Texts

Nancy: Hey, where have you been? Geraldo: I’ve been in the other courtroom watching the Sentencing of that Murderer. Nancy: Which murderer? Geraldo: The one who failed To get the charges reduced through a Plea agreement. During the Trial, her attorneys tried to show that there were Mitigating circumstances, but the Judge didn’t Buy it. … Читать далее

Luis: Wow, what happened here? I was only away on vacation for two weeks. Thelma: While you were gone, we Redesigned this store with an Anti-theft system. Luis: Is that why there are Surveillance cameras and Security guards everywhere? Thelma: That’s right. We’re losing too much money to Shoplifters and I’m finally doing something about … Читать далее

Venus: Kids, cover your eyes! Don’t look at that. I didn’t know there would be Nudity here. Why did you bring us here? Milo: I brought you here to see this celebration of the beauty of the Human form. Venus: This is Obscene! Look at the Bare breasts on that one and the one over … Читать далее

Well, I love going out to restaurants to eat. One of the best experiences I’ve had recently was at a place here in Los Angeles called Il Fornaio. It’s an Italian restaurant in a very nice part of Beverly Hills. I don’t go there very often-I can’t really afford it, but every once in a … Читать далее

Connie: I just got a call from Ron’s Agent. He’s In hot water again. Walt: Not again! What did he Get up to now? Connie: He got into another fight outside of a bar, and he’s in Police custody right now Cooling his heels. I don’t know what he was thinking. Walt: It’s the Off-season, … Читать далее

Flora: Can you help me? I’m working on this email to Emil and I’m having trouble Coming up with the right words in French. Andy: My French isn’t much better than yours, but I’ll Give it a shot. Flora: Okay, read this sentence for me. What I want to know is if that is a … Читать далее

Arturo: What are you listening to? Ling: Some new music. You want to hear it? Arturo: All right. That’s pretty Mellow, kinda Bluesy, isn’t it? It’s got an interesting Indie feel. Ling: Do you like it? Arturo: It’s all right. I like more Funky, dance music myself, but this is okay. It’s not too Depressing. … Читать далее

Silvia: What are you watching? Hermann: I’m watching a show about the health problems in Developing countries. Silvia: Don’t we have enough Healthcare problems here, in this country? Hermann: We do, but there are countries that have a lot more Acute problems than we do. Silvia: Oh, those kids are so cute. Hermann: Yeah, but … Читать далее

Salesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video … Читать далее

Dear Sam, I am writing to follow up on our phone conversation Re: the upcoming meeting. We’ve made good Headway in our planning, having Settled many of the arrangements, e. g., the date, time, and Venue. However, we still need to decide on the Agenda, i. e., who will speak, in what order, and for … Читать далее

Kristin: Let’s go shopping! Ed: Wait a second. What are all these? Kristin: They’re Bills, but they don’t have to be paid yet. Don’t worry. Let’s go! There’s a new pair of shoes with my name on it. Ed: Hold on a minute. This is a notice saying that you’re Behind on your House payments … Читать далее

Hanna: It’s finally Snowing outside! Soon we’ll be able to get out the Sled. Ahmed: Sledding is for kids. I’m going Downhill skiing as soon as there’s enough Powder. I can’t wait to feel the wind in my hair as I Careen down the side of a mountain. Hanna: You’re more likely to be on … Читать далее

Every afternoon before I leave work, I listen to the Traffic report to see if I should take my usual route home or make a Detour. So today, like every day, I turned on my radio. “It’s a tough Commute today if you’re traveling on I-35 north. There’s a major Slowdown due to an Overturned … Читать далее

J. F. K., a gifted golfer, didn’t want to be photographed on the links. He was afraid of inheriting Eisenhower’s image, as a man putting his way through is presidency. An aficionado of Ian Fleming’s spy novels, John F. Kennedy relished keeping secrets almost as much as he enjoyed hearing them. One of Kennedy’s most … Читать далее

Patrick: Hey, congratulations! I just heard that You’re expecting. How far along are you? Cindy: Thanks. I’m Four and a half months pregnant. It feels like it! I feel huge. Patrick: You don’t look it. I bet Carlos is excited. Do you know yet if it’s a boy or a girl? Cindy: No, we don‚Aot. … Читать далее

Laura: I think that’s all we need to talk about regarding last month’s report. Let’s Turn to this month’s report, Shall we? I didn’t get a copy of it. Could someone Hand me one? Gaius: By the way, I have just one last comment before we Shift our focus to this month’s report. It seems … Читать далее

At work one afternoon, my friend Michael asked me if I wanted to help him start a Band. I was really surprised because I didn’t even know Michael was a Musician. As it turns out, not only was Michael a good Guitarist, he was also a good Songwriter. He wanted to get together a band … Читать далее

