер Бигфут. A coma’s not like a Stomach ache. Кома, это вам не кишечные колики. […]...
18. A small boy is sent to bed by his father A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??” “I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have […]...
19. Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: “Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?” The other answered: “Yeah! It’s probably because they have toys to play with!”...
20. Значение идиомы hard sell [hard sell] {n.}, {informal} A kind of salesmanship characterizedby great vigor, aggressive persuasion, and great eagerness on the partof the person selling something; opposed to “soft sell”. Your hardsell turns off a lot of people; try the soft sell for a change, won’tyou?...
21. Значение идиомы sell one on [sell one on] {v. phr.} To persuade someone to do something. Wewere able to sell our wealthy uncle on the idea of having a jointfamily vacation in Hawaii....
22. Значение идиомы sell off [sell off] {v. phr.} To liquidate one’s holdings of certain setitems. The retired professor had to sell off his rare butterflycollection to meet his health expenses....
23. A little boy walks up to his father and says A little boy walks up to his father and says, “Dad, what does a pussy look like?” Father responds, “well son, before or after sex?” Son, “Well, before?” Father, “picture a tulip with all the petals son.” Son, “well what about after?” Father, “Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!”...
24. Chaim escapes from a mental hospital Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, “Are you Jewish?” The man says, “No.” Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, “You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?” The man replies, “No!” […]...
25. Значение идиомы sell short [sell short] {v.} To think less good orvaluable than is true; underestimate. Don’t sell the team short;the players are better than you think. Some teachers sold Johnshort....
26. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, […]...
27. Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry Son, your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.” The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. “Son, your father will […]...
28. A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that […]...
29. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...
30. A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites his family to a dinner. He then stands up to thank everyone. “First I must thank my beautiful wife for her help and support, then I want to thank my children, and the lottery commission.” “Then I would like to thank Adolf Hitler”. Suddenly everyone […]...
31. What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill you.” A Jewish mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill myself.”...
32. Значение идиомы sell snow to the Eskimos [sell snow to the Eskimos] {v. phr.} To sell something to peoplewho already have a large quantity of the same or similar goods. MyAlaskan friend said, “One of the hottest businesses in Alaska isrefrigeration. You could say that I, as a refrigerator expert, amselling snow to the Eskimos.” See: CARRY COALS TO NEWCASTLE....
33. Фразовый глагол sell out – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: sell out Фразовый глагол: sell out разг. Перевод: предать, сдать кого-либо Пример: He sold out his best friend and told his boss that he was the one to blame. Он сдал своего лучшего друга и рассказал начальнику, что это он во всем виноват....
34. Перевод слова father Father – отец, создатель, порождать Перевод слова Adoptive father – приемный отец Father of his Country – отец отечества cowardice fathers cowardice – одна трусость порождает другую Father carved the ham. Отец резал ветчину. He takes after his Father. Он во всем похож на отца. He will make a splendid Father! Он станет великолепным отцом!...
35. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. “I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and […]...
36. Значение идиомы like father, like son [like father, like son] A son is usually like his father in the wayhe acts. – A proverb. Frank’s father has been on the city council;he is now the mayor, and is running for governor. Frank is on thestudent council and is likely to he class president. Like father, likeson. Mr. Jones and Tommy are […]...
37. Значение идиомы Father’s Day [Father’s Day] {n.} The third Sunday in June set aside especiallyto honor fathers whether living or dead. The children gave nicepresents to their father on Father’s Day....
38. The first Jewish woman President is elected The first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: “Mama, I’ve won the elections, you’ve got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.” “I don’t know, what would I wear?” “Don’t worry, I’ll send you a dressmaker” “But I only eat kosher food” “Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get […]...
39. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing?” His mother replies, “That, son, […]...
40. In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about […]...