Problems from the start
John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.
“I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said. “Why don’t you play with Spot, my dog, while you’re waiting?” He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he’ll jump through.”
The dog followed John onto the balcony and started rolling over. John made a hoop with his arms and Spot jumped through – over the balcony railing. Just then John’s date walked out.
“Isn’t Spot the cutest, happiest dog you’ve ever seen?”
“To tell the the truth, ” he replied, “Spot seemed a little depressed to me!”





Related topics:
- Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ jump through a hoop [jump through a hoop] {v. phr.}, {informal} To do whatever you aretold to do; obey any order. Bob would jump through a hoop forMary. Compare: TWIST AROUND ONE’S LITTLE FINGER,... ...
- A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went... ...
- ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ get the ball rolling / set the ball rolling / start the ball rolling, Π·Π½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΠΆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΡ ΠΈ ΠΏΡΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ ΠΈΡΠΏΠΎΠ»ΡΠ·ΠΎΠ²Π°Π½ΠΈΡ ΠΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΠ°: get the ball rolling / set the ball rolling / start the ball rolling ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: Π½Π°ΡΠ°ΡΡ Π΄Π΅ΠΉΡΡΠ²ΠΎΠ²Π°ΡΡ, Π·Π°ΠΏΡΡΡΠΈΡΡ ΠΏΡΠΎΡΠ΅ΡΡ ΠΡΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ: If we start the ball rolling I’m sure the... ...
- Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. “Sure you can, Mickey,” Charlie said, “Just flap your arms really... ...
- A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of... ...
- Mary was having an affair during the day while Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband’s... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ start up [start up] {v.} 1. To begin operating, The driver started up themotor of the car. The engine started up with a roar. 2. To beginto play. The conductor waved his... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ start in [start in] {v.}, {informal} 1. To begin to do something; start. Fred started in weeding the garden. The family started in eatingsupper. Compare: GO AT. 2. To begin a career.... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ ball [ball] See: BASE ON BALLS, CARRY THE BALL, FLY BALL, FOUL BALL, GET THE BALL ROLLING, SET THE BALL ROLLING, START THE BALL ROLLING, GOPHER BALL, GROUND BALL, HAVE A... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ start out [start out] {v.} 1. To begin to go somewhere. Bill started outfor school on his bicycle. Art started out on a voyage around theworld. Compare: SET OUT. 2. To begin... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ get the ball rolling [get the ball rolling] or [set the ball rolling] or [start the ballrolling] {informal} To start an activity or action; make a beginning;begin. George started the ball rolling at the... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ up in arms [up in arms] {adj. phr.} 1. Equipped with guns or weapons and readyto fight. All of the colonies were up in arms against theRedcoats. Syn.: IN ARMS. 2. Very angry... ...
- Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of... ...
- The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom... ...
- Earn it hiking A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike?... ...
- Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If... ...
- ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²Π° spot Spot – ΠΏΡΡΠ½ΠΎ, ΠΏΠΎΠ·ΠΎΡ; ΠΏΠ°ΡΠΊΠ°ΡΡ, ΠΏΠΎΠ·ΠΎΡΠΈΡΡ ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²Π° Sun spots – ΠΏΡΡΠ½Π° Π½Π° Π‘ΠΎΠ»Π½ΡΠ΅ without a spot on his reputation – Ρ Π½Π΅Π·Π°ΠΏΡΡΠ½Π°Π½Π½ΠΎΠΉ ΡΠ΅ΠΏΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ΅ΠΉ table spotted with ink – ΡΡΠΎΠ»,... ...
- John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and... ...
- ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ jump the gun, Π·Π½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΠΆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΡ ΠΈ ΠΏΡΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ ΠΈΡΠΏΠΎΠ»ΡΠ·ΠΎΠ²Π°Π½ΠΈΡ ΠΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΠ°: jump the gun ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄: ΠΎΠΏΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π΄ΠΈΡΡ ΡΠΎΠ±ΡΡΠΈΡ, Π½Π°ΡΠ°ΡΡ ΡΡΠΎ-Π»ΠΈΠ±ΠΎ ΡΠ°Π½ΡΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΎΠΊΠ° ΠΡΠΈΠΌΠ΅Ρ: He jumped the gun and started selling the tickets before he should have. ΠΠ½ Π½Π°ΡΠ°Π» ΠΏΡΠΎΠ΄Π°Π²Π°ΡΡ Π±ΠΈΠ»Π΅ΡΡ Π½Π°ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ Johnny-on-the-spot [Johnny-on-the-spot] {adj. phr.} At the right place when needed;present and ready to help; very prompt; on time. A good waterboy isalways Johnny-on-the-spot. The firemen were Johnny-on-the-spot andput out the fire... ...
- Who signed the Declaration of Independence? A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. “Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?” He said, “Damn if I know.” She was a little put out by his swearing, so... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ with open arms [with open arms] {adv. phr.} 1. With the arms spread wide forhugging or catching. When Father came home from work, little Sallyran out to meet him with open arms. Dick... ...
- Did you hear about the hillbilly Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees... ...
- Some problems A woman gives birth by a Caesarian and passes out. When she comes to her senses, the doctor approaches her bed and says: “I’m sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith,... ...
- At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
- The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost... ...
- Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ jump on [jump on] or [jump all over] or [land on] or [land all over] {v. phr.}, {informal} To scold; criticize; blame. Tom’s boss jumped allover Tom because he made a careless... ...
- ‘Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and... ...
- Catching the bear Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only... ...
- This man was having problems getting it up to have sex This man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he... ...
- An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned... ...
- Punishment in hell A man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why... ...
- Spain Jokes Spanish dining An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. “These,... ...
- Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. “You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?” The client replied that... ...
- ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²Π° jump Jump – ΠΏΡΡΠ³Π°ΡΡ; ΡΠΊΠ°ΡΠΎΠΊ, ΡΠ΅Π·ΠΊΠΎΠ΅ ΠΏΠΎΠ²ΡΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΠ΅ΡΠ΅Π²ΠΎΠ΄ ΡΠ»ΠΎΠ²Π° To jump for joy – ΠΏΡΡΠ³Π°ΡΡ ΠΎΡ ΡΠ°Π΄ΠΎΡΡΠΈ to jump into a taxi – Π²ΡΠΊΠΎΡΠΈΡΡ Π² ΡΠ°ΠΊΡΠΈ to give a jump –... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ twist one around one’s little finger [twist one around one’s little finger] also [turn one around one’slittle finger] or [wrap one around one’s finger] {v. phr.} To havecomplete control over; to be able to make do... ...
- ΠΠ½Π°ΡΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠ΅ ΠΈΠ΄ΠΈΠΎΠΌΡ start something [start something] {v. phr.}, {informal} To make trouble; cause aquarrel or fight. John is always starting something. Jack likesto play tricks on the other boys to start something. Compare: MAKESOMETHING... ...