You might be a redneck if 02

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1. You might be a redneck if 10You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are «Howdy!», «HEY!» or «How Y’all Doin’?» (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve ... Читать далее...
2. Redneck wins lotteryA Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says «I want my $20 million.» To which the man replied, «No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest ... Читать далее...
3. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
4. Holiday Party Festivity LevelsLevel I: Your guests are conversing quietly, nibbling at their hors d’oerves, and sipping their drinks. Later, some of the gather by the piano to sing carols while others admire the ornaments on your tree. Level II: Your guests are talking loudly, wolfing hors d’oerves, and drinking from the bottles. Some people gather by the ... Читать далее...
5. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
6. You might be a redneck if 09You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon ... Читать далее...
7. You might be a redneck if 07You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. ... Читать далее...
8. You might be a redneck if 04You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part ... Читать далее...
9. Christmas tree betterReasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman» A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы go at it hammer and tongs[go at it hammer and tongs] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To attack orfight with great strength or energy; have a bad argument. Billslapped George’s face and now they’re going at it hammer and tongs inback of the house. Helen and Mary have been arguing all day, andnow they are going at it hammer and tongs ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы play possum[play possum] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To pretend to be asleep. Johnny seemed to be fully asleep, but his mother knew that he wasplaying possum. 2. To stay quiet for self-protection; try to escapeattention by inactivity. The rabbit played possum under the bushes, hoping the hunter would not see him. Bob played possum when theteacher ... Читать далее...
12. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
13. You might be a redneck if 01You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not ... Читать далее...
14. You might be a redneck if 03You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his ... Читать далее...
15. You might be a redneck if 06You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are «Attention K-Mart shoppers.» The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from ... Читать далее...
16. Rating Christmas partiesIf you threw a party, the worst thing you could have done was throw the kind of party where your guests, the next day, call you up to say they had a nice time. Now you’ll be expected to throw another great party next year. What you should have done was throw the kind of ... Читать далее...
17. Next US PresidentA redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: «I’d like to become the next President of the United States.» The receptionist: «What are you, an idiot?» Redneck: «Why, is it required?»...
18. It’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go lookIt’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands ... Читать далее...
19. Get me something cheapAfter being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. «How about some perfume?» he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. «That’s a bit much,» said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. «Thats ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы lit up like a Christmas tree[lit up like a Christmas tree] {adj. phr.}, {informal} To be drunk. On New Year’s Eve Ned was lit up like a Christmas tree. Compare:THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND....
21. Перевод идиомы play possum, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: play possum Перевод: притвориться спящим или мертвым Пример: My friend was playing possum and did not respond to the conversation around him. Мой друг прикинулся спящим, и не отвечал на разговор, который велся вокруг него....
22. Перевод слова treeTree — дерево Перевод слова To decorate a Christmas tree — наряжать елку to dig up a tree — выкопать дерево to fit a tree — подрубать дерево The car struck the Tree. Автомобиль врезался в дерево. Monkeys live in Trees. Обезьяны живут на деревьях. The Tree was about to fall. Дерево чуть не упало....
23. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова hammerHammer — молоток, молот; вбивать, забивать Перевод слова Hammer and sickle — серп и молот pneumatic hammer — пневматический молот to hammer nails into a board — вбивать гвозди в доску He was Hammering at the door. Он барабанил в дверь. The home team was Hammered 9 — 0. Команда хозяев была разгромлена со счетом ... Читать далее...
25. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
26. Перевод слова ChristmasChristmas — Рождество Перевод слова Merry Christmas! — счастливого рождества! Christmas tree — рождественская елка on Christmas Day — в день Рождества Christmas is drawing near. Рождество приближается. We’ll see you at Christmas. Увидимся на Рождество. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Мы желаем вам Счастливого Рождества....
27. Значение идиомы hammer at[hammer at] or [hammer away at] {v.} 1. To work steadily at; keepat. That lesson is not easy, but hammer away at it and you will getit right. 2. To talk about again and again; emphasize. The speakerhammered at his opponent’s ideas....
28. Значение идиомы under the hammer[under the hammer] {adv. phr.} Up for sale at auction. TheBrights auctioned off the entire contents of their home. Mrs. Brightcried when her pewter collection went under the hammer. Thepicture I wanted to bid on came under the hammer soon after Iarrived....
29. The Eighteen BottlesI had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else… I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова FebruaryFebruary — февраль Перевод слова In February — в феврале by February — к февралю on the fifteenth of February — пятнадцатого февраля The parliament was prorogued to the tenth of February. Перерыв в работе парламента должен был продлиться до десятого февраля. Australia’s unemployment rate rose to 6.5% in February. В феврале уровень безработицы в ... Читать далее...
31. Days after ChristmasThe first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. The second day after Christmas I ... Читать далее...
32. A chinese detectiveA man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later he received this letter. Most Honorable Sir, You leave house, He come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова bottleBottle — бутылка Перевод слова To drink a whole bottle — выпить целую бутылку to bottle a beverage — разливать напиток по бутылкам to fill a bottle — наполнить бутылку Has the baby finished her Bottle yet? Малыш уже выпил свою бутылочку? Between us, we drank three Bottles of wine. Между нами, мы выпили три ... Читать далее...
34. Short Christmas jokesWhat did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve! What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter «D» ! What does Father Christmas suffer from if he ... Читать далее...
35. Fox urine spray thwarts tree theftsWhat can run a feral, East Campus cat off a liver truck and save a few trees in the process? Fox urine sprayed on pine and spruce trees might not make much sense to some people who know the beauty of East Campus’ Arboretum. But to the landscaping staff at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, it’s ... Читать далее...
36. Christmas flavorThree men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова meatMeat — мясо, пища Перевод слова Broken meat — остатки пищи meat casserole — мясная запеканка to raise cattle for meat — выращивать скот на мясо The Meat is a bit off. Мясо не совсем свежее. The Meat cuts easily. Это мясо легко режется. The meat swims in Gravy. Мясо залито подливкой....
38. Bought a lousy treeSigns you’ve got a bad christmas tree 8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide 7. Salesman’s opening line: «You’re not a cop, are you?» 6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers 5. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride. ... Читать далее...
39. Holiday DecoratingNow that the holidays are here, it’s time To decorate the house. Every year, we always Go all out. We buy a Christmas tree and the kids decorate it with Ornaments that we’ve bought and made over the years, and with silver and gold Tinsel. We also hang a Wreath on our front door and ... Читать далее...
40. Detective reportA man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. ... Читать далее...