You might be a redneck if 04

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1. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
2. You might be a redneck if 09You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon ... Читать далее...
3. You might be a redneck if 03You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his ... Читать далее...
4. You might be a redneck if 06You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are «Attention K-Mart shoppers.» The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from ... Читать далее...
5. You might be a redneck if 02You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it ... Читать далее...
6. Redneck wins lotteryA Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says «I want my $20 million.» To which the man replied, «No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest ... Читать далее...
7. You might be a redneck if 10You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are «Howdy!», «HEY!» or «How Y’all Doin’?» (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve ... Читать далее...
8. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
9. You might be a redneck if 01You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not ... Читать далее...
10. You might be a redneck if 07You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. ... Читать далее...
11. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
12. New University PromosIt was clear that one day the Ivy League would grow desperate. The the average tuition (per year) for each institution is outta site and they just aren’t getting enough applicants. I understand that in a rash, unprecedented move, some colleges are taking out advertising in the middle of ‘Sesame Street’ episodes, to differentiate themselves ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова tankTank — бак, резервуар; танк Перевод слова Tank skeleton — каркас резервуара petrol tank — бензобак tank attack — танковая атака The fuel Tank’s almost empty. Топливный бак почти пустой. The petrol Tank is leaking. Бензобак протекает. Their vehicle was crushed by an army Tank. Их машину раздавил боевой танк....
14. Yo momma’s so fatYMSF: 1. Her butt has it’s own zip code. 2. When she goes to the grocery store she doesn’t need a cart — she can stack it all on her butt shelf. 3. Congress has designated her butt as a national park. 4. when she stands out front the neighbors wonder where your house went. ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова tapeTape — лента, записывать на ленту (магнитофона) Перевод слова Tape duplication — копирование ленты electrical insulating tape — электрическая изоляционная лента perforated tape — перфолента to tape a telephone conversation — записать телефонный разговор His ankle had been Taped. Его лодыжка была забинтована. The show was recorded on Tape. Шоу было записано на пленку. I ... Читать далее...
16. Next US PresidentA redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: «I’d like to become the next President of the United States.» The receptionist: «What are you, an idiot?» Redneck: «Why, is it required?»...
17. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
18. Перевод слова washWash — мыть, умываться, стирать; мытье, стирка Перевод слова To give a wash — вымыть, помыть to send to the wash — отдать в стирку to wash the shores — омывать берега You Wash and I’ll dry. Ты моешь посуду, а я буду вытирать. Warranted to Wash. При стирке не линяет. His hair needs a ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова principalPrincipal — начальник; главный, основной Перевод слова Principal activity — основная деятельность principal officer — ведущий сотрудник the principal of a firm — глава фирмы Vegetables are the Principal ingredients in this soup. Овощи являются основными ингредиентами в этом супе. He was the Principal contact man and fixer. Он был главным посредником и координатором. The ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова fightFight — борьба, бой; драться Перевод слова Hand-to-hand fight — рукопашный бой free fight — всеобщая драка, свалка to fight like a lion — сражаться как лев She Fought her fear. Она боролась со своим страхом. He was still full of Fight. Он был все еще полон боевого задора. That cock won’t Fight. Этот номер ... Читать далее...
21. At the Gas StationIt’s been a long time since I’ve seen my friends Steve and Liz, and I thought this would be a good weekend to drive up to Santa Barbara to see them. Gas prices have been Through the roof, but I decided to take the short road trip anyway. Before getting on the road, I went ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы friction tape[friction tape] {n.} Black cloth tape with one sticky side usedaround electric wires. The boy fixed his cracked baseball bat withsome friction tape....
23. SAT score decayAs we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years. The following may be the reason why. A math problem in the 60’s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this price. What is his profit? A math problem in the 70’s A ... Читать далее...
24. Requesting a three day passAn Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says «Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!» So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO ... Читать далее...
25. With a puzzled look on his faceWith a puzzled look on his face an Indian boy asked, «Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?» She told him, «Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.» Then he asked, «Why is my sister named Cornflower?» She replied, «Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы masking tape[masking tape] {n.} A paper tape that is stuck around the edges ofa surface being painted to keep the paint off the surface next to it. The painters put masking tape around the window frames to keep thepaint off the glass....
27. When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacherWhen the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said, «I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There’s only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы air one’s dirty linen in public[air one’s dirty linen in public] or [wash one’s dirty linen in public] {v. phr.} To talk about your private quarrels or disgraces where others can hear; make public something embarrassing that should be kept secret. Everyone in the school knew that the superintendent and the principal were angry with each other because they aired ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы red tape[red tape] {n. phr.} Unnecessary bureaucratic routine; needless butofficial delays. If you want to get anything accomplished in ahurry, you have to find someone in power who can cut through all thatred tape....
30. Значение идиомы think tank[think tank] {n.} A company of researchers who spend their timedeveloping ideas and concepts. The government hired a think tank tostudy the country’s need for coins, and was advised to stop makingpennies....
31. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his houseThere was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. «Hey kid!» the farmer says. «Where ya goin’ with that wire?» «Well,» the kid drawls, «this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s ... Читать далее...
32. Describing NudityVenus: Kids, cover your eyes! Don’t look at that. I didn’t know there would be Nudity here. Why did you bring us here? Milo: I brought you here to see this celebration of the beauty of the Human form. Venus: This is Obscene! Look at the Bare breasts on that one and the one over ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод идиомы monkey business, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: monkey business Перевод: 1. валяние дурака, шутливая выходка; 2. незаконная деятельность, жульничество Пример: The kids were involved in some monkey business when the window was broken. Дети валяли дурака, когда разбилось окно. The company was involved in some monkey business with the tax department and has hired a lawyer to defend themselves. Компания была ... Читать далее...
34. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
35. I was walking down an alley last nightI was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, «Help! Help!» coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady’s handbag, but she putting up a Hell of a fight and wouldn’t let go. I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn’t ... Читать далее...
36. Some people are sitting in a barSome people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, «My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG.» Another guy says, «What’s that?» The first guy says, «That means I am a Single, New Age Guy.» Another one says, «My name is Gary, and I am a DINK. A girl asks, «What’s that?» ... Читать далее...
37. Mass brawl in Tunbridge Wells over the last bag of nutsNothing much usually happens in workings men’s clubs. The odd raised voice over a game of dominoes, perhaps. Maybe a shout of glee at a bull check-out at darts. That is until the last packet of dry roasted peanuts is up for grabs. Then, things can get a bit, erm, tasty. A heated row between ... Читать далее...
38. The woman is on fireA lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. ... Читать далее...
39. A Mother’s DictionaryBottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family planning: The art of spacing ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод идиомы wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The man began to wash his best friend’s dirty linen in public after he ... Читать далее...