You might be a redneck if 07

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1. You might be a redneck if 06You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are «Attention K-Mart shoppers.» The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from ... Читать далее...
2. Redneck wins lotteryA Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says «I want my $20 million.» To which the man replied, «No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest ... Читать далее...
3. You might be a redneck if 04You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part ... Читать далее...
4. You might be a redneck if 01You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not ... Читать далее...
5. You might be a redneck if 10You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are «Howdy!», «HEY!» or «How Y’all Doin’?» (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve ... Читать далее...
6. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
7. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
8. A husband and wife were in their back yardA husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, «Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.» She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, «Yep, that thing is getting huge.» At this, the wife retreated to the ... Читать далее...
9. You might be a redneck if 02You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it ... Читать далее...
10. You might be a redneck if 09You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon ... Читать далее...
11. You might be a redneck if 03You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his ... Читать далее...
12. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова soapSoap — мыло; мелодрама Перевод слова Soap bubble — мыльный пузырь cake of soap — кусок мыла soap dispenser — дозатор жидкого мыла This Soap will remove the most obstinate stains. Это мыло отстирает самые трудновыводимые пятна. Rinse off any Soap residue. Смойте остатки мыла. She had overdosed on Soap operas. Она смотрела слишком много ... Читать далее...
14. Next US PresidentA redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: «I’d like to become the next President of the United States.» The receptionist: «What are you, an idiot?» Redneck: «Why, is it required?»...
15. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
16. Soap dispenserTwo priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова ropeRope — веревка, канат, трос Перевод слова To broom end of wire rope — распустить конец троса rope burns on our wrists — следы от веревки на наших запястьях to ease up on a rope — ослаблять веревку The farmer has Roped off the field to keep the animals out. Фермер огородил поле веревкой, чтобы ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова shadeShade — тень, прохлада, затенять; оттенок, тон Перевод слова In the leafy shade — под сенью листвы in a shade of the forest — в тенистой прохладе леса material in all shades of blue — ткань всех оттенков синего цвета The thermometer gives 25 degrees in the Shade. Термометр показывает 25 градусов в тени. His ... Читать далее...
19. Definition of Outdoor BarbecuingDefinition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a «real» man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова kitchenKitchen — кухня Перевод слова Kitchen clobber — кухонные приспособления field kitchen — полевая кухня kitchen unit — кухонный комбайн the French kitchen — французская кухня Get out of the Kitchen! Выметайся из кухни! Who messed up the Kitchen? Кто устроил беспорядок на кухне? Lock the cat in the Kitchen. Закрой кота на кухне....
21. Значение идиомы soap opera[soap opera] {n. phr.} Radio or television serialized stories of asentimental nature, often involving sex, crime, and social intrigue. These shows often advertise soap products, hence their name. Thetwo longest running soap operas in the United States were «Dallas» and»Knot’s Landing.»...
22. Перевод слова hamburgerHamburger — гамбургер Перевод слова To grill a hamburger — жарить бифштекс king-size hamburger — большой гамбургер hamburger roll — булочка для гамбургера Grill a Hamburger for me. Поджарь мне гамбургер. She put ketchup on her Hamburger. Она полила свой гамбургер кетчупом....
23. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы cold[cold] See: BLOOD RUNS COLD, BLOW HOT AND COLD, CATCH COLD or TAKE COLD, IN COLD BLOOD, OUT COLD, OUT IN THE COLD, PASS OUT, STONE-COLD, STOP COLD, THROW COLD WATER ON....
25. Soap OperasВ топике Сериалы автор знакомит вас с двумя точками зрения ответа на вопрос: «а нужны ли вообще сериалы?» Кстати, ранее сериалы назывались «мыльными операми». Те, у кого есть свободное время, отлично проведут его за просмотром любимого сериала, но только не стоит становиться фанатом, который никак не может дождаться следующей серии. А впрочем, это ваш выбор. ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы rope off[rope off] {v. phr.} To divide into sections by use of a rope. The police roped off the section of the street where the presidentwas expected to jog....
27. Значение идиомы give one enough rope and he will hang himself[give one enough rope and he will hang himself] {informal} Give abad person enough time and freedom to do as he pleases, and he maymake a bad mistake or get into trouble and be caught. — A proverb. Johnny is always stealing and hasn’t been caught. But give him enoughrope and he’ll hang himself. — ... Читать далее...
28. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
29. Cow jokeAnother Cow joke I attribute to my ‘Ol chemestry prof was the placement of a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would be down. Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова coldCold — холод, холодный; простуда Перевод слова To catch a cold — простудиться, подхватить простуду cold drink — холодная выпивка a cold stare — холодный взгляд cold facts — голые факты cold reality — объективная реальность I have a Cold. Я простужен. Gosh, it’s Cold. Боже, как холодно!...
31. Using EmailOne of the first things I do Each morning is to Check my email. I Open the email Program on my computer and I Check for new Messages. It usually takes only a few seconds for my new messages to Download from the Server into my Inbox unless there’s a large Attachment. I can then ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы end of one’s rope[end of one’s rope] or [end of one’s tether] {n. phr.}, {informal}The end of your trying or imagining; the last of your ability, orideas of how to do more. Frank was out of work and broke, and hewas at the end of his rope. The doctor saw that Mother had reachedthe end of her tether, ... Читать далее...
33. Commiting suicideA blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, «You put it around your neck!» The ... Читать далее...
34. My FamilyI am Zhilin Andrey. Andrey is my name and Zhilin is my surname. I am seventeen years old. I want to tell you a few words about my family. My family is not large. I have got mother, father and grandmother. There are four of us in the family. First of all some words about ... Читать далее...
35. The power of the pressTwo boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы rope Into[rope Into] {v.}, {informal} 1. To trick into; persuadedishonestly. Jerry let the big boys rope him into stealing someapples. 2. To get to join in; persuade to work at. Itwas Sue’s job to bathe the dog but she roped Sam into helping her. Mother did not go to the first meeting of the club because ... Читать далее...
37. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод сленгового выражения at the end of one’s rope, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: at the end of one’s rope Перевод: не иметь выбора, альтернативы; застрять в плохой ситуации Синоним: in a jam; at wit’s end Пример: I’m at the end of my rope — I lost my job, my car died, and I don’t have any money in the bank. Я просто в ужаснейшей ситуации — ... Читать далее...
39. Frivolous Old GalI have become a little older since I last saw you and a few changes have come into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go see John. Next, ... Читать далее...
40. Kind of awkwardA guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to fix some drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he’s looking at it, ... Читать далее...