Jayna: I have an idea for creating Buzz about our new product. Maksym: What is it? Jayna: I think we should use Viral marketing. We can Spread information about the product quickly and among the most likely customers. Maksym: I really don’t understand it. How would we do viral marketing? Jayna: Well, the key is … Читать далее

In ‘American Desperado,’ drug trafficker Jon Roberts recounts Jimi Hendrix’s mob kidnapping and water skiing mishap. Jon Roberts, the convicted cocaine trafficker who masterminded the Medellin Cartel’s rise in the 1980s and the importation of as much as 15 billion dollars worth of cocaine for them, told a few stories that strained credulity when we … Читать далее

Angela: Ugh! I hate talking to Rebecca. Every time I ask her a question, she Ignores me or Sneers at me. Ronny: Are you sure it’s not your Imagination? She’s Perfectly nice to me. Angela: It’s not my imagination. When I try to tell her something, she Cuts me off. When I try to explain … Читать далее

Adam: Sit still and stop Bouncing your leg like that! Ellen: Sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing it. I’m just a little jittery. Adam: Well, try to Chill out. We’re supposed to be studying and your Restlessness is Distracting. Ellen: I can’t help it. I’m like this because I had a lot of coffee. … Читать далее

Nikolai Ivanovich Vavilov (November 25 1887 — January 26, 1943) was a prominent Russian and Soviet botanist and geneticist best known for having identified the centres of origin of cultivated plants. He devoted his life to the study and improvement of wheat, corn, and other cereal crops that sustain the global population. Vavilov was born … Читать далее

Celeste: Did the mail come? Anwar: Yes, you got some Letters and a Package. Celeste: Oh, I hope that one of those Envelopes has the photos Naomi promised us. Did you notice the Postmark? Anwar: No, but they’re sitting in the hall. Celeste: Those photos are Overdue and should have been Delivered days ago. Naomi … Читать далее

Roland: If we want to save enough money to buy a house, we need to get serious about our Finances and do some Financial planning. I think the first step is to create a Household budget. Ginger: Okay by me. You know that I’m All about the Bottom line. Roland: Yeah, right. I think we … Читать далее

Daniella: Could you tell where I can find a drugstore? Hotel clerk: Sure. There’s one Up the street near the Corner of Selma and Main. If you get to Abreu Avenue, you’ve Gone too far. It’s Set back from the street so it’s a little hard to find. Daniella: Oh, that’s okay. I’ll keep an … Читать далее

Egyptian Pyramids captured by DubaiSat-1 of EIAST, Dubai. Sarah Parcak’s innovative work in space archaeology has earned her the nickname «the Indiana Jones of the 21st century.» When she appeared-wearing Indian Jones’ iconic hat-on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in January, the host referred to her as a «space archaeologist wizard genius.» In November … Читать далее

Rene: Why are you sitting here just Staring into space? Francis: I’m Pondering life. Rene: That sounds Profound. Francis: I’m examining my life from a Metaphysical standpoint. I’m not sure I really Exist. Maybe my entire life is an Illusion and there’s no such thing as Reality. Rene: Okay. Are you sure you’re feeling all … Читать далее

Jean: Look out! Gordon: Don’t worry. That’s just a Light rail train. The new light rail system shares the road with Street traffic. Jean: Phew! For a second there I thought we were going To collide with it. Gordon: Didn’t you see the Operator seated at the front of the train? She Watches out for … Читать далее

Justin: Hello. Rachel: Hi, Justin. It’s Rachel from McQ Corp. Justin: Oh hi, Rachel. Did you get our Bid for the job? Rachel: Yes, we did. We like your proposal, but we still need To come to terms on the price. Justin: We’ve already given you our Rock-bottom price because we want to get this … Читать далее

Ethan: You missed a spot. Marie: Hold on. When we made our bet for the loser to wash the winner’s car, it didn’t include the other person being there and being a Pain in the neck. Ethan: I’m just here to make sure everything gets washed properly, from the Hood to the Taillights. Marie: Don’t … Читать далее

Shawn: What’s the matter? You look like you’re about To blow your lid. Rick: Yeah, Let’s just say I’m not happy. Shawn: That’s Putting it lightly. What’s up? Rick: My friend Steve was supposed To come by Here after work to Give me a ride home. I Lent him my car so he could take … Читать далее

I have an appointment with my Hairdresser today. It has been too long since I had my hair cut. My Bangs were too long, I had Split ends And my Roots were showing. I was a mess! I arrived for my appointment and I told the Receptionist that I was there for an appointment with … Читать далее

Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small … Читать далее

Lorenzo: I wouldn’t Post all of those photos on Social media sites. Pamela: Why not? Only my friends and family are going to see them. Lorenzo: I wouldn’t be so sure. And I wouldn’t post all of that Personal data either or Divulge personal information. You don’t know who may Gain access to your page. … Читать далее

