What kind of a woman

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1. Taking Prescription Drugs Paula: Okay, I’m off to bed. Marcus: Wait a second. Where are you going with all of those Pill bottles? Paula: My doctor Prescribed a couple of Medications to help me sleep. Marcus: Let me see those. You have four different medications here. This is a Painkiller, this is a Sedative, this is a Tranquilizer, […]...
2. Перевод слова kind Kind – вид, тип, разновидность; добрый, хороший Перевод слова The wrong kind of paper – не такая бумага, как нужно the wolf is an animal of the dog kind – волк относится к семейству псовых the human kind – род человеческий kind person – добрый человек It’s Kind of you to say that. Очень мило […]...
3. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
4. The woman’s secret At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.” “I don’t know about that,” huffily answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.” “You’ll let it out some day,” the […]...
5. Значение идиомы in kind [in kind] {adv. phr.} In a similar way; with the same kind ofthing. My neighbor pays me in kind for walking her dog. Lowreturned Mary’s insult in kind....
6. What kind of clothes are there? What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirty Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes)....
7. Flies A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were […]...
8. Not the Marrying Kind Stacey: I have a date with George this Saturday. I can’t wait! Brad: Have a good time, but you know what The word on the street is about George, don’t you? Stacey: What? Brad: He’s Not the marrying kind. Stacey: Oh, he just hasn’t met the right girl yet. When he does, he’ll be ready […]...
9. Seeing a Circus Performance Paula: Ta-da! We’re here. This is your big surprise. Roman: We’re going to the Circus? Paula: You Got it in one! It’s going to be great. There’ll be Clowns and Acrobats, Trapeze artists and Lion tamers. Roman: I haven’t been to the circus since I was a kid. Paula: That’s the point. I thought this […]...
10. Значение идиомы kind of [kind of] or [sort of] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Almost but notquite; rather. A guinea pig looks kind of like a rabbit, but it hasshort ears. Bob was kind of tired when he finished the job. The teacher sort of frowned but then smiled. Mary wouldn’t tellwhat she wanted to be when she grew up; it […]...
11. A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder. Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder…I’ll sleep with you.” Guy says: “An alligator?” Woman says: “Close enough”...
12. A great new hearing aid John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day. Mary: Are you wearing it now? John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, though. But it’s top of the line. Mary: What kind is it? John: Twelve-thirty....
13. Him and Her The Perfect Day – Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend’s/husband’s ex and notice she’s gained 30 lbs 3:00 Facial, massage, nap 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and […]...
14. Being Cautious or Thrill-Seeking Paula: Did you get an invitation to Kip and Sheri’s wedding? Robert: Yeah, I did. I’m still trying To wrap my head around the two of them getting married. Never in my wildest dreams would I put those two together. It Boggles my mind that they’re In the least compatible. Paula: What do you mean? […]...
15. God created woman, and she had 3 breasts God created woman, and she had 3 breasts. He said to the woman, “Is there anything on you that you’d like to change?” She said, “Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?” God snapped his fingers and it was done. She exclaimed, holding the third breast in her hand, “What am I going […]...
16. Moving in Together My girlfriend and I have been Going out for a year and I thought it was time to have a Heart-to-heart with her. Simon: I have something I want to talk to you about. Can you come over here and sit down for a minute? Paula: Uh oh. Is something wrong? Simon: No, nothing’s wrong. […]...
17. Перевод идиомы nothing of the kind, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: nothing of the kind Перевод: ничего подобного Пример: My boss thought that my comments were complaints but I told him that they were nothing of the kind. Мой начальник подумал, что мои замечания были жалобами, но я сказал, что они совсем таковыми не являлись....
18. Recovering from an Illness or Injury Julio: Hi, Aunt Louisa, it’s Julio. Paula: …And Paula. I’m on the Extension in the kitchen. Julio: Anyway, we just wanted to call and wish you a Speedy recovery. Get plenty of Bed rest and Take it easy. Avoid Greasy or Spicy foods and drink lots of liquids. You don’t want to become Dehydrated. Paula: […]...
19. Перевод идиомы in a kind of way / in a sort of way, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in a kind of way / in a sort of way Перевод: в некоторой степени; несколько, немного Пример: In a kind of way I want to buy a new car but in other ways I don’t think that I really need one. В какой-то степени я хочу купить новую машину, но на самом деле […]...
20. Hamlet’s soliloquy To be, or not to be – that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep – No more, and by a sleep to say we end […]...
21. Having a Wild Party Paula: Okay, let’s get this party started! Mitch: I really don’t think having a party is such a good idea. We’re supposed to be House-sitting, and I’m sure the Abrams wouldn’t want their house used for a big Blowout. Paula: Ignorance is bliss. They’ll never know. Stop being such a Goody two-shoes and help me […]...
22. A woman walks into a tattoo parlour A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?’ ‘Why of course!’ ‘Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.’ ‘No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down […]...
23. Перевод слова kind-hearted Kind-hearted – добросердечный, чистосердечный, мягкий Перевод слова A Kindhearted neighbor offered to help. Добросердечный сосед предложил помочь. I’ll discuss this Kindhearted offer with the client. Я хочу обсудить это чистосердечное предложение со своим клиентом. Agent Scully, you are so Kindhearted. Агент Скалли, вы так мягкосердечны. Происхождение слова kind-hearted Составное слово, образованное слиянием слов...
24. Best kind of sex A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, ” Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them.”...
25. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]...
26. Giving Birth to Twins Jerome: Congratulations! I just heard that you’re Pregnant with Twins. Paula: Thanks. We’re very excited, although I’m a little worried about a Multiple birth. Jerome: I Come from a long line of multiple births. My father is an Identical twin and he had cousins who are Fraternal twins. Paula: I see what you mean. Jerome: […]...
27. A strange kind of robbery Jim had been out on the town with a dazzling blonde, and he was returning home as the rosy tints of dawn began to color the skies. Marshaling all his inner resources, he managed an air of sobriety and dignity before the suspicious eye and wagging tongue of his wife. Suddenly, as he was undressing, […]...
28. Being Physically Strong Takeshi: What do you want me to do with this Piano? Paula: I want you to move it from the living room to the family room. You’re As strong as an ox and that’s why I called you for help. Takeshi: Lucky me. I don’t think I can move that piano by myself, though. Paula: […]...
29. Play on the words “Welcome to Entropy Burgers – may I take your order?” “I put in disorder a long time ago. The service here is getting worse all the time.” “My experience Gibbs me reason to believe you.” “I know the waitress who asked that, too. Her name’s Ellen Omega. She really made me thermally dynamic. So, I […]...
30. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
31. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, […]...
32. I just did all of that After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes,” the golfer responded. “Did you […]...
33. A dog for a wife It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, Good Evening, Sir!” The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute […]...
34. Which of the following does not belong? Which of the following doesn’t belong? (a) meat (b) eggs (c) wife (d) blow job (D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob...
35. A woman came to the psychiatrist worried A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. “Doctor,” she said, “I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?” “Easy,” said the doctor. “Just take the carpet off the […]...
36. An advantage of being with an older woman If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you....
37. A business man from New York decided to quit his job A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I […]...
38. Значение идиомы sleep on [sleep on] {v.} To postpone a decision about. We asked Judy ifshe would join our club and she answered that she would sleep on it. We will have to sleep on your invitation until we know whether wewill be free Monday night....
39. A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m […]...
40. Women’s instructions WOMEN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So […]...