Latex factory
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a “Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop” noise. “Wait a minute!” says the man taking the tour. “I understand what the ‘hiss, hiss,’ is, but what’s that ‘pop’ every so often?”
“Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,” says the guide. “It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.”
“Well, that can’t be good for the condoms!”
“Yeah, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business!”
Related topics:
- Buy machine factory An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building. “Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.” “Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, […]...
- Перевод слова factory Factory – завод, фабрика Перевод слова Factory test – заводское испытание factory waste – промышленные отходы factory world – производственная обстановка The Factory has been retooled. Фабрика была переоборудована. It was he who got the Factory working. Именно благодаря ему завод начал работать. The whole Factory stank of decaying fish. По всему заводу распространился запах […]...
- A Complaint Letter to a Tour Company To Whom It May Concern: I am writing Regarding a tour that my wife and I took with your company on February 26, 2006. The Brochure Stated that we Would see some of the most interesting Sights of the city. Since we had visited the city before, we looked forward to seeing some new Attractions. […]...
- Touring Celebrity Homes and Filming Locations Tour guide: Welcome to Hollywood Tours, everybody. I’m your Tour guide for today, and I’ll be showing you some of the most Memorable locations in Hollywood history. Every seat in this Double-decker bus is a good one, and you’ll be able to see every Landmark we drive by. Uh, do you have a question? Elvira: […]...
- A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, […]...
- Taking a Campus Tour Ji Won: Come on, Dad, the Campus tour starts over there. The Guide is ready to begin the Walking tour. Guide: Welcome, Prospective students and your parents. My name is Jaime and I’ll be conducting your tour today. This tour will last about an hour, and we’ll be making frequent Stops so I can Point […]...
- Unsafe Factory Conditions Kathy Lee: You won’t find any problems in your Inspection of our Factory. Rashed: I’m glad to hear that. Where do these stairs lead? Kathy Lee: It’s just a level for storage. You don’t need to see that. Rashed: I need to inspect every part of this factory. Please step aside. Kathy Lee: If you […]...
- Перевод слова tour Tour – тур, поездка, экскурсия Перевод слова Tour guide – экскурсовод inspection tour – инспекционная поездка tour operator – тур-оператор to operate a tour – проводить экскурсию We’ll Tour the museum tomorrow. Завтра мы пойдем на экскурсию в музей. And then he Toured home. А затем он отправился домой. The idea was to Tour the […]...
- Working in a Factory Tony: The Plant manager says that you’re the new kid. Amber: Yes, it’s my first day. Tony: All right, you’ll be a Line worker like the rest of us. Here’s your Workstation. What you have to remember is that Output and Productivity are the most important things around here. Amber: I understand, but… Tony: Watch […]...
- In the Office and in the Factory – В офисе и на фабрике Things in the office File, calendar, notice board, computer, monitor, keyboard, filing cabinet, desk, diary, calculator, drawers, wastepaper basket, briefcase. Office work Brenda works for a company, which produces furniture. She works in an office, which is just opposite the factory where the furniture is made. This is how she spends her day: She works […]...
- Missing the Tour Group Bus Kelly: Where is everybody? Man: Excuse me? Were you talking to me? Kelly: Oh, no. I was just Talking to myself. Our Tour group was supposed To rendezvous here at five o’clock for our Return trip to the hotel. But there’s No trace of the bus and I don’t see any other people from my […]...
- Перевод слова bottle Bottle – бутылка Перевод слова To drink a whole bottle – выпить целую бутылку to bottle a beverage – разливать напиток по бутылкам to fill a bottle – наполнить бутылку Has the baby finished her Bottle yet? Малыш уже выпил свою бутылочку? Between us, we drank three Bottles of wine. Между нами, мы выпили три […]...
- Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore […]...
- New son-in-law A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every […]...
- Made in Canada President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the American President cried, “My people’s favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!” “Bill, da Canadian pipple would be ‘appy to do anyt’ing wit’in der power to ‘elp you,” replied the Prime Minister. “I do need your help,” […]...
- The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. “Doctor,” she explained, “the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.” The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on […]...
- The Young Mans Big Mouth The Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms […]...
- Перевод слова minute Minute – минута; мелкий Перевод слова Minute hand – минутная стрелка in a minute – скоро, прямо сейчас to measure very minute changes of temperature – измерять малейшие изменения температуры minute particles of dust – мельчайшие частицы пыли I’ll be back in a Minute. Я вернусь через минуту. Hey, wait a Minute! Эй, подождите минутку! […]...
