You might be a redneck if 07
You might be a redneck if…
You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade.
You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
You can’t tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)
Related topics:
- You might be a redneck if 06 You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are “Attention K-Mart shoppers.” The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from […]...
- Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest […]...
- You might be a redneck if 04 You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part […]...
- You might be a redneck if 01 You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not […]...
- You might be a redneck if 10 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?” (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve […]...
- You might be a redneck if 05 You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!” Your family tree […]...
- Describing Family Relations Eri: What’s that? James: It’s an invitation to a Family reunion. Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one. Eri: Are you going? James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing Extended family. Did you know that there used to be a big Feud between my father and his […]...
- This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...
- You might be a redneck if 02 You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it […]...
- You might be a redneck if 03 You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his […]...
- You might be a redneck if 09 You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon […]...
- You might be a redneck if 08 You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since “Smokey and the Bandit” was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least […]...
- Making a Comeback Eileen: What are you doing with all that Band equipment? Dex: The guys in the band are planning a Reunion. It’s time for our Comeback. It will be the Stuff of legends! Eileen: Aren’t you afraid of being called Has-beens after all these years? Dex: Bite your tongue. There is a Groundswell of support for […]...
- Перевод слова soap Soap – мыло; мелодрама Перевод слова Soap bubble – мыльный пузырь cake of soap – кусок мыла soap dispenser – дозатор жидкого мыла This Soap will remove the most obstinate stains. Это мыло отстирает самые трудновыводимые пятна. Rinse off any Soap residue. Смойте остатки мыла. She had overdosed on Soap operas. Она смотрела слишком много […]...
- Перевод слова governor Governor – правитель, губернатор Перевод слова The governors and the governed – правители и их подданные governor of a state – губернатор штата to elect smb. governor – выбрать кого-л. губернатором The Governor will run for a second term. Губернатор будет баллотироваться на второй срок. The new Governor pledged to reduce crime. Новый губернатор пообещал […]...
- Next US President A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: “I’d like to become the next President of the United States.” The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?” Redneck: “Why, is it required?”...
- Sexually active A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,”IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?” THE REDNECK SAYS,”NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
- Значение идиомы ball game [ball game] {n.}, {slang}, also {informal} The entire matter at hand; the whole situation; the entire contest. You said we can get a second mortgage for the house?! Wow! That’s a whole new ball game....
- Перевод слова grandmother Grandmother – бабушка Перевод слова To hug one’s grandmother – обнять свою бабушку teach grandmother – яйца курицу не учат; учить старшего; учить ученого great-grandmother – прабабка Grandmother dotes on the twins. Бабушка без ума от близнецов. She was named for her Grandmother. Ее назвали в честь бабушки. Her Grandmother must be pushing 75. Ее […]...
- My Family I am Zhilin Andrey. Andrey is my name and Zhilin is my surname. I am seventeen years old. I want to tell you a few words about my family. My family is not large. I have got mother, father and grandmother. There are four of us in the family. First of all some words about […]...
- Soap dispenser Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back […]...
- Значение идиомы play a waiting game [play a waiting game] {v. phr.} To withhold action until one’schances for success improve. Ray would like to be vice president ofthe company so he is playing a waiting game in the hope that thepresident will soon recognize his abilities....
- Перевод слова spare Spare – запасной, резервный; скудный, тощий Перевод слова Spare parts – запасные части spare tyre – запасная шина he is spare of speech – он скуп на слова spare frame – сухощавое телосложение I have no time to Spare. У меня нет свободного времени. The Spare tyre is in the boot. Запасное колесо находиться в […]...
- Значение идиомы get off [get off] {v.} 1. To come down from or out of. The ladder fell, and Tom couldn’t get off the roof. The bus stopped, the dooropened, and Father got off. 2. To take off. Joe’s mother told himto get his wet clothes off. 3. To get away; leave. Mr. Johnsongoes fishing whenever he can get […]...
- Only in America Only in America…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance… Only in America…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink… Only in America…do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke… Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to […]...
- Q & A Iraqi War Jokes Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Q: What’s the fastest way to […]...
- Значение идиомы call out [call out] {v. phr.} 1. To shout; speak loudly. My name was called out several times, but I was unable to hear it. 2. To summon someone. If the rioting continues, the governor will have to call out the National Guard....
- A Family Party I visit my Hometown about once a year. This year, I was In town for about five days and there was a family Get-together. It wasn’t a Family reunion since it was just my Immediate family, but still, there were a total of about 45 people who Showed up. Our family parties are always held […]...
- Значение идиомы soap opera [soap opera] {n. phr.} Radio or television serialized stories of asentimental nature, often involving sex, crime, and social intrigue. These shows often advertise soap products, hence their name. Thetwo longest running soap operas in the United States were “Dallas” and”Knot’s Landing.”...
- Перевод слова entire Entire – полный, целый Перевод слова The entire country – вся страна the entire world – целый мир, весь свет entire contract – неделимый договор Have you drunk the Entire bottle? Вы выпили всю бутылку? He willed his Entire estate to her. Он завещал ей все свое состояние. The war affected an Entire generation of […]...
- Understanding Men and Women Lucy: Jeff, Here’s a question. I was Just talking to Dawn. You know, they had their first Wedding anniversary last week. Guess what her husband gave her as a present. Jeff: I don’t know. What? Lucy: He gave her a Vacuum cleaner. Jeff: Didn’t she want a vacuum cleaner? Lucy: Yes, the old one was […]...
- Slow golfers ahead Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. […]...
- Значение идиомы bingo card [bingo card] {n.}, {slang} A response card, bound into a periodical, containing numbers keyed to editorial or advertising matter, giving the reader the opportunity to send for further information by marking the numbers of the items he is interested in; such a card can be mailed free of charge. Jack thinks he is saving time […]...
- Describing Speech and Language Ability Blaire: Do you have any idea what he’s saying? Antonio: It’s Greek to me. You’re supposed to be the one who’s Fluent. Can’t you Make out what he’s saying? Blaire: I never said I was fluent. I said I could Get by in the language. There’s a big difference. Antonio: Why don’t you try saying […]...
- Technology problems One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly […]...
- Значение идиомы at — stage of the game [at — stage of the game] {adv. phr.} At time during an activity; at point. At that stage of the game, our team was doing so poorly that we were ready to give up. It’s hard to know what will happen at this stage of the game. At what stage of the game did the […]...
- How to call penis At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a […]...
- Soap Operas В топике Сериалы автор знакомит вас с двумя точками зрения ответа на вопрос: “а нужны ли вообще сериалы?” Кстати, ранее сериалы назывались “мыльными операми”. Те, у кого есть свободное время, отлично проведут его за просмотром любимого сериала, но только не стоит становиться фанатом, который никак не может дождаться следующей серии. А впрочем, это ваш выбор. […]...
- High School Reunion When I got home from work, I opened my mail. The letter Turned out to be a bombshell. I Held in my hand an invitation to my 10-year High school reunion. It was a shock because I couldn’t believe it had been 10 years. The first thing I did was to call my Oldest and […]...
- Hotel Housekeeping I’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the […]...