A great way to spend eternity

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1. Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested... ...
2. Marital Sex While making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn’t enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and... ...
3. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a... ...
4. Значение идиомы point out [point out] {v.} 1. To show by pointing with the finger; point to;make clear the location of. The guide pointed out the principalsights of the city. 2. To bring to... ...
5. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making... ...
6. The young immigrant couple had just left the The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. “It is wonderful,” the husband exclaimed. “We are American citizens at last! Do you... ...
7. Перевод слова spend Spend – тратить, расходовать Перевод слова To spend one’s force – растратить силу to spend with a free hand – швыряться деньгами to spend a honeymoon – проводить медовый месяц... ...
8. Marriage quotes 04 A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. – Guitry Ah Mozart! He was... ...
9. After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband “Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?” “Yes, she’s dead to!””Was making love... ...
10. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas... ...
11. Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours... ...
12. Перевод слова awful Awful – ужасный, отвратительный Перевод слова Awful manners – ужасные манеры awful tragedy – ужасная трагедия awful truth – страшная правда My old boss was Awful! Мой прежний босс был... ...
13. Three couples wanted to join a church Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You... ...
14. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The... ...
15. Poor Rabbi! A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s... ...
16. A Girl Scout troop leader A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. “Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very dangerous beast... ...
17. Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife... ...
18. A yard sale A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn.... ...
19. Touring South America A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the... ...
20. A man escapes from prison A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.... ...
21. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to... ...
22. A group of Americans was touring Ireland A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s... ...
23. Kiss meyeah! “Kiss me,” said the young lady urgently. “Please kiss me.” But the young man turned his head away, saying, “Of course not. How can I? I’m your own brother-in-law. Hell,... ...
24. How Did I Spend Last Summer В топике Как я провел прошлое лето, я рассказываю о своем летнем отдыхе. За это время я успел навестить свою бабушку, насладиться морем, провести хорошее время с друзьями, побродить в... ...
25. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed,... ...
26. What a Woman Really Needs A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the... ...
27. Isaac Newton – the Great English Scientist Isaac Newton was a great English scientist. He was born in 1642 in a little village in Lincolnshire: Newton’s father was a farmer and died before his son’s birth. When... ...
28. Amusing Jokes about the Irish Mrs. Ryan, a mean looking woman, claimed her husband was not thoughtful. In this she was wrong; her husband thought about her too much. One morning on his way to... ...
29. Get money to heaven A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.” After much thought and consideration,... ...
30. Pick Heaven or Hell One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was... ...
31. Перевод слова guide Guide – гид, экскурсовод; справочник; направлять, руководить Перевод слова Museum guide – музейный гид, экскурсовод to guide the state – руководить государством to guide the steps of smb. – направлять... ...
32. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and... ...
33. The newly divorced woman The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools to do the odd... ...
34. Clean Humor about the Irish It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the... ...
35. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If... ...
36. Good news and bad news The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife’s bedroom. “Kid’s……there’s good news and bad news.” “The bad news is... ...
37. The young wife was in tears when she opened the door The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. “I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.” “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is... ...
38. Poetic justice A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a park. The witness: They were fucking your honor The judge: Could the witness put it... ...
39. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and,... ...
40. Топик “Как я собираюсь провести лето” (How I am going to spend my summer) Summer is coming and I’m looking forward to it. It’s my favourite season, of course, because the weather is great and you don’t have to go to school. After a... ...