- Noisy stuff Radar: “Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.” Pilot: “Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?” Radar: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?”...
- Olympic condoms A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tells his wife about the purchase he’s just made. “Olympic condoms?” she blurts, “What makes them so special?” “There are three colors,” he explains, “gold, silver and bronze.” “So what color […]...
- Speaking to a Baby or Young Child My sister had to go out of town for a couple of days and I offered To look after her 18-month-old Twins. It wasn’t long before I realized that I was Over my head! … Colleen: Okay, you two, it’s time to go Beddy-bye. Baby: No! Colleen: Yes, let’s get your Jammies on. You can […]...
- A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says “OK,” and goes to the pharmacy to buy […]...
- Перевод слова wait Wait – ждать, дожидаться, откладывать Перевод слова To wait orders – ждать распоряжений wait until he comes – дождитесь его прихода that work will have to wait – эту работу придется отложить Hey, Wait a minute! Эй, подождите минутку! Wait for the rain to pass. Подожди, пока пройдет дождь. I’ll Wait in the car. Я […]...
- Joining a Tour Darrel: What are you looking at? Alice: Tours for our vacation. I was thinking that it’d be hard for us to get around on our own, so I think joining a tour is a good idea. Darrel: Really? I thought we’d Make our way around Leisurely to see the Sites. I don’t like the fast […]...
- Английские слова на тему “Детская. The Baby’s room” Baby carriage – коляска Baby food – детское питание Baby formula – детское питание Baby lotion – детский лосьон Baby wipes – cалфетки Bib – слюнявчик Bottle – бутылочка Car seat – автомобильное кресло Changing pad – пеленка Changing table/dressing table – пеленальный столик Chest of drawers – комод Cloth diapers – тканевые подгузники Cotton […]...
- Перевод слова noise Noise – шум, гам, галдеж Перевод слова Noise density – интенсивность шума noise control – борьба с шумом constant, persistent noise – постоянный, вечный, непрекращающийся шум deafening noise – оглушительный шум What Noise was that? Что это был за шум? Hold your Noise! Перестаньте шуметь! I heard a weird Noise. Я услышал странный шум....
- A group of Americans was touring Ireland A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ […]...
- Перевод слова guide Guide – гид, экскурсовод; справочник; направлять, руководить Перевод слова Museum guide – музейный гид, экскурсовод to guide the state – руководить государством to guide the steps of smb. – направлять чьи-л. шаги postal guide – почтовый справочник The feelings are dangerous Guides. Чувства – опасные советчики. The stars will Guide us back. На обратном пути […]...
- Gimme some aspirin! Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms. “I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms.” “Yeah, I went to a dozen drug […]...
- Значение идиомы in the hole [in the hole] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1a. Having a scorelower than zero in a game, especially a card game; to a score belowzero. John went three points in the hole on the first hand of thecard game. 1b. Behind an opponent; in difficulty in a sport or game. We had their pitcher in […]...
- Touring South America A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist […]...
- How do you catch a polar bear? Answer: First, you cut a large, round hole in the ice. Next, you place enough peas around the hole to completely surround the hole. Then, when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole. $ $Sent by Ediie...
- A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each […]...
- Getting in an accident A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a […]...
- A Mother’s Dictionary Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family planning: The art of spacing […]...
- A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre’d that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. “Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?”, he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The man replies, “Give me a Stoli with […]...
- A great way to spend eternity A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. “How awful!” exclaimed the wife. “Si, but what a great way to […]...
- Bidding on Online Auctions Jermaine: Wait! You shouldn’t Bid on that Auction right now. Wait until the Last minute. Bethany: This auction has a Buy-it-now price of $25 and free Shipping. Jermaine: Don’t pay the buy-it-now price. The Minimum bid on this item is $10 and the Current bid is only $12.50. There’s no Reserve, so if you wait […]...
- Bidding on Online Auctions Jermaine: Wait! You shouldn’t Bid on that Auction right now. Wait until the Last minute. Bethany: This auction has a Buy-it-now price of $25 and free Shipping. Jermaine: Don’t pay the buy-it-now price. The Minimum bid on this item is $10 and the Current bid is only $12.50. There’s no Reserve, so if you wait […]...
- Перевод слова hole Hole – дыра, отверстие, яма Перевод слова A hole in a roof – дыра в крыше to wear into holes – износить до дыр a hole in the fence – лазейка в ограде I have a Hole in my sock. У меня дырявый носок. The theory is full of Holes. Теория полна недостатков. The dog […]...