I was going to see a friend of mine in Oklahoma City and decided to use my Frequent flyer miles. I Booked a flight, but the only one they had had a long Layover in Denver. I had three hours To kill And I decided to get something to eat at the food court. Unfortunately, … Читать далее

Claudia: We’re done, right? Let’s get in this Cashier line. Raul: No need. This store has Self-checkout machines. Claudia: I don’t know. I think it would be easier going through a cashier line. Raul: Using the self-checkout will be much quicker. Let me show you. All you have to do is Scan the Barcodes on … Читать далее

Adrina: So this is your new home office. It’s nice. Victor: It’s Functional, and I like it. When my company decided to lower its Overhead by Decentralizing, it gave employees the option to work from home. When I heard that, I didn’t Think twice about making the change. Adrina: I’m not surprised. Lots of people … Читать далее

Before its subversion in the Jim Crow era, the fruit symbolized black self-sufficiency. It seems as if every few weeks there’s another watermelon controversy. The Boston Herald got in trouble for publishing a cartoon of the White House fence-jumper, having made his way into Obama’s bathroom, recommending watermelon-flavored toothpaste to the president. A high-school football … Читать далее

Store owner: Hello. Karin: Hello, is this Joe’s Shoe Repair? Store owner: Yes, how can I help you? Karin: I’m calling to find out your Business hours. Store owner: We’re open 24/7. Karin: Really? You’re open 24 hours a day, Seven days a week? Store owner: Yes, we are, More often than not. Of course … Читать далее

Kurt: Turn that radio down! Gloria: No way! I’m listening to a Simulcast of a performance and it’s Live. Kurt: Is it on Campus radio? Gloria: No, it’s on the Public radio Station. I finally got good Reception after putting this long Antenna outside my window and I’m not turning it off now. Kurt: You … Читать далее

Tommy: It’s Just our luck that there’s a major Power failure while we’re shopping in this outdoor Bazaar. Louisa: How are we going to find our way back to the hotel? Tommy: Follow me and stay close. I’ll Lead the way. Louisa: This road is so Rough. I keep Tripping over the stones. Ah! Tommy: … Читать далее

Michelle: Did you hurt yourself? Gabriel: No, why? Michelle: You have a Band-Aid on your arm. Gabriel: Oh, that. I Donated blood today. Michelle: You did? That’s great. I’d like to donate blood, but every time I get close to a Needle, I feel Light-headed. I’m afraid if I Go through with it, and they … Читать далее

When Joel Bird was up for Governor of Missouri, Sam Henly was editing the Berrywood _Bugle_; and no sooner was the nomination made by the State Convention than he came out hot against the party. He was an able writer, was Sam, and the lies he invented about our candidate were shocking! That, however, we … Читать далее

«Oh, God no,» he told the Telegraph when asked about the possibility. «I mean, to me, that’s outrageous. Especially since it’s a good movie. It’s like saying’Let’s remake Citizen Kane. Who are we going to get to play Kane?’ What folly, what insanity is that? Why would anyone do that?» Co-writer and co-rights holder Bob … Читать далее

I was waiting patiently for the furniture store To deliver my new bed. I was given a Window of 1:00 to 4:00. At 4:50, the Delivery truck pulled up in front of my house. … Zuly: Hello. Danny: Hi! We’re from Reliable Furniture. We’re here to deliver your new bed. Zuly: I thought you’d never … Читать далее

There was a good deal of pleasant gossip about old Captain ‘Hurricane’ Jones, of the Pacific Ocean-peace to his ashes! Two or three of us present had known him; I, particularly well, for I had made four sea — voyages with him. He was a very remarkable man. He was born on a ship; he … Читать далее

I’m not a very good cook but I decided to surprise my wife by making a Three-course meal. I went to the Supermarket to get the dessert, and I Stopped by the Farmer’s market to get some fresh vegetables, my Ingredients for the salad. The meal would start with a salad. I washed the vegetables … Читать далее

Sean: Just look at the quality of that. You won’t find a finer one anywhere. Patrice: It’s nice, but it’s more than I want To spend. Sean: Okay, just for you, I’ll Knock off 10%. What do you say? Patrice: I think it’s still too Pricey. I think I’ll Pass. Sean: Wait! Don’t be so … Читать далее

I’m one of those people who doesn’t have much of a Fashion sense. I mean, I know that you shouldn’t wear a pink shirt with green pants, but beyond that I’m pretty much a Basket case when it comes to picking my Wardrobe. I have plenty of Short-sleeve and Long-sleeve dress shirts, some have a … Читать далее

Mo: I have some bad news: Your favorite TV show has been Cancelled. Amy: I’m not surprised. Ratings plummeted last Season, so The writing was on the wall. Mo: Also On the chopping block is your favorite reality show: American Idiots. Amy: Oh no, not American Idiots, too! I thought it was Gaining ground in … Читать далее