A great way to spend eternity

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1. Taking a Campus TourJi Won: Come on, Dad, the Campus tour starts over there. The Guide is ready to begin the Walking tour. Guide: Welcome, Prospective students and your parents. My name is Jaime and I’ll be conducting your tour today. This tour will last about an hour, and we’ll be making frequent Stops so I can Point ... Читать далее...
2. A Complaint Letter to a Tour CompanyTo Whom It May Concern: I am writing Regarding a tour that my wife and I took with your company on February 26, 2006. The Brochure Stated that we Would see some of the most interesting Sights of the city. Since we had visited the city before, we looked forward to seeing some new Attractions. ... Читать далее...
3. Значение идиомы point out[point out] {v.} 1. To show by pointing with the finger; point to;make clear the location of. The guide pointed out the principalsights of the city. 2. To bring to notice; call to attention;explain. The policeman pointed out that the law forbids public saleof firecrackers. The school secretary pointed out that the closingdate for making ... Читать далее...
4. Touring Celebrity Homes and Filming LocationsTour guide: Welcome to Hollywood Tours, everybody. I’m your Tour guide for today, and I’ll be showing you some of the most Memorable locations in Hollywood history. Every seat in this Double-decker bus is a good one, and you’ll be able to see every Landmark we drive by. Uh, do you have a question? Elvira: ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова tourTour — тур, поездка, экскурсия Перевод слова Tour guide — экскурсовод inspection tour — инспекционная поездка tour operator — тур-оператор to operate a tour — проводить экскурсию We’ll Tour the museum tomorrow. Завтра мы пойдем на экскурсию в музей. And then he Toured home. А затем он отправился домой. The idea was to Tour the ... Читать далее...
6. After their love-making session the young bride asks her husbandAfter their love-making session the young bride asks her husband «Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?» «Yes, she’s dead to!»»Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?» «Yes, she’s dead to!»...
7. Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wifeRobinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, «You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.» «Really,» said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. «What is it?» «Back to back.» «But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.» «Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple ... Читать далее...
8. Marital SexWhile making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn’t enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland. Then quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: «What happened, did I hurt you?» «Why no, not at all,» said his surprised wife. «Whatever made you ... Читать далее...
9. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
10. Latex factoryA guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud «hiss-pop» noise. «The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,» explains the guide. «The popping sound is the needle poking ... Читать далее...
11. A yard saleA man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of ... Читать далее...
12. Hotel Tour DeskSam: Hi, is this where I can get information on Tours? Nan: Yes, I can help you with that. What type of tour are you thinking about? There are some great City tours that are Half-day or Full-day. Sam: You know, we’ve Explored the city a lot since we’ve been here. I was actually thinking ... Читать далее...
13. How Did I Spend My Summer HolidaysВ топике Как я провел мои летние каникулы, я рассказываю об отдыхе всей семьей в городе Сочи. Хотя во время зимних каникул можно тоже хорошо провести время на природе, но летние каникулы нравятся мне больше. В этом году мы отправились на Черное море: сначала в Одессу, к родственникам, а потом на пароходе, в Сочи. За ... Читать далее...
14. Joining a TourDarrel: What are you looking at? Alice: Tours for our vacation. I was thinking that it’d be hard for us to get around on our own, so I think joining a tour is a good idea. Darrel: Really? I thought we’d Make our way around Leisurely to see the Sites. I don’t like the fast ... Читать далее...
15. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger ladyAn older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the ... Читать далее...
16. Missing the Tour Group BusKelly: Where is everybody? Man: Excuse me? Were you talking to me? Kelly: Oh, no. I was just Talking to myself. Our Tour group was supposed To rendezvous here at five o’clock for our Return trip to the hotel. But there’s No trace of the bus and I don’t see any other people from my ... Читать далее...
17. Kiss meyeah!«Kiss me,» said the young lady urgently. «Please kiss me.» But the young man turned his head away, saying, «Of course not. How can I? I’m your own brother-in-law. Hell, we shouldn’t even be lying here making love.»...
