You might be a redneck if 06

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1. You might be a redneck if 07You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. ... Читать далее...
2. Redneck wins lotteryA Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says «I want my $20 million.» To which the man replied, «No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest ... Читать далее...
3. You might be a redneck if 10You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are «Howdy!», «HEY!» or «How Y’all Doin’?» (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!) You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You’ve ... Читать далее...
4. You might be a redneck if 04You might be a redneck if… The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part ... Читать далее...
5. You might be a redneck if 08You might be a redneck if… You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since «Smokey and the Bandit» was snubbed for best picture. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least ... Читать далее...
6. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
7. You might be a redneck if 02You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it ... Читать далее...
8. You might be a redneck if 01You might be a redneck if… More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You think the O. J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. Your boat has not ... Читать далее...
9. You might be a redneck if 09You might be a redneck if… Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding. Bikers back down from your momma. You were shooting pool when your kids were born. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon ... Читать далее...
10. You might be a redneck if 03You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his ... Читать далее...
11. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
12. Lost In The SnowA blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. «If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.» Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for ... Читать далее...
13. A blonde got lost in her car in a snow stormA blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. «If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it». Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова soapSoap — мыло; мелодрама Перевод слова Soap bubble — мыльный пузырь cake of soap — кусок мыла soap dispenser — дозатор жидкого мыла This Soap will remove the most obstinate stains. Это мыло отстирает самые трудновыводимые пятна. Rinse off any Soap residue. Смойте остатки мыла. She had overdosed on Soap operas. Она смотрела слишком много ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы hairdo[hairdo] {n.} Style or manner of arranging, combing, or wearingone’s hair. «How do you like my new hairdo?» Jane asked, as sheleft the beauty parlor....
16. Перевод слова attractAttract — притягивать, привлекать Перевод слова Magnet attracts steel — магнит притягивает сталь to attract attention — привлекать внимание to attract admirers — пленять поклонников Leftover food Attracts flies. Остатки пищи привлекают мух. He shouted to Attract attention. Он закричал, чтобы обратить на себя внимание. The museums Attract a lot of tourists. Музеи привлекают множество ... Читать далее...
17. Next US PresidentA redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: «I’d like to become the next President of the United States.» The receptionist: «What are you, an idiot?» Redneck: «Why, is it required?»...
18. Sexually activeA REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. THE DR. ASKS,»IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?» THE REDNECK SAYS,»NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER. Sent by BOBBY...
19. Soap dispenserTwo priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова ropeRope — веревка, канат, трос Перевод слова To broom end of wire rope — распустить конец троса rope burns on our wrists — следы от веревки на наших запястьях to ease up on a rope — ослаблять веревку The farmer has Roped off the field to keep the animals out. Фермер огородил поле веревкой, чтобы ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова truckTruck — грузовик Перевод слова Truck driver — водитель грузовика light truck — малотоннажный грузовой автомобиль to slam into a truck — врезаться в грузовик The Truck laboured up the hill. Грузовик с трудом взбирался вверх по склону. He has Trucked all his equipment. Он привез на грузовике все свое оборудование. He jumped into his ... Читать далее...
22. Man posing as security guard steals $75,000 from Oklahoma Wal-MartA man dressed as a security guard walked out of an Oklahoma Wal-Mart with $75,000 in cash, a crime that went undetected until the real security guards showed up later to transport the money, police said. The suspect walked into the Wal-Mart on Saturday in Bristow, southwest of Tulsa, dressed in clothes similar to those ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы soap opera[soap opera] {n. phr.} Radio or television serialized stories of asentimental nature, often involving sex, crime, and social intrigue. These shows often advertise soap products, hence their name. Thetwo longest running soap operas in the United States were «Dallas» and»Knot’s Landing.»...
24. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, whenThere is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says «Son do you remember that session I arranged for you ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова dangerDanger — опасность, угроза Перевод слова Danger of death — смертельная опасность to escape from danger — избежать опасности the dangers to health — вещи, вредные для здоровья He is aware of Danger. Он отдает себе отчет о грозящей опасности. The Danger has passed. Опасность миновала. He smelt Danger. Он почувствовал опасность. Примеры из жизни ... Читать далее...
26. A fellow was following a truck in heavy trafficA fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы birds and the bees[birds and the bees ] {n. phr.}, {informal} The facts we should know about our birth. At various ages, in response to questions, a child can be told about the birds and the bees....
28. Перевод идиомы the birds and the bees, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: the birds and the bees Перевод: «пестики и тычинки», способ говорить об отношениях полов в образовательных целях Пример: The father tried to tell his son about the birds and the bees. Отец пытался рассказать своему сыну о пестиках и тычинках....
29. Soap OperasВ топике Сериалы автор знакомит вас с двумя точками зрения ответа на вопрос: «а нужны ли вообще сериалы?» Кстати, ранее сериалы назывались «мыльными операми». Те, у кого есть свободное время, отлично проведут его за просмотром любимого сериала, но только не стоит становиться фанатом, который никак не может дождаться следующей серии. А впрочем, это ваш выбор. ... Читать далее...
30. Million-dollar bill user pleads ignorance, blames TreasuryA woman who tried to use a fake $1 million bill to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart said it was all just a misunderstanding — she thought the bill was real. The United States Treasury does not make $1 million bills. «You can’t keep up with the U. S. Treasury,» said Alice Pike, ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы rope off[rope off] {v. phr.} To divide into sections by use of a rope. The police roped off the section of the street where the presidentwas expected to jog....
32. Значение идиомы give one enough rope and he will hang himself[give one enough rope and he will hang himself] {informal} Give abad person enough time and freedom to do as he pleases, and he maymake a bad mistake or get into trouble and be caught. — A proverb. Johnny is always stealing and hasn’t been caught. But give him enoughrope and he’ll hang himself. — ... Читать далее...
33. Swarm of bees follows car for 2 days to rescue queen trapped in backDevotion knows no bounds when it comes to bees and their leader. When Carol Howarth parked her Mitsubishi in the town of Haverfordwest, Wales, to do some shopping, little did she know the mayhem that would ensue. While she attended to her errands, a swarm of 20,000 bees was drawn to her car. A local ... Читать далее...
34. Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnelTwo truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, «Damn…3 .2 meters!» The second one looks furtively around and says, «No police, anywhere. We can go!»...
35. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
36. Cow jokeAnother Cow joke I attribute to my ‘Ol chemestry prof was the placement of a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would be down. Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы mark one’s words[mark one’s words] {v. phr.} To pay close attention to what onesays; an emphatic expression indicating prophecy. «It willcertainly rain tomorrow,» he said. «Mark my words.»...
38. Bought a lousy treeSigns you’ve got a bad christmas tree 8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide 7. Salesman’s opening line: «You’re not a cop, are you?» 6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers 5. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride. ... Читать далее...
39. The hunting seasonThis truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying «NERDS NOT ALLOWED — ENTER AT OWN RISK!» He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы end of one’s rope[end of one’s rope] or [end of one’s tether] {n. phr.}, {informal}The end of your trying or imagining; the last of your ability, orideas of how to do more. Frank was out of work and broke, and hewas at the end of his rope. The doctor saw that Mother had reachedthe end of her tether, ... Читать далее...