A promise to keep
“But this isn’t an engagement ring.” the young lady protested. “Why it’s just a tiny unset diamond.” “Yeah! I know.” said the fellow, “And, it’ll be mounted in a cluster...
My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of
My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm. The Dr said “which position do you use?” “Doggy style,” said dumb shit. “why don’t...
The Barber Shop
This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.”...
A great way to spend eternity
A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by...
Passing an exam
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,...
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to...
A Short History of Medicine
I have an earache… 2000 B. C. – Here, eat this root. 1000 A. D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. – That prayer...
Biologist experiment
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says...
A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on
A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He...
Remember a child
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her...
Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she
Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” “They’re mating, Lucy” he replied. “What do you call the...
There was a costume party at a mental hospital
There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was “war”. The first person comes up onto the stage and says, “I’m an atomic bomb.”...
It is all in the money
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat,...
A Snail buys a fast New Car
A snail buys a fast new car. There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast...
Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic
Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age,...
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George...
A Purple Heart
A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old spinsters at the...
Banjo
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl...
Some time after their bitter divorce
Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, “So… out looking for a little, huh?” She...
I’ve never understood why women love cats
I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and...