Many moons

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1. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
2. Reading time A Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy asks “what are you doing?” Indian says” Me tellum time.” Cowboy shakes his head, rides on, encounters another exactly the same. Says “You telling time?” yup” “how can you tell time like that?” Indian says “workum like […]...
3. Learn it by listening Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?” “Yeah,” says the other cowboy. “Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.” Just […]...
4. Where are you from The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going […]...
5. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That […]...
6. Перевод слова noise Noise – шум, гам, галдеж Перевод слова Noise density – интенсивность шума noise control – борьба с шумом constant, persistent noise – постоянный, вечный, непрекращающийся шум deafening noise – оглушительный шум What Noise was that? Что это был за шум? Hold your Noise! Перестаньте шуметь! I heard a weird Noise. Я услышал странный шум....
7. The golf course A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you […]...
8. Indians and Polish There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the […]...
9. These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round and returned home […]...
10. Значение идиомы ace in the hole [ace in the hole] {n. phr.} 1. An ace given to a player face down so that other players in a card game cannot see it. When the cowboy bet all his money in the poker game he did not know that the gambler had an ace in the hole and would win it from […]...
11. Back in the turn of the century in a mining town Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realised that she was not in the general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to […]...
12. A cowboy walked into a barber shop A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, […]...
13. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
14. Noisy stuff Radar: “Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.” Pilot: “Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?” Radar: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?”...
15. A golfer hit his drive on the first hole A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back […]...
16. A young Indian boy came back to the reservation A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him about his first year at school, he said: I’m having trouble with people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come to give your children such odd […]...
17. Because his son wasn’t the brightest kid in the world Because his son wasn’t the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. “Now you lissen good, Dan’l, ‘cuz here’s whatcha gotta do. One: Take out your penie-pipe. Two: Pull back the foreskin. Three: Pee. Four: Push back your foreskin. Five: […]...
18. Outhouse joke A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to […]...
19. Перевод слова Indian Indian – индеец, индиец, индийский Перевод слова Curtains of Indian chintz – занавески из индийского чинца east indian – ост-индский indian hemp – индийская конопля Red Indian – краснокожий (индеец) Do you fancy going out for an Indian? Хочешь пойти в индийский ресторан? Indian music had been blaring out all evening. Индийская музыка орала весь […]...
20. A business man got on an elevator in a building A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F” (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T” (letters only).” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, […]...
21. Is that your horse The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?” The cowboy looked at the […]...
22. A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hoped to attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked: “Sir, can you please tell me where your library is at?” The man looked down his nose and replied: “Son, I’m head of the English […]...
23. Значение идиомы in the hole [in the hole] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1a. Having a scorelower than zero in a game, especially a card game; to a score belowzero. John went three points in the hole on the first hand of thecard game. 1b. Behind an opponent; in difficulty in a sport or game. We had their pitcher in […]...
24. Latex factory A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking […]...
25. How do you catch a polar bear? Answer: First, you cut a large, round hole in the ice. Next, you place enough peas around the hole to completely surround the hole. Then, when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole. $ $Sent by Ediie...
26. One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. “Whatcha doin?” he asked. Mongo replies, “My goldfish died and I’m burying him.” “That’s an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain’t it?” asked the neighbor. Mongo shot back, “That’s because he’s inside your fuckin’ cat!’...
27. The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, […]...
28. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
29. One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, “I did that by accident.” She replied, “I know that, daddy.” He replied, “How’d you know?” The girl said, “Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!”...
30. Значение идиомы airquake [airquake] {n.} An explosive noise of undetermined origin usually heard in coastal communities and appearing to come from some higher point in elevation. What was that awful noise just now? – I guess it must have been an airquake....
31. Перевод слова hole Hole – дыра, отверстие, яма Перевод слова A hole in a roof – дыра в крыше to wear into holes – износить до дыр a hole in the fence – лазейка в ограде I have a Hole in my sock. У меня дырявый носок. The theory is full of Holes. Теория полна недостатков. The dog […]...
32. An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreign exchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rps and after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 with a typical “service” smile and “Have a nice day!” The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day […]...
33. With a puzzled look on his face With a puzzled look on his face an Indian boy asked, “Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?” She told him, “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” Then he asked, “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” She replied, “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made […]...
34. Перевод слова inside Inside – внутри, внутрь, внутренний, секретный Перевод слова To be inside – быть в помещении to go inside – войти в помещение inside information – секретные сведения the inside of the house – внутренние помещения дома Look Inside. Загляни внутрь. The door bolts from Inside. Эта дверь запирается изнутри. I happen to know the Inside. […]...
35. Значение идиомы inside out [inside out] {adv.} 1. So that the inside is turned outside. Mother turns the stockings inside out when she washes them. 2. or[inside and out] also [in and out] In every part; throughout;completely. David knows the parts of his bicycle inside out. Wesearched the house inside and out for the kitten. Compare: BACKWARDSAND FORWARDS, INS […]...
36. A state-of-the-art watch A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just […]...
37. Значение идиомы cowboy [cowboy] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} A person who drives his car carelessly and at too great a speed in order to show off his courage. Joe’s going to be arrested some day – he is a cowboy on the highway....
38. Love handles One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. “Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me, […]...
39. Who keeps saying those things A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively “You’ve got great hair!” The man looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer. A minute later, he heard […]...
40. Значение идиомы inside of [inside of] {prep.} In; within; on or in an inside part of; notbeyond; before the end of. There is a broom inside of the closet. There is a label on the inside of the box. Hand your papers into me inside of three days. Contrast: OUTSIDE OF....