There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked «Could I have a fucket please?» The assistant asked»Pardon sir?». «Can I have a fucket please?» Replied the man. «Oh you mean a bucket!» The shop assistant replied. The old man said «Yes, that’s what I said». So the man paid for his bucket and went into the antique shop.
In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked — «Can I have a cock please?» The cashier looked very puzzled and asked «Pardon?». The man again asked «Can I have a cock please?» The cashier replied «Oh you mean a clock! — yes certainly sir.» So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop.
The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and asked «Can I have a bum please?» The assistant said «Sorry sir what did you say?». So he repeated himself «Can I have a bum please?». The assistant said » Oh right, you mean a bun!». The old man said «Yes that’s what I said in the first place.» So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop.
As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to him and asked «Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?» The man replied «Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while I get my cock out.»There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment