How about a bridal?

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1. Some horse-play The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal. “No,” he said, “I don’t believe I’ll need it. I’ll just grab onto her ears and hold on […]...
2. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
3. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
4. What Not to Name Your Dog Everybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog “Sex”. When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said “I’d like one too.” But then I said “This is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked […]...
5. Checking into a Hotel I Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel […]...
6. A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.” […]...
7. Значение идиомы room clerk [room clerk] or [desk clerk] {n.} A person who is responsible forassigning rooms and providing service to guests in hotels, motels, inns, etc. At first-class hotels, room clerks are trained to be atthe service of every guest. Sometimes resort hotels in themountains hire college students as room clerks during the summer....
8. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as […]...
9. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В гостинице” (At a Hotel) At a Hotel George: Good morning! Clerk: Good morning! What can I do for you? George: We need a double room and a single room for two nights. Clerk: Just a moment, please. Well, we have a double room with bath and a single room with shower. George: How much are these rooms? Clerk: The […]...
10. Значение идиомы ear [ear] See: ABOUT ONE’S EARS or AROUND ONE’S EARS, BELIEVE ONE’SEARS, DRY BEHIND THE EARS, FLEA IN ONE’S EAR, GIVE AN EAR TO or LENDAN EAR TO, GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER, JUG-EARED, LITTLE PITCHERSHAVE BIG EARS, MUSIC TO ONE’S EARS, PIN ONE’S EARS BACK, PLAY BY EAR, PRICK UP ONE’S EARS, […]...
11. Two mates are having a chat over a beer Two mates are having a chat over a beer. “Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?” one bloke asks his friend. “No way!” his mate replies. “Well,” says the first bloke, “do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?” “Fuck no!” his mate replies. “Well,” says the first bloke, […]...
12. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
13. Ways to Pay I was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I […]...
14. Ways to Pay I was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I […]...
15. A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down his wife’s throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, “What the fuck are you doing?” “Just giving you an aspirin for your headache.” The bloke answered. “But I ain’t got a headache,” she yelled […]...
16. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I would like to change my name.” “What is your current name?” asked the clerk. “Martin Arsehole,” replied the man. The clerk laughed, and said “I […]...
17. There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, “God bless you children, that’s Christianity at work. May the lord bless […]...
18. An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. “That way,” he said, “You get an extra day out of them between drinks.” As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel’s balls. The camel […]...
19. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
20. A Mistake in the Hotel Bill Hotel clerk: Here’s the Bill for your four-night stay. Would you like the Incidentals charged to your credit card? May: Incidentals? I think there’s some mistake. I didn’t order any Pay-per-view movies and I never ordered room service. And, I didn’t have any Spa services, either. Hotel clerk: Are you sure? We show three movies […]...
21. Перевод сленгового выражения bloke, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bloke Сленговое выражение: bloke Перевод: парень, малый Пример: There’s some bloke asking for you. Тебя тут спрашивает какой-то малый....
22. Soft and Hard A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, […]...
23. Hotel Housekeeping I’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the […]...
24. Scheduling a Medical Appointment I needed to make an Appointment with a doctor so I called my Health plan‘s phone number for new Patients. Before I could schedule my appointment, I had to listen to several recorded messages to be Routed to the right medical office. The recording said to Stay on the line for assistance. Clerk: Hello, Western […]...
25. Keeping a high profile in an office Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready. Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder! Try to talk with _at least_ three people between […]...
26. While enjoying a drink with a mate one night While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into […]...
27. Перевод слова clerk Clerk – клерк, администратор Перевод слова Bank clerk – банковский служащий correspondence clerk – корреспондент telegraph clerk – телеграфист He Clerks in a supermarket. Он работает продавцом в супермаркете. The Clerk recorded their names in the register. Клерк записал их имена в реестр. The Clerk was well bounced for his carelessness. За халатность клерку сурово […]...
28. A department store A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several more times: […]...
29. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) Player Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small […]...
30. Buying a Men’s Suit Sales clerk: Good afternoon. What can I help you find? Bo: I’m looking for a Suit for work. Sales clerk: I’m sure we have something for you. Are you looking for a traditional or Contemporary suit? Bo: I’m not sure. I’d like To try on some different ones. Sales clerk: That’s no problem. Let me […]...
31. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) Player Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small […]...
32. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
33. Перевод слова congratulation Congratulation – поздравление Перевод слова A letter of congratulation – поздравительное письмо congratulations! – поздравляю!, поздравляем! self congratulation – восторги по поводу своих поступков I sent her a letter of Congratulations. Я послал ей письмо с поздравлениями. My warmest Congratulations on your promotion! От души поздравляю вас с повышением! I sent them my sincere Congratulations […]...
34. Фразовые глаголы с “HOLD” Hold all the cards – иметь преимущество hold back – скрывать hold down – придерживать hold in – проводить hold in check – сдерживать hold it – стой! подожди!; постой! hold on – держи(те)сь!; подожди(те) hold out – протягивать, вытягивать hold over – откладывать hold that – считать, что hold up – нападать, поднимать...
35. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.” the clerk said. “Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?” “This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.” “And the other?” said the customer. […]...
36. Перевод слова desk Desk – письменный стол, парта; стойка, касса Перевод слова Writing desk – письменный стол to clear one’s desk – навести порядок на своем столе front desk – конторка портье, консьержа He parked behind a Desk. Он устроился за партой. His Desk is always messy. У него на письменном столе всегда беспорядок. No one was manning […]...
37. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Покупка билетов на поезд” (Покупка билетов на поезд) George: Oh, I see a ticket-office. Good morning! Clerk: Good morning! George: I want three tickets to Boston for tonight. Clerk: Three single or three round tickets? George: Three round trip tickets, please. Clerk: What class would you prefer? George: First class, please. Clerk: Here they are. Your train is leaving at 23.05. George: Thank […]...
38. Значение идиомы dry behind the ears [dry behind the ears] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Experienced; knowing how to do something. Usually used in the negative. John had just started working for the company, and was not dry behind the ears yet. Compare: KNOW ONE’S WAY AROUND. Contrast: WET BEHIND THE EARS....
39. Значение идиомы all ears [all ears] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Very eager to hear; very attentive. – Used in the predicate. Go ahead with your story; we are all ears. When John told about the circus, the boys were all ears....
40. Humor about Drunk Irishmen 2 Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the […]...