Time to quit

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1. As the end of the day drew near As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive called his newly hired assistant into his office. “Do you know what time we quit around here?” he asked. “Sure!” the girl nervously giggled. “Whenever somebody knocks on the door.”...
2. Перевод слова quit Quit – бросать, освобождаться Перевод слова To quit oneself of fear – избавиться от страха to quit the house – съехать с квартиры, переехать в другое место to quit work when the siren sounds – прекращать работу по сигналу сирены to quit a debt – выплатить долг I Quit school at 16. Я бросил школу […]...
3. A young peasant girl of fourteen A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna […]...
4. A business man from New York decided to quit his job A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I […]...
5. Перевод слова handsome Handsome – красивый, статный Перевод слова Handsome dog – большая сильная собака to grow handsome – похорошеть handsome woman – импозантная женщина My teacher is Handsome, strictly! Мой учитель красавчик, это уж точно! He was tall, dark and Handsome. Он был высоким, темноволосым и красивым. Handsome is as Handsome does. Судят по делам, а не […]...
6. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
7. Several weeks after a young man had been hired Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man […]...
8. Excuse TO smoke Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, “You really ought to quit.” She, getting tired of his nagging, said, “I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex.” He replied, “But […]...
9. Перевод слова newly Newly – вновь, заново, по-новому Перевод слова Furniture newly arranged – по-новому расставленная мебель newly arrived – вновь прибывший newly-born child – новорожденный newly married – новобрачный, новобрачная The offices were Newly tabled. В офисах были поставлены новые столы. That grass is Newly seeded, please get off! Газон только что засеяли, пожалуйста, уйдите с него. […]...
10. Значение идиомы handsome is as handsome does [handsome is as handsome does] {informal} A person must act welland generously so that he will be truly worth respecting. – A proverb. Everyone thinks that Bon is a very handsome boy, but he is verymean too. Handsome is as handsome does. Compare: FINE FEATHERS DO NOTMAKE PINE BIRDS....
11. The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris, France, and headed straight for the lingerie counter. He intently studied the array of lacy underthings and the sales lady bustled over to him. “Do you have something in mind?” she asked. “I certainly do, ma’am,” the American emphatically replied. “That’s why I want a […]...
12. The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was aproached by his assistant. “Anything interesting happen over-night”, asked the mortitian. “Yes”, replied the assistant, “The most gorgeous 18 year-old blond came in last night. Dead of course” “What was the cause of death”, enquired the mortition. “I’m not sure”,replied the assistant. “But she’s got […]...
13. Перевод слова executive Executive – исполнительный, администраторский, организаторский Перевод слова Executive power – исполнительная власть executive duties – административные обязанности executive talent – организаторский талант He has an Executive position in the company. Он занимает руководящую должность в компании. She has good Executive skills. У нее хорошие управленческие навыки. In the U. S., the President is the head […]...
14. The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. “She uses too many four-letter words for me,” was the reply. “Really?” “Yes,” answered the playboy. “All evening long she was saying “don’t” and “stop” and “quit that.”...
15. A little girl came running into the house crying A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “Why do you want cider?” asked Mom. “To take the pain away,” sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little […]...
16. Three girls died and were brought to the gates Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.” “Which is…?”, they replied in unison. “Have you been a good girl?”, he asked the first girl. […]...
17. Help the lonely child Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all […]...
18. An unfortunate situation A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to a wealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying. As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant! Don’t get excited. The father […]...
19. Ordering Coffee and Tea Jermaine: I’d like a Decaf drip, To go. Drew: Would you like our light or dark Roast? Jermaine: I’ll just have whatever’s freshly brewed. Drew: Are you sure you don’t want to try an Espresso, an Americano, or a Latte? Jermaine: No, just a decaf coffee. Drew: Sure, no problem. Would you like it hot […]...
20. A little girl was out with her Grandmother A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. “What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.” They’re […]...
21. A guy was driving home one evening A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was “now or never”, he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and […]...
22. Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, “Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me.” The Father said, “Tell me who […]...
23. A girl called the police department and reported that A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, “When did this happen?” She replied, “Last week.” The police then asked, “Why did you wait until now to report it?” Well,” she said. “I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.”...
24. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They […]...
25. Nervous at an Interview I I was On my way to an interview and there was a lot of Traffic on the road. I got to the office In the nick of time For my appointment. I walked into the Lobby of the building and looked at the Directory. I saw that Casey Enterprises was on the Penthouse floor and […]...
26. Значение идиомы draw out [draw out] {v. phr.} 1. To take out; remove. Johnny drew a dollar out of the bank to buy his mother a present. The hunter drew out his gun and shot the snake. 2. To make talk or tell something. Jimmy was bashful but Mrs. Wilson drew him out by asking him about baseball. 3. […]...
27. A little girl was playing up a tree near a church A little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and […]...
28. Перевод слова assistant Assistant – помощник, ассистент, сотрудник Перевод слова Assistant driller – помощник бурильщика assistant examiner – помощник эксперта chairside assistant – помощник стоматолога She motioned to her Assistant. Она кивнула своим помощником. He deputized me as his Assistant. Он назначил меня своим ассистентом. Происхождение слова assistant Образовано от глагола Assist (помогать, содействовать) c помощью суффикса – […]...
29. A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girl friend he’d have it fixed in no time. However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He asked his girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them. She said that would […]...
30. A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, “I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?” Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains, “Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types […]...
31. Fake Niceness – Искусственная любезность I have to deal a lot with various people, including shop assistants and waiters. And I`ve recently faced a serious problem which I`ve called “fake niceness”. One day I walked into a Drug Store, because I badly need a pain-reliever. The girl at the till asked me nothing about my chose but about my day […]...
32. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl. “Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.” “No, not me,” said the girl. “it’s my old aunt here.” “Very well,” said the doctor. “Madam, stick […]...
33. The young playboy took a blind date to an The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I wanna be weighed,” she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “One-twelve,” said […]...
34. The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I wanna be weighed,” she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. “One-twelve,” said […]...
35. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]...
36. Значение идиомы working girl [working girl] {n.}, {slang} 1. Aprostitute. I didn’t know Roxanne was a working girl. 2. A girl, usually single, who supports herself by working in an honest job, suchas in an office, etc. The average working girl can’t afford such afancy car....
37. Their true intention One morning a little girl ran inside and said “Daddy, Daddy my sister and the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barn on all that new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he has his pants down. I think they are about to piss […]...
38. Значение идиомы signed, sealed, and delivered [signed, sealed, and delivered] {adj. phr.} Finished; completed; ina state of completion. “How is the campus renovation plan for thegovernor’s office coming along?” the dean of the college asked.”Signed, sealed, and delivered,” his assistant answered. Compare: CUTAND DRIED; HOOK, LINE AND SINKER....
39. Hiring an accountant Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?” “Twenty-two,” Kowalski replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to […]...
40. The right way to ask a question A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?...