18. A group of Americans was touring IrelandA group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. «Good luck will be followin’ ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова guideGuide — гид, экскурсовод; справочник; направлять, руководить Перевод слова Museum guide — музейный гид, экскурсовод to guide the state — руководить государством to guide the steps of smb. — направлять чьи-л. шаги postal guide — почтовый справочник The feelings are dangerous Guides. Чувства — опасные советчики. The stars will Guide us back. На обратном пути ... Читать далее...
20. The newly divorced womanThe newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools to do the odd jobs needed. She made a trip to the local hardware store and quickly learned that it was truly a «man’s world» there. Thinking that she ... Читать далее...
21. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
22. Poetic justiceA man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a park. The witness: They were fucking your honor The judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way: The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear Until tiny sounds came to my ear There was this ... Читать далее...
23. Touring South AmericaA tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist ... Читать далее...
24. People of Different AgesGloria: I’m surprised at the variety of people on this tour. Andy: Oh, yeah? I hadn’t noticed. Gloria: Well, we’ll be spending the next two weeks with these people so I thought I’d get to know some of them. Andy: That’s nice. Gloria: Did you see that thirty-something couple with a Toddler and an Infant? ... Читать далее...
25. The Geographical Position of Great Britain — Географическое положение Великобритании (2)The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is situated on the British Isles. The British Isles are separated from Europe by the English Channel. The British Isles are washed by the North Sea in the East and the Atlantic Ocean in the West. The territory of Great Britain is divided into four parts: ... Читать далее...
26. Great Britain (5)В топике Великобритания (5) рассказывается о географическом положении страны, климате, населении и о форме правления в современном Соединенном Королевстве. Из 4-х стран, входящих в Соединенное Королевство, Англия признана ведущей, как самая богатая, плодородная и самая населенная часть страны. В топике также приводятся описания Шотландии, Уэльса и Северной Ирландии. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and ... Читать далее...
27. The Life of a Great Mathematician. (Nina Karlovna Bari)Nina Karlovna Bari is a great example of a woman who contributed to mathematics. Nina Bari provided the advancement of the theory of trigonometry. She dedicated her life to solving theory functions. Once Bari solved many questions regarding trigonometric series, she shared her findings with many students and colleagues through teaching, lecturing, and giving seminars. ... Читать далее...
28. A man goes to a psychiatristA man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. «A man and a woman making love in a park,» the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the ... Читать далее...
29. A young married womanA young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, «Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?» She thought about it a minute then said, «Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.»...
30. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
31. Irish Pub JokesMurphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, «Where are we now?» The guide said, «We’re in the great state of Texas.» «It’s a big place,» said Murphy. The ... Читать далее...
32. Топик «Как я собираюсь провести лето» (How I am going to spend my summer)Summer is coming and I’m looking forward to it. It’s my favourite season, of course, because the weather is great and you don’t have to go to school. After a long and difficult school year you get really tired of studies, so I’m going to enjoy my summer holidays and have much fun. I hope ... Читать далее...
33. Two couples decide to spend the weekend away togetherTwo couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, «Wow! This is the very best sex I had in ... Читать далее...
34. Several weeks after a young man had been hiredSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. «What is the meaning of this?» the director asked. «When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.» «Well,» the young man ... Читать далее...
35. The Geographical Position of Great Britain — Географическое положение Великобритании (3)The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland covers an area of some 244 thousand square miles. It is situated on the British Isles. The British Isles are separated from Europe by the Strait of Dover and the English Channel. The British Isles are washed by the North Sea in the east and the ... Читать далее...
36. Weight ControlHere’s the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume. Beating around the bush. . . . . . . . .75 Jumping to conclusions. . . . . . . . 100 Climbing the walls. . . . . . . . . . 150 Swallowing your pride. . ... Читать далее...
37. The moon shown silver on the waters of the lakeThe moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, «Darling am I the first man to make love to you?» Her tone ... Читать далее...
38. VolcanoesWhere are volcanoes located? The earth’s crust is made up of sections or plates. They always move and at places where they get together they collide or slide on top of each other. 90% of all volcanoes are located around the edges of the Pacific Ocean. The Pacific coasts of Asia, North America and South ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы love at first sight, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: love at first sight Перевод: любовь с первого взгляда Пример: It was love at first sight when the young couple met at the photography class. Когда молодая пара встретилась на уроках фотографии, это была любовь с первого взгляда....
40. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...